we’ll take it as it comes

What's always confused me was that… You know, he said those words to me, and he was already all burnt up. Figured I'd conflated the two events. But I didn't. Because it was you.

"I would say Louis has a puzzle that hasn’t been solved by a guy who spends his life getting the story. And I find one of the most interesting lines in the whole show is that I’m describing my former self and I say, “It’s a tale told to an idiot.” Well, who’s the idiot? That’s me. I’m calling myself an idiot. So, I’m calling my youthful self an idiot and I want to make up for that by going back and finding what had to be the greatest story I had ever investigated, but ineptly forty something years ago. I can easily imagine that. That comes up all the time in everyone’s life. I mean, it’s in its worst form. It’s like you get a Facebook account and you find that person you wanted to go out with in the ninth grade. You find them again, it turns out they will go out with you on a date and you’re willing to go and you’re just like, “Maybe this time I can get her to kiss me.” So maybe this time Louis will kiss me." Eric Bogosian (x)

He wanted to be swept away from everything he had once loved. He longed for Louis's violent and sensuous world. Evil. He was no longer afraid.

Listen as though I'm the voice of God or an angel talking to you, telling you this room doesn't matter, this night doesn't matter. You're not inconsequential, or a junkie. You're a bright, young reporter with a point of view. There are stories that need to be told. If things ever get bad again, these are the words you'll hear in your mind like a tape playing over and over. Like a song stuck in your brain, these words will hold you up and carry you. They are your lifeline.

So am I the first guy that you've brought back here?