💌🫧 , " bubblef1zz "

It's okay if your DID isn't having friends in your head. Everyone saying achieving that is easy or you're at fault for not being there is wrong. Even some people far in recovery don't see their parts as their friends, and that's okay. Not everyone can be there, not everyone can find happiness in their disorder, not everyone can be appreciative of it, and not everyone can feel better using self love alone

You are not at fault for your struggles, not everything is easy to fix, you are not being too negative. You're just trying to get by after everything you went though, and you don't have to be positive about it. Never let someone tell you otherwise

Why I don't like to talk about my alters on my accounts:

- Alters are not the only part of OSDDID! There's already a huuuuuge focus on alters online, it genuinely annoys me sometimes. I don't view my alters as a huge 'concern' because my concern is in my other symptoms, not alters specifically.

- It's only my business to know of my alters and their actions, I don't want to only ever talk about the silly goofy moments. I can sit here and tell you how X did something hehe haha, but that's not my daily reality. My daily reality isn't these fun moments; it's coping. I cope and deal with dissociation, C-PTSD symptoms, depression. I don't want my own presentation on posts to be those moments. I want to uplift people, I want to complain, I want to let myself be me and part of me are my struggles. I won't sit here and detail every little thing, of course, but my posts are about CDDs, not alter disorder. When I share parts of my life, I don't want to be innacurate to my own personal experiences to 'fit in' with anyone else.

- I rarely proxy in spaces like this because I see it sometimes as irrelevant. If I make a post, do you really need to know which alter wrote said post? I'm Bubblefizz online, that's all you need to know, right? You don't need to know me by any other name. If an alter decides to proxy online or make a sideblog or an account, that's their decision. Just know that here on Bubblef1zz the focus is uplifting and being realistic and putting light on the symptoms outside of alters directly.

🍈 ,, I wrote this post and want to add to it!

This is also why I don't share any Simply Plural account or Octocon account online just freely available. I don't want to risk strangers leaking any of my system information. I don't want to just 'hand it out' to seemingly anyone who asks for it. I'll talk about as much as I want that I think is fair and not too personal for the internet to know. I'll use emojis if I want to leave a code behind for my own system, I'll use my own name if I'm okay with the internet calling me that. No one needs more information about me, not even my closest friends need every single detail, that can still be just as dangerous as strangers knowing.

Be careful on the internet, everyone!

It is okay for people to hate their DID! I did for a very long time before I grew to fully accept it and my alters. Don't put people down who post about hating their DID/system it is rude and unnecessary.

i remember being very confused and scared that i didn’t have an innerworld/headspace. or at least a headspace that was similar to how they were described to me at first (by the community). or even one that i knew about. this was back in 2020-2021 i think, i don’t quite remember the timeline but it was around the time when CDDs were getting more popular on tiktok.

innerworlds and headspaces took up a big part of the conversations surrounding DID/OSDD and i could never relate what people said about them.

i was so convinced that i had something deeply wrong with me/my parts because i didn’t have this magical feeling, developed, complex world inside of my head where all of my parts went and hung out with one another. or that i didn’t know enough about my parts/disorder to understand that stuff fully.

i was even more unaware of my parts than i am now, so trying to ‘force myself’ to relate to the experiences of other people really just made it 10x worse for me and my recovery.

i remember seeing all of the innerworld interaction posts and comments and feeling very isolated (i guess would be the right word, i don’t quite know) because i didn’t relate to that vivid, comforting headspace that everyone seemed to have. i thought that innerworlds and headspaces were real places that a part would go (that every person with DID (or osdd1) had) and it was insanely distressing to seemingly/maybe lack what seemed like an integral aspect of the disorder or being so unaware of it that i felt ‘behind’ or less than other people with DID/OSDD1.

and honestly, i still know next to nothing about my parts, communication, etc. i don’t know for 100% certainty what a headspace is, how it might function, if it’s possible that i have one, etc. it’s not something i’m educated on, even after asking my psychs and doctors. which is also distressing. it sucks feeling so ‘locked out’ of your own brain and life.

inner worlds are simply a visualization tool. It’s not this magical place where alters go.

yeah i know that now lol. it was described poorly to me a few years ago and that’s how i thought it was

Maybe the lines between different roles are blurred for you. Maybe the lines between introject and not an introject are blurred for you. Maybe the lines are blurred between co-consciousness and co-fronting for you. Maybe the lines between human and non-human are blurred for you. Maybe you can't tell how old you are or what you look like or you don't know who some other alter is. It's fine. These are all words for you to understand your own experience. It's ok if your experience is not perfectly boxed. Just live and move forward.

Daily Reminder

If you are a survivor of abuse with non malicious intent/awareness:

You may forgive them or you may not. Neither is more right or wrong. What matters is taking steps towards your own healing.

Its an awful burden to wear that we must heal ourselves from something an abuser often walks free of. Alas, we owe to ourselves to be more than how they made us feel.

If you weren't directly effected by the shit convoy-system did to his friends you do not have the right to accept his apology or say he's improved. I have seen the harm he's caused first hand, he has not improved, he is doing the same shit he's been doing since day one.

I watched him intentionally trigger my friends, I watched him threaten animals anytime someone dared to speak about them, I watched how he silenced anyone who disagreed with him, I watched every blog he would create then purge just to return and seek validation from a new community. He was someone myself and many considered a friend and he hurt us. He is not the victim, he was not the one who chose to leave us behind. No matter how badly he wants to act like the poor innocent victim of evil anti endos, this goes outside of syscourse. None of us give a shit that he's pro endo.

Yes, he posted people to systemscringe, but that's not even close to the worst of things he's done. That's barely anything. You do not get to decide to forgive him and praise him for "changing" when you have no idea who he is and the extent of the things he's done.

His apologies are bullshit, his pro endo act is bullshit, his friendly accepting persona is bullshit. He lies on the internet, that's what he likes to do. The only good thing to come of him is our group coming together and sticking together after everything he did.

"Introjects aren't their source until it's a TCC introject"

Hey so people calling you out for using the name and face of school shooters for your Eric and Dylan alters that just so happen to also be dating in sys isn't treating you like your source. It's treating you like the disgusting person you are. Being a system doesn't make it okay to openly identify as fucking Jeffery Dahmer or use fan art of the Columbine shooters to show how "cute" your system couples are.

Something I think needs clarifying or restating in syscourse:

terms to avoid if ur anti endo;

someone should teach me basıc communıcatıon skılls because ı seem to be bad at speakıng wıth people </3

@thatbitchbubblef1zz ıs my sıdeblog!!