heya tom it's bob from the office down the hall

Sophia, the Boston woman from 1875 who haunts a lamp I got at Brimfield: what is a stay at home girlfriend, if you please?

me: well, it's a woman who's financially supported by the man she's dating, and she lives with him and usually keeps house and cooks for him

her: and they're not married?

me: well, no; hence "girlfriend" rather than "wife." I know that may alarm y-

her: oh calm down I know about Kept Women. he has no legal tie to her, though? she has no sort of standing with him in the eyes of the law? only his word that he'll follow through?

me: yes

her: and remind me again- you don't have to be financially dependent on a man anymore, right? there are more than like three careers open to women that will let you support yourself at a decent level now? and society isn't pressuring you 24/7 to get married and stop working outside the home?

me: yes

her: so these women. CHOOSE to be dependent on a man. who could leave them at any moment without legal consequence. because they don't like their jobs. the jobs, while imperfect, that let them live on their own, answerable to no-one

me: yes

her: that had better be some absolutely amazing jewelry they can pawn off if he leaves them, then

me: it's usually not

her: THERE'S NOT EVEN SECURITY JEWELRY?!

me: oh by the way they blame feminism for "having to work"

her:

her: I became fully dependent on my in-laws who hated me, after my husband died two years into our marriage, because I was a 23-year-old orphan with no marketable skills in any avenue besides Running A Household and the only men left unmarried in my social circle were widowers thirty years my senior. I also couldn't establish lines of credit as a widow because the merchants said my husband dying so soon meant that I didn't have stable enough income. and that was entirely legal

me: yeah

her: I'm going to go slam some doors please do not bother me

Stop giving men the ability to ruin your life 2k25

Not the point of this post but I'm endlessly amused that Tumblr has rediscovered ghosts as a cultural metaphor for confronting the horrors of the present through the lens of the past in meme format. The essays I could write-

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

grandmas love to have complexes

Are we just ignoring the person that got hit by an electrical blast

She’s just doing it for attention

my ex’s grandmother did that with black standard poodles she named Precious and told no one that they were different dogs until one of her sons came by one day and noticed that Precious had suddenly become a puppy after 30 years

so she didn’t actually replace him with puppies bc that would be too obvious, she got younger dogs who were still old enough to pass as the previous dog and she had a habit of giving the dog makeovers (dying his grey hairs back to black , painting his nails etc bc “it’s good for his self esteem”) which made it less obvious when an older greying dog was replaced with a younger model. my uncle figures it out bc he moved back in with her to help take care of her and she couldn’t keep it from him when the dog switch happened

YOU DIDN’T TELL ME ABOUT THE DOG MAKEOVERS FHSHSH

Beste-glatisant’s ex got them with an electrical blast as well. Shocking post. Absolutely shocking. Stop reblogging to contain the voltage

Flshshfldlshdjkdkdjfhdhdfh

OK can someone call an electrician? I don’t think this post is up to code.

There's nothing funnier to me than the Pevensies splitting the throne 4 ways.

"Yeah, Peter, you can be monarch, but you've gotta share it with your sister and your sister and your brother."

"Did you bring enough seats for the whole class?"

two sons of adam, two daughters of eve - and everyone keeps quiet about the two nonbinary kids of lilith and their weird posture thrones

Update from the man himself

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’

What’s the answer?

The answer is “no”, with the side note of “when asking a list of random colleges for an honorary degree, be sure to research them better, because a white guy who got famous on pornhub accidentally asking a black women’s college to give him a degree for doing nothing gets awkward really fast”

I wish there was some clear, efficient and polite way to express "please do not suggest any ideas that specifically circumvent the limitations that I have just specified". Like if someone says that they don't want kids, and on top of that clarifies that they can't have kids anyhow, it's not clever, productive or useful to go "oh, but you could always adopt! :)" without knowing whether they even could if they wanted to.

Because sometimes people who can't have biological children, and do not want any children, also are not mentally, physically, or financially eligible to adopt them. Also if someone gives you advice that specifically circumvents the limits you just dictated, and then gets upset and insulted when you shoot down their suggestions of how they think you could still do the thing that you can't, won't, and wouldn't want to do, it should be socially acceptable to just grab the nearest blunt object and beat them with it.

