wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

Y'all suspect af😂

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

I love learning.

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

ON MY DASH

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S ON MY DASH. ALSO JEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH MORE THEN 3 pigs

Always reblog

“Never trust anyone with more than 3 pigs” is the best thing I’ve ever read

on another note, I just remembered Roald Dahl wrote Lamb to the Slaughter (I read it in sophomore year)

Dummies.

Bury one (1) oyster in the yard for two weeks. Put it on the plate with a bunch of others, serve to victim.

There’s plenty of health risks when it comes to eating raw seafood- No one will bat an eye.

World Heritage Post

Six years later, my dumb ass realizes I never said you also have to pull at least some of the teeth to prevent a match to dental records.

@damnn-dorothea @hell-lit011019 @chammak-challo113 murder besties… Refreshment course.

@bulbourethralhand

“I am a writer,” he said as reblogged this post. Little did they know…

This reblogging chain shouldn’t stop… everyone should know HOW TO MURDER !! I repeat this reblogging chain shouldn’t STOP!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

1.1 MILLION NOTES JESUS CHRIST

I’m a writer guys

but for the record, make sure that after you have the body (keep burying it vertically in mind) dig really extra deep, bury it (vertically, mind you), fill it in until the body’s head is decently underground, then bury a dead pet or animal as well. After THAT plant endangered plants overtop. Then A) the freshly dug earth isn’t suspicious, B) it isn’t legal to dig up, C) IF a police dog finds it, they’ll unearth the dead animal not the person

@real-british-empire ever growing artifact? Also the animal thing doesn’t work, as it’s been done too many times and cadaver dogs are trained to recognize the difference in chemicals—

Yoink!

hey umm, very helpful.

I need this for writing purposes :)

My mom always says to rent a wood chipper and put the corpse through that before feeding it to someone’s hogs, then run a bunch of bleach and hydrogen peroxide through it before sending some actual wood through so you don’t look suspicious for renting a wood chipper

Eat the corpse.

And the weapon.

ah yes

America

Jackbox Animatic

[Art REPOST] (2024)

Made a two frame doodle animatic of a Spider using a raindrop as a hat while playing Jackbox :3 Isn't he cute?

Sooo.. I rewatched tmnt 2012 and put together pretty much all of the jonatello scenes I could find

Anyways, my thought process on some of the scenes or whatever under the cut

New Moon's first seconds of life be like

GUYS.. CHAT

LOOK WGAT MY IRL FRIEND JUST MADE ME, I AM FUCKING TWEAKING

I HAVE HIS HAT.. IM ACTUALLY SO HIM NOW.

I love the end bloopers SM 😭🙏🏽🙏🏽 (FIRST POST‼️‼️😋)

I found a VHS tape at the junk store, labeled just “A Surprise!”. Since I’d recently set up my VCR and old 80s TV, I thought I should check it out.

Just… just watch. 

My hand slipped

haiii sunnn :3333 o////

say hi guyss‼️‼️‼️

Imagine if doomed yaoi healed and go freaky

Text:

Shrimpo goob and sprout as requested by some various friends

Still don't like him but love his design