all of you, all of me (intertwined)
Title from 'Daylight' by Taylor Swift.
Based on a request from Anonymous.
Losing the World Cup sucks. It really fucking sucks.
The Spanish players deserve it, of courseโthey were the better team, when it came down to itโand youโre glad to see them celebrate after so many months of turmoil and internal conflict, but it still feels like a punch in the gut when the second place medal is draped around your neck.
The days afterward are full of tears and regret, consolation and half-hearted pep talks that only end up making everyone feel a little worse. Sarina tries her best of course, but even she is struggling with the defeat; itโs evident in her eyes, just a little dimmer than they were before.
Lucy takes it harder than the rest of you. She feels like it was her fault, like the goal (which, admittedly, still stings to think about) could have been prevented if she hadnโt tried to make that run through the middle. Sheโs completely wrong, of course: itโs nobodyโs fault, and itโs everybodyโs fault and at the end of the day, it just really does not matter. You lost. Spain won. Nothing to do now but pick up the pieces and move on as best you all can.
Pretty much everyone has a good old cry about it before you leaveโAlessia and Mary both come to you separately, sniffling and teary-eyed, looking for a pair of friendly arms to hold them for a while, and you in turn go to Esme for some comfort. Itโs nice, the tall blonde defender rubbing your back and murmuring reassurances, but itโs not what you really want.
Unfortunately for you, your girlfriend is all the way on the other side of the world, starting the international leg of her tour. You couldnโt be prouder of her, truly; youโve told her as much almost annoyingly often, always met with a bashful smile and a blush from the woman you love.
But, selfishly, you wish she wasnโt so far away. All you want is to curl up in bed with her, have her stroke your hair and sing to you. You wish that she was the one comforting you (no offence to Esme, of course), the one telling you what a great job youโd done. You wish it so much you ache with it.
God, you miss her. Itโs been almost 2 months since you saw her in person, the longest youโve been apart since you started dating 3 years ago, and you miss her so goddamn much it hurts. You miss her eyes and her touch, the way she smiles when you say something silly. You miss the way her nose scrunches when you kiss her forehead, how she laughs, how she looks at you with so much adoration that you feel like melting.
There have been texts exchanged and brief FaceTimes before bed (either for you or for her, time difference is a bitch), but the both of you have been so busy, you with the World Cup and her with the tour, that contact has been sporadic and short. Sheโd texted you after the final, a quick โIโm so sorry darling, you played amazingly and Iโm so proud of youโ, but you havenโt heard from her since. You understand why: sheโs the biggest popstar in the world, performing her record-breaking worldwide tour. She doesnโt have the time to be on her phone 24/7.
You just wish you could see her. Most of all, thatโs what you wantโto see her, be back in her presence again.
And then it hits you: you can.
You split off from the other Lionesses at the airport, hugging everybody goodbye and wishing them all a safe flight home. Ella gives you a slap on the back as you turn to leaveโ
โGo get your missus!โ
โshe yells, and you grin wide and toothy as you start walking to your gate.
Andrea meets you at the airport when you finally land in Mexico. Youโre exhaustedโlosing a World Cup final and then almost 24 hours of travel will do that to a personโso when she hugs you in greeting you canโt help but sink into it a little. She always did give the best hugs.
โOh, itโs so wonderful that youโre here, dear.โ She says quietly, squeezing you once before letting go. You smile. Andrea had been overjoyed when youโd informed her of your plan on the phone a couple days ago, and you can see her excitement shining in her face as you start walking to her car.
โShe doesnโt know?โ You ask as you exit the terminal and she shakes her head. You hadnโt told Taylor you were coming, wanting to surprise her.
โNot a clue. Sheโs at the stadium now, so you can drop your things at her hotel and rest a little before the show tonight.โ You sigh gratefullyโyou really are shattered, and a nap sounds like heaven.
Once you reach the hotel, you pretty much immediately collapse onto the bed. Sydney to San Francisco to Mexico City is one hell of a journey, and you can feel the long hours on the plane settling in your body like a stone dropped in water.
The room is nice enough, but itโs the hints of your girlfriend you can see scattered around that make it immediately worth the long journeyโa bottle of her nail polish on the bedside table, one of her hoodies slung over the back of a chair, and when you press your face into the pillow, the familiar scent of her shampoo hits you and envelopes you like warm blanket. You smile and close your eyes.
Just a few more hours, my love.
Youโve seen Taylor perform countless times over the years youโve known each other. On tour, on late night shows, in her living room at 2 AM. Always, youโre astounded at her voice, her stage presence, the force that she is and the space she takes up. Itโs a miracle to witness every single time you get the privilege to see her so in her own element.
This time, however, takes your breath away like never before.
Sheโs radiant on the stage, a shining sun you feel blessed to gaze upon, and the passion she puts into every single song makes you feel like youโre part of something entirely bigger than yourself. She looks gorgeous in every outfit, hits every note and every beat, and more than anything, she looks happy.
And maybe itโs the months apart, or maybe itโs simply her, but you feel like youโre walking amongst the stars watching her, a meteor passing by your wondering eyes. It feels like falling in love all over again, and it feels like flying. She performs โSweet Nothingโ as a surprise song and you feel your breath catch in your chest. Youโre mesmerised, and by the end of her set, you sort of feel like crying, in all the best ways.
Andrea takes you to her dressing room once the fans start pouring out of the stadium, assuring you that Taylor will be there once sheโs done thanking all the crew, before ducking back out with a wink.
Nerves take over just a little as you wait for her to arrive and it makes you laugh to yourselfโ3 years of dating and she still makes you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, still gives you butterflies.