House md is such a trip because House and Wilson are standing cock to cock, tip to tip, packer to packer, emotionally and physically. House's employees have a polyamorous codependent relationship while also being at each other's throats constantly. Foreman's so represssed they think he's gay, Chase is so sexually active that he can't possibly be straight, Taub and Kutner scissored, Cameron's probably gay but she has a job to do so she isn't going to think about it too hard, Thirteen is bisexual and went to jail once. Everyone has used drugs recreationally at least once. They break into everyone's home then insult the state of their home and then diagnose the patient based on a "That's so Raven" vision that House has. They shouldn't have been doctors, they would all thrive better as Waffle house employees that leap over the counter to fight customers.

HouseMD waffle house AU

Somebody write this stat

In honor of Dracula daily starting (somewhat) soon, here are three lists to help people understand how modern the novel Dracula is.

(this is because I can see from adaptations, general vampire media, and vampire posts across the internet that some people really don't know how recent of a book it was)

List 1---Things that were invented before Dracula was published in 1897:

List 2---Events that happened before Dracula was published in 1897:

List 3---Things that happened less than ten years after Dracula was published in 1897:

(Bonus!!) Other fun facts of this nature:

SOMEONE HAS BEATEN MINECRAFT IN UNDER A MINUTE

I REPEAT. SOMEONE HAS BEATEN MINECRAFT IN UNDER A MINUTE

this is actually set seed glitchless, you’re thinking of random seed glitchless (which the wr for is actually 7 min 45 sec)! this basically means that they know everything about the seed going in and are picking the most perfect seed. (the previous set seed record was 1 min 47 sec)

also this record uses a really cool strat where it uses the dragons velocity against itself and if you line things up perfectly you’re able to kill the dragon with a single shot of an arrow!

here is the video!

if you've ever been launched into the void off the top of a pillar by the ender dragon before, you know that the dragon tends to fling things around like crazy. this is because it's center hitbox wants to push objects away really fast, proportional to how close it is to the center.

if you fire an arrow at the exact perfect spot (I'm talking insanely perfect - pixel and frame dependent, as well as needing the correct rng for the dragon's flight path) then you can exploit this to have the arrow be launched at incredible speeds directly into the dragon's hurtbox.

arrows in minecraft calculate their damage based on velocity. that's why barely charging a bow does very weak damage, while fully charging a bow does much more. however, there isn't a cap on this damage. you can theoretically one shot anything in the game no matter how strong, as long as you can get the arrow to travel fast enough. and that's exactly what happens here.

the final minute barrier being broken for ssg just shows how much dedication and commitment and knowledge and willpower the entire minecraft speedrunning community has.

for more info, you can actually exploit this in a normal survival world if you plan to beat the dragon more than once! this will work in survival, but will need to be placed further or closer away depending on your render and simulation distance. it may not work on paper servers, but works in an unmodified game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE1Y5zASsIs

this is a real deleted scene from revenge of the sith

HOW IS THIS REAL

IM GOING TO FUCKING CRY

anakin: hey obi wan guess what *makes beeping sound* obi wan, scared: how the fuck are you doing that with your mouth

Amazing how phone apps work these days. Accidentally fucked up on trying to check whether the nearest store in 5 min walking distance has a specific product, thought that there would be some sort of a "confirm payment" thing before it's too late, but instead fucked up and lost 9 euros to getting one single fucking thing delivered. The fucking delivery cost more than the product and I could not even cancel it because the confirmation e-mail didn't have a link where to fucking cancel it.

I am going to kill everyone in this room including myself.

Eight days ago I managed to convince two psychiatric professionals that I am mentally sound and functional, and in control of my life.

Intentionally, or no?

Intentionally. I used all of my "managing to successfully do things on purpose" points on that one appointment I guess.

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

(Via @morganpdf )

Better than dead rats

Cayce was trained as a painter, but wanted to start a non-toxic studio - so she turned to embroidery, something she enjoyed as a child.

One day she turned a portrait around and realized how interesting the backside was. So she started displaying them that way as well.

Then she ventured back into painting, where she recreated the look of the backwards portraits with gouaches and acrylics.

Source