🤍CHONNY🖤

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

i feel like i should’ve added more context when i posted this. my grandparents live in a rural area where farmers and casual gardeners alike are, at this point in the year, suddenly being hit with unexpectedly abundant zucchini crops. there aren’t just some random vandals leaving zucchinis in people’s cars for the hell of it, this is the work of some very exasperated, probably very elderly, folks who have more zucchini than they know what to do with

Yep. You can also expect to find a bag of zucchini on your porch.

My grandfather once found his neighbor stealing his tomatoes out of his garden at three in the morning. Red-handed, with a basket of the nearly-ripened ones.  He thought he was going to find gophers or something, but no, here’s Henry, taking his tomatoes. The best ones.

There was a long pause between them.

My grandfather (allegedly) said, “Henry… it’s OK.  You can take some tomatoes if you want them.”

Henry sighed in relief.

“But,” my grandfather said, “you have to take two zucchini for every tomato.”

There was another long silence.  “That’s a harsh bargain, John,” said Henry.  “But I accept.  I’ll tell Joe up the street, too.”

My grandfather said, “Tell Joe he needs to take three.”

a friend of my dad’s came by in the middle of the night, he seemed very nervous when my dad answered the door. he wouldn’t come inside but he leaned in and whispered to my dad in spanish, “i have some fresh grapes for you.” and then this happened:

the melon was a special bonus.

MY DREAM

A friend of mine lives in a rural area and he has been surrounded by zucchini for most of May, June, and July.

At one point he was so done with the whole zucchini madness that he came to classes actively begging people to “Please please please!! Take some my family’s damned zucchini!! I’ve been eating zucchini for weeks!! I’m going insane!!!”

Having grown up in a rural area and having come home to zucchini on the front step or in the mailbox, i find it highly amusing the OP had to clarify.  I’m sitting here nodding “yup.”

I have a friend with a garden in Oregon who literally made Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies and sent them to me in Indiana. I texted her back “I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE”

I’m waiting for the day when someone will hear about my background in Botany and ask me for advice on what someone who’s just wanting to start exploring planting vegetables should try.

I know fuckall about gardening because my background is wild plants and not agriculture, but I’m gonna tell them

“Zucchini. Definitely try Zucchini. Just plant plenty of them and you’ll get a decent sized crop! They’re very rewarding to grow.”

It may be a bit of a long game, but I’ll enjoy their screams of despair from across the void as they realize that they will eat zucchini forever

This is NOT an exaggeration, guys. Zucchini (and most squashes, really) will outgrow you so fast. Let our tale be a caution– or an encouragement, whichever. You decide as you hear the story of Squish.

When we were so broke we had to choose between gas and store-bought-food (I think I was about 10?), we had a garden so we could eat regularly (we also had chickens and pigs and hunted, but that’s beside this point). One summer, we planted 6 rows of yellow squash and 6 rows of zucchini. Each row probably had 10, maybe 12 plants in it. We created this giant squash-block in our garden plot so it was all right there together in the middle, and the needier plants like tomatoes were on the outside of the whole plot. We thought we were clever, til the first crop started coming in.

The outside two rows of each squash, yellow and zucchini, were normal. High yield, of course (because squash), but standard size for both summer squash and Italian zucchini. The inner 8 rows, however, created this hybrid monstrosity that we called Squish. It was pretty– a nice swirly yellow and green combination that made it clear the squash and zucchini had interbred.

Squish became a living nightmare for us. Something about the hybridization caused them to forget how to stop growing, or at least how to grow at a normal rate because those suckers were longer than my dad’s forearm, and bigger around than my (albeit child-sized) thighs. They didn’t get all hard and nasty on the inside, either, for some reason, like most squash will at that size. And they just kept coming. I don’t even remember seeing that many flowers, but every day we were pulling upwards of 20lbs of Squish out of the garden, only for there to be more the next day, or sometimes by the end of the day if we harvested in the morning. I don’t know where they were hiding, but it was like some sort of squash portal had opened into our yard and started crapping out Frankenstein’s Squashes.

