Bigfoot Is My Girlfriend

HE BROKE THE RECORD

Senator Cory Booker just broke the all-time record for the longest Senate floor speech, speaking for over 24 hours without a pause (no food, no bathroom breaks, only water to drink) as a protest against Trump and Musk and what they're doing.

The previous record was set in 1957, when Strom Thurmond spoke for 24 hours and 18 minutes protesting the Civil Rights Act.

Senator Booker has blown past that record, currently at 25 hours and still speaking as of 8 pm local time. Respect.

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

i wisely turned off the notes on this when it was at 700 but oh my god stop telling me what you "just" use it for in the notes shut the fuck up shut the fuck up I AM NOT A CATHOLIC PRIEST, I DO NOT ABSOLVE YOU. WRITE YOUR OWN EMAILS.

[person 500 years ago knitting a sock] O Sister Margaret, regale me again with the tale of Vicar Wesley's scandalous elopement with the baker's daughter!

[me today knitting a sock] O Youtuber Hbomberguy, regale me again with the tale of SHERLOCK IS GARBAGE, AND HERE'S WHY

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

pacific rim fucks severely for a lot of reasons but my favorite is that it opens with "the lizard aliens are unionizing so we built robots running on the power of love to fight them you got all that right" and before you have time to really process that concept bam gunshot body on the floor and the movie goes "now consider the vast power of grief in this setup" it never really stops considering

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

i fully 100% believe that dick grayson could live a long and happy life in a relationship with like 10-20 different people. i enjoy every dickie g/whoever post that crosses my dashbort and i like thinking about every one of them and he would be very genuinely truly happy with them! But in my heart of hearts the person who i personally believe is The Best For Him has always been and will always be Kori.

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

Skibidi die.

idk. too many people drive like they don’t realize (or care) that they could die and/or kill someone. as a result of the way they are driving. sorry if i sound lame or ancient i just feel insane witnessing the lack of concern on a regular basis. The vehicle you are in is thousands of pounds going many miles an hour. do you know this

seeing people drive erratically then pulling up next to them and they’re on that goddamn cell phone…. i’m going to reach over and snatch that thing. and eat it

Rebecca Sugar cooked with "Character whose entire existence is devoted to the service of another character who's now dead and now they have no idea what to do with themselves except live." I love that shit. I forged myself into a tool for you and now you're gone. I'm sniffing this like a bloodhound

"I swore I'd die for you but now you're dead and I have no conception of what it's like to live outside of my devotion to you but now I've no choice but to learn" is already so delicious. But giving that character "Fumbled a BBW and now has to raise her kid" is so much better. There's umami in this

women’s bodies weren’t “made” to do anything, nature didn’t “intend” anything, no human action is “unnatural” and there is no inherent “purpose” to a human life

people weren’t designed to do anything because they weren’t designed at all. Hope this helps 🤩

by calling it "time theft", the state created a crime that sounds even cooler than simply dicking around while on the clock, something which is already incredibly cool

Guy writing professor/student porn because it's their kink, but repeatedly emphasizing that the student went to uni late and is a freshman at 37, because age gaps are problematic

Guy whose kink is murky power differentials writing about an older student with a younger professor and adding increasingly complex factors as the plot progresses until the student was actually the professor's prior supervisor and also the professor is the student's father in law