bender futurama skateboard

*dead eyed and hollow, staring straight through the wall, slumped and monotone* im never puppy stressed. when i do my puppy best.

one elf cigarette, husbanded carefully, can burn for 3 or 4 human generations. my boy your great grandpappy bummed this ciggie from the leaf-crowned prince of the splendid dales and it has burned on the mantle of our house ever since. on your 14th nameday, my son, you will puff it at last, and become a man

you probably thought today was a normal Monday. nooooope. strong as fuck ice mummy again, sorry.

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

"how did you get into writing" girl i've been tormented by the visions since i was eight years old

Cartoon smartphone with devil horns and an evil grin: Well, well, well, look who's tipsy. Better use one of my rideshare apps, drunkie. Those taxi driver unions aren't gonna bust themselves! Ha ha!!

Cartoon beer can with little angel wings and a halo appearing above my shoulder as I start my car: Hi! I'm Roadie, the Road Beer! Wanna play a fun game? It's called "drink me all up before you drive past the elementary school"!

Muffled voice coming from my glove box: Uh oh, looks like we're getting pulled over! You're gonna be real glad I decided to come along!

misclicked on a bunch of shit in quick succession and was met with a somewhat harrowing prompt

i've never actually watched a full episode of it's always sunny but from what I understand, charlie's purpose in the show is this

"Gee whiz! My new neighbor’s just radiating with charm!" (wip)

in the club freakin it in a sensitive style

29.10.23

(This post)

you better start believing in the scatman's world... you're living in it