HAPPY DAY ONE OF VALENTINES DAY💗💞💝💖💗💞💖💕💘💓💕💗💗💗💘💖💗💞💝💖💗💞💗💘💕💞💖💗💗💞💗💘💕💓💖💗💝💝💘💕💖💘💗💞💓💗💘💝💘💖💘💘💕💕💕💓💖💗💞💗💘💗💝💖💓💖💞💝

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

“Whats your safe word?”

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

Lol i need to be his friend

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

“Ooo that’s cute”

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

someone on tumblr: LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS

me:

“what makes you happy?”

Me: the little rainbow flag Captain Holt keeps on his desk

There should be a game where it starts with old school graphics and as you level up it gets better and better.

Ah…….annuzzer day in bikini bottem………

22 Jump Street (2014), dir. Phil Lord, Christopher Miller

IF ANYONE EVER TELLS YOU THAT SUCKER PUNCH IS AIMLESS ALMOST-PORN FOR NERD BOYS YOU PUNCH THEM RIGHT IN THE THROAT BECAUSE THAT IS THE FURTHEST FROM THE TRUTH. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GODDAMN MOVIE.

THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING SELF-EMPOWERING, SO MIND-TWISTING WITH LAYERS AND LAYERS OF SETTING UNTIL YOU’RE LOST TO WHAT’S REAL AND WHAT’S FAKE. THESE GIRLS WHO ARE BEING PROSTITUTED AGAINST THEIR WILL FIGHT TO TAKE BACK THEIR BODIES THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN AND THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL THEY’RE FREE.

THE MUSIC IN THIS MOVIE MAKES YOU WANT TO SLAY A PLANET OF ZOMBIES AND KICK-ASS BOOTS AND SEQUINED SKIRTS BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT’S ABOUT. THESE GIRLS FUCKING DESTROY EVERYTHING IN THEIR PATHS IN MINI-SKIRTS THAT THEY KNOW THEY LOOK MORE BADASS THAN DEAN WINCHESTER IN  AND THEY USE IT TO THEIR FUCKING ADVANTAGE AND IF YOU DON’T THINK THAT’S THE COOLEST SHIT I HOPE YOU HAVE TO RUN ACROSS A FIELD OF LEGOS AND PICK OUT EVERY SINGLE WHITE TWO-PIECE YOU LITTLE SHIT

I was gonna reblog it anyway because of the gif set but then I read the post and broke my hand over the reblog button.

ok ok listen i know a lot of people have been bringing up the fact that they dont like brooklyn nine nine because they feel like it’s a “pro-cop show” and it’s “idolizing a gross system” but like?? please try to understand that that is not the point of this show at all?? they have explicitly stated the problem with the police system in one of the episodes, where amy lists real concerns and holt puts up a poster that says “tell us how we can be better.” this is one of the very few shows who i see actually addressing real problems like gun control issues, homophobia, racism, and transphobia (it was just a mention, but still way more than any other show), while still being lighthearted and hilarious. just because this show is set in a cop setting does not mean they are praising anything?? please don’t diss an genuinely funny, good show so quickly because of that. it’s not perfect but it’s trying so much more than anything else on tv right now.

this shouldn’t have made me laugh so hard but I almost cried

in a relationship with healthy communication, arguments should end with understanding on both ends

you have to keep the goal in mind

do you want to win? or do you want to understand that person and resolve the issue? (ask yourself once, then ask again)

the ego loves to win an argument, but relationships are not about feeding your ego

healthy relationships dilute the ego

if you find yourself arguing to win in your relationship, consider what you value more: the love you share with that person, or protecting your ego

reasons to love and cherish brooklyn nine nine

1. it’s lgbtq+ safe

2. its a calm fandom

3. it isn’t cliché, or by the numbers

4. every character is extremely likeable from the beginning

5. there’s no controversy concerning the show

6. the characters seem as though they’re one dimensional stereotypes but watch maybe two episodes and you’ll see they’re all perfectly written

7. the two lgbtq+ characters aren’t written as so, because their sexuality doesn’t shape them in the show, but they still bring it up when necessary

8. jake peralta and amy santiago being the most perfect, lovely, and all around most beautiful couple

9. in season one, charles has a crush on rosa which develops into an amazing friendship where rosa end up COMING OUT TO CHARLES?

10. terry has three daughters and a wife and not once has he complained about how “he’s always wanted a boy” or “someone to play ball with”

11. the fact that terry’s such a badass softie

12. while the show itself isn’t controversial, it perfectly covers some pretty controversial topics (racism, homophobia etc.)

13. gina linetti goes from a character who cares about no one but herself, could never imagine settling down or even having kids, TO ACTUALLY HAVING A KID AND SETTLING DOWN (but without changing her as a person)

14. captain holt being a father figure for jake and a mentor for amy

15. amy santiago goes from being a girl who just sucks up to her boss so he can hopefully mentor (but in a good way) to a woman who knows how to stand up to him and be her own person

16. jake peralta goes from an immature detective who’s in over his head and too cocky, to a man who’s willing to always do what’s right, and always willing to help his friends and colleagues at the nine nine

17. charles boyle gets a kid but it doesn’t affect him as a detective or as a person

18. captain holt & kevin’s relationship

19. it’s so much deeper than you realize, you’d think it’s just a funny cop show, but the thing is, it’s a funny cop show with some of the best devoloped romances, friendships and characters in general

20. there’s two latina characters and actors on the show who’ve been there since the beginning, two black actors/characters who’ve been there since day one

21. even though scully and hitchcock may seem useless sometimes, even they help the nine nine sometimes, in little ways, but they’re there

22. the nine nine is a family. there’s no way you’d ever be able to take them down because they all have each other always and forever.

^^ i could go on tbh

JESUS?? 

JESUS????

i had no idea they were so frickin huge

I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them

Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?

Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens

Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.

So basically the only reason natural selection hasn’t taken care if them is because they are the most useless fish

yes, they’ve perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable

a true inspiration

SO APPARENTLY RAP STANDS FOR “RHYTHM AND POETRY”

when people ask how long you’ve been online

I’m called out

I feel so attacked

This triggered a fight or flight response in me.