"what if someone's faking-" WHO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAREEEEEEEEEEEEEES LITERALLY WHO EVEN CAAAAAAAAAAAARES OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DUDE WHO EVEN CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO GIVES A FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

i love writing porn and i wont feel bad about it. understanding the eroticism of a character is character analysis if u are enlightened.

i love you porn i love you smut i love you intricacies of human sexuality i love erotica i love you freak nasty walls of texts i love you analyzing the subconscious through the lens of sexuality i love you bdsm i love you weird fetishes . u move me

granted i havent read lotr since i was 13 but the way legolas joins the fellowship always cracks me up, like hes literally a prince but they sent him as a messenger to basically tell the council like "whoopsiedoodles we fucked up and gollum is gone, that's what you get for entrusting him to the party elves of mirkwood you know how we get" and he feels SO bad he joins this super deadly quest like imagine you're thranduil and you're like "hey son can you go to elrond's house and tell him we fucked up royally" and your son is like sure pops can do but then you don't hear from him for like two months so you call elrond like hey e-dog what's good have you seen my son. and elrond is like. well i dont know how to tell you this but he went on a homoerotic voyage to the most dangerous place on earth. id be so mad

This guy alone just filled my "live your life with passion" quota for the year.

Funniest thing is the quick "settle down mate" and the dip into the Australian accent as he gushes over how pretty it is.

Knowing herpetologists: literally every one of them under 40 was influenced by Steve Irwin. The Austrailian accent and repetition of Irwinesque phrases (what a beauty, look at the size of this fella) is involuntary but an important part of the snake catching ritual.

Baby potato

I bet it feels good as fuuuuck to slightly draw your sword with all the other knights in anger when a treacherous knave shows their face in the court

worst part about the Internet is knowing that there are finally people who both match and complement your freak. the nearest one is 2,318.4 miles away and your time zones are awkward

living in a place where your water is supplied by aquifer is really funny

you WILL have clean, naturally filtered water you can drink straight from the tap even in times of severe drought. but!

every single faucet in the county is constantly trying to form a limestone stalagtite

thinking again about vampirism as disability

what if you slept all day and woke at night, lonely and frustrated. what if you couldn't go to social events, or even mundane public spaces like stores. what if you couldn't see the sun. what if you couldn't go to the pool, or the beach, or the creek. what if you couldn't eat what everyone else is eating. what if you couldn't eat at all. what if your basic needs came at the cost of your loved ones' quality of life. what if you became agitated, confused, maybe even violent if your needs weren't met. what if people blamed your behavior on demons, or worse, your own inherent evil. what if people saw you as a threat to your own community. what if the default response to your suffering was either indifference or violence. what if people thought you were better off dead, that you no longer count as human, that they're doing you a favor by letting you disappear. what if people assumed you must somehow deserve all of this. what about that.

started playing thunderstorm sounds from YouTube at night. it is frustratingly effective

pros: falling asleep quicker

cons: having nightmares of storms

thank you for your recommendation! with brief consideration, it has been disregarded.

my familys cats are outdoors now, I can't do anything about it, and i was looking up whether putting bells on them would help keep them from killing birds, and amidst the articles and studies that were like "yeah putting a bell on the cat could reduce their prey catching ability by 30-40%" there were a bunch of articles like "RAAAH bells do nothing bells don't work the ONLY thing that will work is keeping your cat indoors ONLY"

So much for harm reduction huh

ive seen the indoor cat advocates getting more and more impatient and aggressive as well and this is only going to hurt instead of help

people don't change their minds cause a condescending stranger yelled at them and called them names

ugh

it's been nice to draw him again