At first, it was great. We could eat all we wanted and not worry about rationing it. But the growing season in Arkansas is long, and we had incredible weather that summer, so those darn things kept alternating flowers and fruit. Pull off a few Squish, new flowers budded out, and they ripened super-fast in the heat. We were absolutely swimming in Squish, because they were so big that even gorging on them meant only 1 or 2 got eaten per meal. (I think I recall using a few particularly enormous ones as swords for a duel with my sister, if that says anything about their size. I cannot overemphasize how absolutely, heinously gigantic they were. You probably don’t believe me but I am not kidding. Those things were bigger than a newborn by several many inches and a couple pounds.)

We had (luckily) a big deep freezer, and someone gifted us a bunch of freezer ziploc bags, so we started chopping them up and freezing them as we pulled them off. We ran out of bags real fast, so we caved and bought a ton more. We filled that deep freezer near to bursting. It was probably 3-4 feet deep, (as I remember barely coming up to the edge of it), and at least 4-5 feet long, about 2.5 feet across, and we filled it to the top with Squish. And that’s while we’re eating fresh ones every day with dinner! But still more Squish came before the first frost, so we started packing the fridge. And my grandma’s freezer. And my grandma’s fridge. And feeding them to the pigs and chickens. And giving them away at church.

Do you realize how big a deal it is that people who were so broke that they had to choose between gas and the power bill were GIVING AWAY FOOD??? That’s how much gosh darn Squish we had. And little did I know, but apparently, my dad HATES squash. He only planted them because they were a cheap, quick source of food and my mom loved squashes. And he got stuck with the folly of his decisions. For over a year.

Yep. We had Squish in the freezer for over a year. Eating it regularly. It lasted for over a year. A family of 5, plus often feeding my grandmother, we ate off a single garden’s haul for over a year. Of just the Squish. I tell you, if we’d had a farmer’s market back then, that Squish could probably have single-handedly lifted us out of poverty. Well, maybe not, but you get the idea.

We never planted both again, probably because my dad would have combusted out of rage if he’d ever seen another Squish in his life. But man those were the days for thems of us what loved squash.

So survival tip: If you need an absolute crapton of food, plant you a row of yellow squash and a row of zucchini, and keep that pattern going for as many rows as you like. You too can drown in Squish and love it.

Oh wow.

The last story is well worth the read. It might be long but I found it absolutely delightful! Thank you for sharing your childhood Squish gardening adventures!

Meanwhile, people are starving to death.

Ands What do you expect poor rural farmers who just have excess zucchini to do about that exactly? Mail them to Africa?

I was just talking to a friend today about gardening and she said “I’ll plant zucchini for this project.”

“Oh dear… what’s your damage control plan?”

“Oh,” she said, intuiting what I meant. “Eating the blossoms. Love stuffed blossoms. Pumpkin, squash, zucchini. It keeps the crop down, and you get lots of mileage out of them. You keep a mixed crop that way, too. Plus, people don’t always welcome gifts of zucchini, but they find gifts of blossoms exciting.”

This struck me as absolutely game-changing.

My problem is that I legitimately love zucchini. “Lizard,” you ask, “why is that a problem? Just eat the zucchini!” The problem is that in the middle of the growing season, there will be a point where I physically can not consume enough zucchini to keep up with what the plants are producing. It does not matter how much I chop, freeze, fry, bake, etc– there will always be a point where I have more zucchini than I have time in the day to do something with that zucchini.

But eventually it runs out. Like summer, it’s as intense as it is fleeting and come November I want for some zucchini fried with onions. By January, when I’m planning out the spring garden, there’s always that thought, that voice of hubris whispering in my ear… “maybe I should grow more zucchini?”

Children, it is a trap.

It’s getting on planting season so this is your annual reminder to ignore the siren song of zucchini.

Honestly, this is all just making this toy want to do this more. Think of the $$$ BIG $AVING$ $$$!!!!! Unfortunately, we do not have a yard to plant crops in at this apartment. Oh well, perhaps when we move.

dialtown fanart :>

Trans Lives Matter

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I celebrate our courage, resilience, and authenticity.i uplift trans voices, honor trans experiences, and commit to building a world where everyone can thrive as our true selves.

To my trans siblings: You are seen, you are valued, and you are loved.

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autistic power couple

There's a toxic person who genuinely emotionally tortured me for a couple weeks that I strongly, strongly dislike who draws super peak dialtown fanart as well as dsaf fanart, and has a parody account on twt, which is how he met me. I'm worried now that we dont talk he'll move onto somebody else and do the same. I genuinely live in fear of this happening. This person also has over 8k subs on Youtube because of fucking course things couldn't be easy lmao.