Time passes like treacle dropsโthat is to say, extremely slowly. Youโre beyond excited to see her, and every little noise from outside the dressing room door makes your head snap up and your knee shake. Youโre full to bursting with wanting and longing and loving that when she finally does open that door, youโre on your feet before she can even blink.
You see the shock in her hanging jaw, her wide eyes and you laugh shakily, tears springing to your eyes at the sight of her, in the flesh, after so long apart.
โHi, sweetheart.โ You say, barely louder than a whisper, and sheโs in your arms before you even finish your sentence.
Her embrace feels so strongly like home that you canโt help but let yourself cry a little. Taylorโs crying too, you think, as she buries her face in your neck and you hold her close, shaking as she folds herself into you. It feels like something clicking into place in your chest as she fits herself into your arms, as you sway her back and forth, closing your eyes and thanking a god you donโt even believe in for this moment.
She draws back after a while to look you in the eyes but she stays in the circle of your arms, dropping to rest around her waist. Her hands come up and hold your face as gentle as glass and you grin at her. God, youโd missed those blue eyes of hers.
โWhenโhowโwhat are you doing here?โ She finally settles on, stroking her thumbs over your cheeks. You giggle at her incredulity.
โI flew in from Sydney, got here a few hours before the show. Iโฆโ you trail off, still breathless at the sight of her, still taking her in, โI missed you.โ
The smile that ruined you for all others spreads across her face and she huffs out a little laugh. She shakes her head, staring at you with amazement sparkling in her eyes before leaning in to press her forehead to yours.
โI missed you too, baby. Missed you so much.โ
When she kisses you, you all but melt in her arms. Itโs deep and long, her lips capturing yours with a tender vigour that leaves you absolutely starstruck. Her thumb rubs against your jawline, other hand sliding down to rest on your shoulder as she presses in closer and steals the breath from your lungs. Take it, you almost want to say. Take it all. All I have is yours. All I am is yours.
You pull back after a few stretching moments, panting and love-stung and joyously happy. Taylor looks like a goddess, like all your brightest dreams made flesh, and you sigh, nose brushing hers.
โI love you so much.โ She murmurs and you smile. She moves her hand to press against your chest, resting above your heart.
โI love you more, superstar.โ
Once Taylor is finished in the dressing room (which takes quite a bit of time given that the two of you keep falling back into each other, into long kisses and quiet hugs, drawn by each otherโs gravity), the two of you exit the stadium to find her parents waiting by the car. You and Scott exchange warm greetings whilst Andrea hugs her daughter. With pleasantries exchanged, you all buckle in and Scott starts driving to the nearest and most low-key restaurant in the area.
Over some truly exquisite food, the 4 of you talk for hours. You speak about the World Cup defeat, still fresh and painful. Though, you have to admit the sting is lessened when youโre sat next to the woman you love most in this world, her hand rubbing circles into your knee as she presses a kiss to your temple.
Taylor lights up when the conversation shifts to the show, and you canโt help but be transfixed by her as talks, smiling and gesturing and practically spilling over with excitement. Sheโs loving the tour, you knew she would, but to see the passion and the payoff in her eyes is a gift from above. You listen with a smile the worst of weather couldnโt wash away.
Before you know it, itโs nearly midnight and Andrea starts to yawn. Scott insists on paying the billโthough you fight him on it amicablyโand they drive you and Taylor back to the hotel before bidding you goodnight and heading off.
The elevator ride and subsequent walk to Taylorโs room is comfortably silent, the both of you content and peaceful, but you feel the mood shift once the door closes behind you.
Sheโs on you in seconds, mouth seeking out your own as she presses you back against the wall, hands searching out any bit of skin they can find. You respond in kind, equally as keyed up as she appears to be, gripping at her hips and pulling her into you, biting her bottom lip and smiling when she groans.
Your hands slide up the front of her sweatshirt, fingers skating over her ribs as her tongue slips into your mouth. Youโre kissing hot and desperate now, the both of you breathing heavily and pushing against each other like you just canโt get close enough.
โBed.โ She murmurs against your lips, nails scratching deliciously at the back of your neck. โBed, now.โ
You comply almost mindlessly, walking the both of you back towards the bed as you continue to kiss furiously until her knees hit the edge of the mattress. Before she can fall onto it, she pulls away from your lips and turns you around, shoving you backwards so that you topple onto the bed. She follows close behind, climbing onto your lap, legs straddling your hips.
Your stomach drops hotly as she settles on your lap, hands grasping for her waist as she starts a slow grind against you. You feel like youโre on fire, burning up with the need to feel her, to touch her, to claim her again after far too long.
Taylor gasps when you attach your lips to her neck, sucking and kissing at the skin before biting down, hard, the way she likes it. She moans, her hips bucking against your stomach. Thereโll be a mark come morning, and a dark little voice in your head cackles with gleeโyou want to mark her, to sink your teeth in until the skin is red and bruised, to show the world sheโs yours.
โBabyโฆfuckโฆโ she trails off when you bite her again, lower this time, and her hand tangles in your hair, pulling a little, โFuck, I missed you.โ She breathes, pulling you back so she can look you in the eye. You grin up at her, and you must look thoroughly ruined. Itโs how you feel, after all. Wreck, ruin, mess. She looks it too, eyes darkened and pupils blown, chest heaving, lips kiss bruised and bitten red.
โI missed you too, love.โ
Taylor smirks, hand tightening in your hair to the point of delightful pain as you groan at the feeling.
โShow me how much.โ She demands.
And who are you to say no?
A/N: Wow I LOVED writing this! Literally obsessed with Taylor, so glad I could write for her! Hope you all enjoyed it :)
