i'm normal i swear

okay i know we all write jayvik vampire aus where viktor is the vampire, because have you seen his face, BUT

have we considered vampire piltover v human zaun where jayce is trying to invent a sufficient blood replacement for vampires to drink instead of killing zaunites, and viktor is an already anemic zaunite who immediately supports jayce's project the SECOND he hears about it because if one more of these literally bloodsucking bourgeois bitches tried to take away his already struggling red blood cells. let's just say jayce's apartment wouldn't be the only thing on fire

anyway so because they need blood to test and he's a good friend, jayce talis becomes the first ever vampire to decide he maybe likes getting bit. this isn't bc nobody else has tried it, jayce is just weird

the biggest roadblock in writing jayvik fics is that magic saved jayce's life and if you're writing an au you can't just. skip that

like if magic never saved him or his mom he wouldn't be obsessed with it to the point of destroying the world that one time, because without any frfr evidence that it could be good or helpful he'd just be breaking the law because. the wizard is the reason for jayce's obsession so any au that replaces jayce's hextech project with smth else needs to also replace the wizard with smth else, and you also need to come up with a reason for shit to go bad and for viktor to do the "am i interrupting?" scene

lawyer au? yeah, sure, easy, him and his mom got into some crime-related conflict and a lawyer brought justice or whatever, so jayce got super inspired and decided to become a lawyer when he grew up.

cowboy au? uh, sure that’s a bit harder but we can still do it. maybe a horseback rider picked up him and his mom when they were lost in the wild, or a cowboy saved them from a stampede or something

popstar au? ariana grande administered cpr when jayce almost drowned what the fuck do you want from me

i know i never make lyric posts but i was relistening to PAFL and. never before in my life have i heard such a jayvik song

this song came out prior to season 2 and is entirely unrelated to arcane, but i think ferry is a jayvik prophet actually

the song on spotify

i don’t get how everyone talks about “possessive jayce” and “obsessive jayce” and uses the post hexyoghurt breakup scene as proof when like. jayce had the most NORMAL reaction to that shit

respectfully guys he almost got assassinated like a week ago and just found out that his nonconsensual necromancy WORKED and now his boyfriend is back from the grave and taller and purpler, what do you expect him to say when said freshly-not-dead boyfriend immediately dumps him?

“oh i’m sorry you feel that way, viktor. i treasured our time together and i hope the same goes for you too. would you like me to get your belongings from my apartment before you ride off into the distance with your purple asscheeks hanging out?”

i actually love the whole "naming your kids after your dead loved ones" trope for arcane because its wildly different between ships

like when jayce and viktor have a kid all they have to do is like. name it sky or heimerdinger or maybe cassandra if they feel like it

for caitlyn and vi it means every time they scold their kid they have to yell "POWDER CLAGGOR-MYLO-VANDER-CASSANDRA-ISHA-LORIS-VANDER-FOR-THE-SECOND-TIME-JAYCE-JINX KIRAMMAN YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW"

i always see people look at jayvik and go “omg he’s so hot you know all his classmates had crushes on him” LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER! WRONG!

literally everyone at the academy didn’t wanna talk to jayce because he constantly had that energy of “autistic guy who REALLY wants to tell you about his special interest” but because his special interest was illegal he would just never mention it and instead stand in the corner at parties and if you tried to talk to him he wouldn’t respond properly because he’s busy thinking of hextech, but again, illegal, so he just wouldn’t pay attention to you and if you asked why he would stare blankly at you and say “huh? oh sorry continue”

viktor is even WORSE at parties but his lack of bitches was more due to classism and not personality defects. despite that, when jayce and viktor got together everyone at the academy breathed a collective sigh of relief that their two least eligible bachelors were finally taken OFF the market for good, and only at the price of like 2 explosions

so many small things about arcane season 2 bother me, but one of the biggest is how sky was treated.