I would so totally out who this person is but considering he threatened to kill himself multiple times and outright had attempts a few times whilst in contact with me, I literally can't. It sucks but like. Yeah.

Just... Know that one day you'll come across a really, really good Randy x Gingi fanart, and you'll never even know it was made by somebody who ruined my emotional state to the point I honestly don't think I'll be able to recover 💀

.... Ugh. Damn it. He's popular and well liked and I'm a complete nobody so regardless of the fact I screenshotted literally everything, it... kinda just doesn't matter, does it. Idk. The only reason I'm hesitating until I know for sure people care is bc I don't wanna do this unless I know for certain it'll have SOME effect other than just making him emotionally destroy me again/possibly harm himself. I want to be heard and I don't think him having an audience is safe in the slightest considering he severely emotionally abused a pretty badly disabled person (me) to the point I had seizures and almost ended myself too, but... like... it's not worth me dying over it if nobody will even hear me.

The person is Milkasdemon. This is his channel. Here's a link to the post I made on twt regarding him as well.

I wasn't going to come out about it fully until I learned that he was a pedophile. But he is. He got nsfw content off a 13 year old boy and he has maintained his fandom ever since because my audience is so utterly tiny that I have no outreach.

He abused me mentally and a little bit sexually and he abused a child in the same ways. I don't know what I expect to come out of this. I need people to leave comments on his channel n shit calling him out or something but I just don't have a big enough following.

He deletes all the comments I leave so fast. I'm trying so hard to do something, ANYTHING about him and I just can't make a dent in his audience despite what he did to that poor little boy

That poor kid has to live with what he did and all I can do is throw down a tumblr post to plead for the public to help me here. Please god. Help me before he hurts somebody else.

I haven't been able to sleep. I've stopped eating again and my mental and physical health declined so much I almost lost my life multiple times. I've been having more seizures due to the stress. I am genuinely beginning to believe this situation will kill me. I feel so powerless to protect his young fans, to protect MYSELF as I learned he lied about me to people in order to portray me as a narcissist and liar. I'm also fairly sure he spent some time sending me anonymous hate on my strawpage but obviously that could be literally anyone.

I don't like dragging drama here. But this isn't drama. This is a child predator getting away with what he's done because the only person who can do anything about it is a 19 year old girl with a severe brain injury and no audience.

(The pedophile's channel. Please leave comments if at all possible calling him out for the stuff in the thread. Do not allow him to get away with it. If you want to help, warn people as much as possible. I don't know how to make videos for stuff like this or I'd make a fallout video. As I said I am one single disabled person with no audience)

https://youtube.com/@milkasdemon?si=MDedjSDVg7k3sExM

(Thread by me, doccumenting his behaviour. It grows as he does more shit and refuses to take accountability.)

https://x.com/RandyJadee/status/1881262934380433448?t=RPOBy4HC8c_Ukz58cRwJxw&s=19

It'll never happen (understandably so)

But if you ever dropped plushies of him, living would suddenly be 90% more bearable. Absolute favourite character. Dear god, he's just like me fr. (pun absolutely intended)

Apologising both here and in the tags if this is cringe or a "dude wtf" moment, considering who the character is very visibly based on, but holy fuck. You made a concept so incredibly relatable that my pathetic wet cat self sobbed over him 6 SEPARATE TIMES IN ONE WEEK. That's good writing, man!

Regardless, as an author, I applaud you and I appreciate everything you're making. I will have 3 Randy plushies soon as I just caved and bought the new one, too 😭. In everything you make, you have managed to make me feel genuine emotion, and that is something to be proud of.

[ DIALTOWN TAROT 🔮🃏 ]

Project featuring 22 artists. Hosted by @cyclorose ; game created by @directdogman

This was my first time doing a big project like this, and I'm so happy that it went really smooth. Everyone has done a good job and the cards look fantastic, I'm proud of everyone :)

🎶 Music credits:

Happy Valentine's day & Dialtown's 3rd Anniversary! 🩷

🔽 CARDS BELOW CUT 🔽

dsaf 2 perfect route be like

as a randy enjoyer youre close its more like seeing a kitten on the side of the road thats been run over by 4 cars and NEEDING to bring that thing to a vet NOW