Reblogged anarchopuppy
Reblogged terrie01
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
wow if only you had a time machine
heotasy
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesn’t have to
But it should
Reblogged chungledown-bimothy
this is a typo in a textbook written by the professor of this class, it cost me $105, i will be sharing with the world
Reblogged tooquirkytolose
womens clothing sizing is based on how much the company wants you to kill yourself
thought autocomplete would take me to outlook dot com not realising id forgotten the T before i pressed enter. However was very much pleased at what it took me to instead. I think I don't want to see my emails now. I think I will stay with the oul.
ID: google search for "oul," spelled with a u. The result is a photo of an owl. ED
Reblogged tooquirkytolose
My favourite thing in the world is seeing folks act like real human beings around big celebrity personalities
Reblogged caspercryptid
YouGov did a whole official poll on Americans' views of the middle ages and I’m obsessed
I'm in the 9% of respondents who think that the black death was based
Reblogged gayteensupreme
Anonymous asked:
Been showing my mother some of your posts, we have both been enjoying your posts miss cock
my jaw hit the floor faster than Will Graham arched his back on the ladder l. YOUR MOM?
can you ask her if she will adopt me and my followers
Reblogged caspercryptid
neptuneking
I’m
The youth are lost
Not in a million years would I have ever thought of this
Reblogged casukaga
i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"
@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful
@holyknuckled like that?
oh? my god???
yeah, Exactly like that
Working at Home Depot, we find a lot of friends in Garden. Unfortunately, we don’t let them hitch a ride while we work, because we go inside a lot during spring and summer. Plus we have a couple customer service ladies that will “kill us” if we get within twenty feet of them with a critter. It’s their loss though, because we find lots of frogs and toads, my friend found what we think are male and female praying mantis with 30mins or so of each other last year, a giant snail (biggest we’ve ever seen in garden since I started 4yrs back) and a bee that needed a snack and warm sun.
Reblogged caspercryptid
"never kill yourself" is perhaps my favourite meme these days. there will always be joy in your future and you just need to stick it out to find it
Reblogged caspercryptid
Talking about the literacy crisis among men with other men is like eating a bowl of thumbtacks. Oh, so you recognize that the problem is that men don't like to read fiction anymore because it's seen as feminine and gay, and you think the solution is for publishers to stop meeting the demand currently being driven by women (the people reading fiction the most) rather than tell your sons and nephews that reading fiction isn't, in fact, gay.
And also that there is nothing lesser about being either gay or feminine.
Reblogged almostdefinitelydying
overheard these two guys talking and they're like. very obviously cowboys and one of them goes "man when I was young I used to think everyone had horses I didn't even know there were ppl w/o horses" and the other one goes "shows how horseified we are"
more dating advice:
- often times the thing a shy person needs to extend themselves a little and show you more of themselves is for you to extend yourself first, show yourself first, and make a safe staging ground for the shy person to emerge— which requires a certain amount of vulnerability and bravery on your part
- that vulnerability can be repulsive to people who find vulnerability triggering, but that repulsion isn’t a reflection of you or anything to do with you and encountering that repulsion shouldn’t be taken as discouragement or negative judgement
- most people who date don’t want to actually partner up with another human being and create a loving connected relationship with that person, they want to float in a sea of mostly positive feelings that make them feel better about their image of themselves
- being vulnerable and brave and real has the power to jerk those people out of the fantasy. it forces them to identify themselves (and to bail) and to stop wasting your time.
- other people experience great relief and warmth and increased connection upon encountering someone who can be real and can treat the relationship like it’s real
- those people provide a very good baseline to start an actual romantic relationship with.
- if left unchecked, your self-disgust and self-hatred will travel outwards to mold your partner in their image.
- your partner deserves better than to be recast without their consent as someone who agrees with what your meanest, nastiest internal voices have to say about you.
- your partner deserves better than to be objectified as a tool of your self-harm and self-derision; they are not there for you to use to tell cruel stories about yourself.
- your partner deserves to see their love seen and validated, they deserve your belief that they actually love you, throwing it back in their face that you don’t believe their love is even real is cruel.
- your partner is an animal in your care and part of caring for that animal means actively cultivating an environment where that animal’s needs can be met.
- you are part of that environment; you are not separate from it. you also require an environment where your needs can be met and your partner deserves to be part of that caretaking. get off of the pedestal and let your partner take care of you.