like i'm not even saying she shouldn't've died but it would've been so easy and made more sense for everyone involved if viktor had said "it killed sky, jayce. she had such dreams..." and jayce said "you told me she quit?" instead of just muttering "no" and then saying "anyway i quit politics btw can we stay lab married forever <3"

like. listen you can think jayce is an asshole and that he never cared about sky, that's your choice, but even if you do think that you still need to understand how out of character that scene was. for jayce, who has been shown to cope VERY poorly with loss of human life and who would at the very least be SURPRISED, and for viktor because aint no way someone dissolved in his lab and he didn't even come up with an alibi. sky had a job! she couldnt just disappear with no explanation! viktor is her boss & he would be the first guy they ask! what, did they ask him "hey viktor where is sky and why is the floor covered in dust" and he TOLD THE TRUTH?????

seriously, NO POSSIBILITIES for that scene make sense. if you're gonna kill off another black woman for a white guy's character development, at least write it half decently.

btw viktor was absolutely lying to jayce about zaun for fun

like. during that 6 year timeskip he was telling jayce the most ridiculous small lies about life in zaun and jayce was believing him wholeheartedly. like not major lies nothing that would ever come up outside of the lab but just silly things that viktor delights in seeing jayce take seriously, like telling him that giving someone a bloody handkerchief is considered a courtship gift, or that zaunite funerals involve shaving the corpse's head

and eventually jayce meets more zaunites like vi and sky but it's not like he mentions these things viktor's told him, so they mostly go uncorrected, and if they notice that jayce has some Weird Ideas about zaun they just chalk it up to regular piltie bigotry and not that there's a zaunite spreading misinformation to him for fun

anyway this all comes to a head in the shimmer factory when jayce is mourning that child he shot and he very solemnly turns to vi and says "do you wanna shave his head or should i?"

the fun thing about the theoretical caitvi/jayvik/timebomb friend group is that all the funny stories they tell at game night would serve only to make jayce and viktor look like losers (which they are)

"...and then vi showed up to the date entirely soaked in blood!"

"hey, at least she didn't get soaked in blood during the date like jinx did last week. and the week before that. and the week before that."

"y'know viktor got a papercut during a date once"

i love to imagine jayvik going to those rich piltie parties together to get investors for hextech because you KNOW viktor wasn't tolerating any of that shit.

every time he got into a conversation that annoyed him he said "wow my leg hurts i should go sit down". every time he thought someone was hitting on jayce he would stand next to him and cough loudly, and if he REALLY didn't like them he had a separate pre-covered-in-blood handkerchief that he would pull out to get away instantly. one time salo tried to talk to him and he fell to the floor yelling "OH NO MY ANKLE GAVE OUT" within 3 seconds of the interaction

you don't even wanna IMAGINE how bad he was at the distinguished innovators afterparty

i think that instead of fighting 24/7 about the whole "viktor hates mel" thing mel and viktor fans should instead adopt "viktor and mel are reality tv style frenemies"

like they have catty fights and shittalk eachother regularly but when jayce tries to talk to them to get them to make up or whatever and they individually (without having ever discussed this together) explain to him that the beef isn't real and they're just being haters for stress relief. they have very stressful jobs and if there isn't a beautiful person to hate on at the end of the day what is it all for

jayce is obviously very confused by this but he lets it happen because he knows that if they don't fight eachother he might catch a stray and he just wouldn't survive that magic bullet

caitjinx fic where jinx is a super famous popstar and activist and cait is a nepo baby actress hired to play jinx in her biopic, but jinx thinks cait's performance is HORRIBLE and the girl has clearly never done any chaos in her entire life, so they go on a bunch of definitely not dates where jinx explains how to do anarchism to the world's most uptight piltie and its all "for the role"

by time the movie premieres cait's performance as jinx is INCREDIBLE and she's been arrested like 12 times

guys i've got a new collection! it's called "times jayce talis really should've been crying but fortiche didn't let him"

for the record this is a writing flaw

one arcane fandom thing that's always bugged me (that has now become relevant again, thank you harry lloyd) is the whole "jayvik is canon because there's no platonic explanation for the finale scene"

because like. guys there IS a platonic explanation for it. platonic soulmates very much do exist and we shouldn't be acting like it's totally unthinkable for two people to be cosmically destined together without there being any romance involved

instead, jayvik is canon because there's no platonic explanation for THE COUNCIL FIGHT SCENE.

this is the stuff they invent slurs for