I've never been happier to be motion-sick.

barty likes to call reg pookie to annoy him

you can only reblog this today

Regulus: Does anyone have a flashlight?

James: You’re the only light I need.

Remus: James we can’t fucking see.

Part 2.5 Becsuse fuck tumblrs 10 picture limit

(Picture is album cover, btw)

Part two ⬇️

so sick i woke up unable to breathe teehee

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

— arealliveghost

jegulesbians as that ‘a boy who’s jacked and kind’ trend

Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers

Tips to starting a tumblr blog by a tumblr blog:

after a while the people and the website will choose what you are.

wait there was supposed to be planning before I just started saying silly things and reblogging spicy fanart??? no one told me.

Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers

Tips to starting a tumblr blog by a tumblr blog:

after a while the people and the website will choose what you are.

we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t autocorrect

i never knew there were men in the room for this, “that was tough” oh man they were not prepared XD

friendly reminder to check the reblog notes.

when you hit 26 your only options are kill yourself or keep on living . this also happens everyday

poem #3

thank you @essentialolive for the inspo quote

even though it was inspired by something someone else said this one is pretty personal

<3

i hate my head 

how she keeps chewing on it

i wish that she would just gnaw it off

all the way

so that i wouldn't feel her teeth

sinking into me