we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are

wait it gets better

I’m losing my mind

HEARTBREAKING: character actually mildly interesting to think about but I Dont like their fans

I want to be an evil wizard. but I keep choosing kindness

does anyone have advice

Oracle of Delphi ahh post

Being a bi guy quite possibly the funniest sexuality like dammmnnnn I know who John Waters is and jerk it to twinks in panties but I got a coffee date with Hetero Jessica from work at 3 thats her name heteroooo jessica thats her name folks thats what we call her hertero jessica

yoou guys wont be laughing when i suddenly collapse unconscious and have to be taken to the hospital. then youll all see <- normal thought process to have while doing anything i dont want to

god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace

throwback to 4 years ago when Rooney outed my younger sibling to me

hey americans there is a recall on testosterone gel because they found benzene in it! please check the lot numbers on your batches, benzene is really not something you want to be rubbing into your skin, also you might be eligible for compensation because this is just insane what the fuck

more on this page:

not only testosterone gel has been recalled - if you click on the link above, you’ll see that there are a lot of other medications affected, ranging from ibuprofen to thyroid medication to psych meds and a whole bunch in between. i’d say usamericans who use ANY medication should check this list just to be safe

evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

God this makes me think of this screenshot:

"it minimizes you as a person" really wraps up my entire discomfort with the whole "oh but i'm just a girl" thing when used in most situations.

your edible is never going to kick in because you're a bad person

Better take another one, maybe even three

/hj is the funniest earnest tonetag in the world even without the handjob joke because it's ostensibly meant to clarify tone for autistic people, but the tone it's clarifying is "unreadable level of ambiguous seriousness that requires social context beyond what text can convey /glhffgt"

I'm half joking, which either means that I'm presenting sincere beliefs flippantly to avoid backlash, that I'm completely lying about what someone like me would say, that I'm presenting a mix of true and false statements, or that I'm loaning out a socially acceptable opinion to nudge you back in line /hj

THAT'S WHAT /HJ MEANS???

in my opinion it does have other uses, like saying "I'll eat it (/hj)" as in there's a possibility of eating it

4chan memorial post. rest in hell