Owls & Oaths

Slipping estrogen into your boss's coffee might sound cathartic, but if you unionize your workplace then you won't even have to slip it in his coffee. You'll be able to openly demand that he take estrogen. That's the power of collective bargaining.

nothing makes me feel more well adjusted than hearing about the problems that straight people in the periphery of my life are always having

my aunt's new guy broke into my ex uncle's garage and filled his bowling balls with caulk

He's right tho

Sent this to my brother and he said "anyone who's heard of Margaret Thatcher can define a negative cow" and I needed to share that with you

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

I want everyone who’s unearthed this after 5 years to reblog it and say “lmao me” to know that getting divorced from this person was one of the best decisions of my life

I enjoy how we talk about ill-conceived cross promotions in major video game franchises like they're wacky hypothetical scenarios as though the original PS1 release of Parasite Eve II didn't have you restoring magic points by drinking Coca Cola way back in 1999.

If you aren't already familiar with it you will be very surprised to learn what this game is a paid advertisement for.

...

What?

My go-to ill-conceived-product-placement is the Energizer batteries in the original Alan Wake. To this day, I’m amazed that anyone thought “this game where a flashlight lasts approximately 2 minutes with a fresh set of batteries would be a perfect place for our batteries to be, in fact, the only batteries”

i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

anyway

crime frankenstein, without a doubt. next question

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

from my sources adjacent to tumblr--from which i can spread rumors and insider information freely because i dont give a fuck about ever working in the tech sector--im hearing this round of firings was focused on purging the senior staff, and not just from support but from the entire remaining tumblr workforce. i'm hearing there are about 25 people left.

If this is truly the beginning of the end, it's been an honour 🫡

In solidarity with tumblr staff also forgetting, localairport will not host an April 1st post.

Oh apparently the joke was firing half your staff just after April Fools. Good one Tumblr.

Due to increased demand, hammers are now 97.99 at the duty free shop.

i have a job interview in 2 minutes i’m gonna cry

this is what i saw immediately after leaving the interview. do you guys think it’s a good omen

You have to choose a new animal to exist on earth right now but it HAS to be both as aggressive and dangerous to humans as a hippopotamus.

Tree krakens have been in the lead but concussiadillos are catching up, it's anyone's race

Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

Some of you guys don't even realise I don't mean setting a CD on fire

sorry for shooting your dog with a crossbow you have to understand Im american our education system is in the gutter most of us were never taught that killing peoples beloved pets with medieval projectile weaponry is wrong and we're all too burnt out to research it on our own time