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@dolceterzo / dolceterzo.tumblr.com

anna. 30. uk. main; seatsbythepit 18+ content. MDNI. Header: @ghuleh-draws
"You should live life as effectively as possible because death is inevitable. And we can bicker all day about what death is and what it means, but we're not getting any smarter. It's a fun subject. I love talking about it, but I also hate talking about it because it's a great waste of energy and it does also make us feel bad at times, and scared. And since we really don't know what it is anyway, I think it's important to always speak more about life than death, because it's inevitable anyway." [x]
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thinking about copia looking after you when you have a headache. how he would notice the tension in your face before you even say a word. he'd catch you rubbing your temples with your eyes closed and, without making a fuss, disappear for a moment and return with a glass of water in one hand and a painkiller in the other. then he'd close the curtains, ease in beside you with a quiet, "vieni qui, amore," and encourage you to lay down with him. he won't ask if you're okay (he knows you're not), he'll just bring you into his arms, gentle fingers moving slow and careful along your back, or softly trailing through your hair, trying to ground you without overwhelming the ache.

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i think ghost has the potential to tell such a meaningful story about motherhood and what it means to repeat cycles of abuse and the insane expectations society has for mothers (esp. compared to fathers) that weigh women down and make them destined to fail, strip them of their own humanity in the process. at the same time it shows what it does to children, abuse and neglect from father (figures), the loss of safe family structures, mothers struggling to do right by their children, wanting the best for them but being unable to live up to the challenges, all your other jobs, working, taking care of others, taking care of yourself, the neglect of your own needs, having to decide what is best for your children, how to protect them, hard, impossible decisions. having to give children away because you know they deserve a better life, the consequences of it, what does it do to a child to feel unwanted by their parents? how dou you make sure they won't have to suffer through the same trauma you did? then sister, pregnant, seeing nihil with these other women, realising the man she loves is not fit to be a parent when it's too late. how do you live with those failings? can you ever make up for them or are your efforts meaningless? i am just so eager to read the rest of the comics.

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i'm having a lot of unholy thoughts about kneeling between that old monitor and the yellow couch doing unspeakable things to Copia while he rants for a few hours, reassure him that no one will ever be as good as him. really gets me going when he's a petty little hater in his neat little all-black designer outfit.

To lovely humans who were excluded from invitations, left behind when they tied their shoes, forced to walk in the grass when the sidewalk was full, spoken over when you tried to contribute, whispered about or laughed at, given side-eye when you tried to fit in…. you are so worthy of love.

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