subway doors should be sharpened like guillotine blades

scam texts aren't even trying any more. i have to pay my taxes? at latina fiesta dot co???

i love you forever my best friend in their 20s who i see only once in 5 months but every time we see each other it feels like an eternal love that only ever expands and gets bigger i hope we make it

To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

Yes

Sent from my Galaxy Dishwasher

A patient, explaining what their relationship is to their new visitor who was headed up to see them, said, “he’s my guardian,” and I said “oh I didn’t you had a legal guardian,” and the patient said, “he’s not my legal guardian, he’s my spiritual and physical guardian. He is also my brother. Well, I say he’s my brother. He’s like a brother. He’s my husband.” And I say this with genuinely no judgment, just pure curiosity, what

When one of the couthed up mutuals reblogs something uncouth. Didn’t know you had that in you…

today's bug thing is this snail anatomical figure!

THERE IS NO DELTARUNE

THERE IS NO SILKSONG

AND THERE IS NO QUEEN OF ENGLAND

Betcha feel stupid now don’t you?

the queen of england coming to the Nintendo switch 2

every day i think about the cat on twitter who looks more like a scheming eunuch than any creature has ever looked

monkey i love you beloved little freak i would die for you

like……… look at this face

UNREAL

Hey kid, sorry I killed your dad with a huge sword. The cycle of violence is super fucked up isn't it. Hopefully it can stop with you.

starting a collection #blackmold

im tired of christian beliefs being treated as not insane

The Kiss by DirkJake

DELTWRUNE ANNOYNCED H MY FUCKUNG GOD

fundamentally, no television show will ever be succession again

*aborted little brother voice* it would be my turn on the xbox...if i existed...