easily one of my favourite tweets of all time

im no boobologist but ill take a look

I’ve seen enough boobs in my day to know a thing or two

sorry i got a boner when you gave me a high five i just havent had anybody want me around in a long time

Has not eaten in two minutes

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

Yeah

2007 eBird gem

i think i accidentally lived my entire life in a poison swamp

you ever meet a guy you just KNOW would get enthralled by the amulet 🙄

rap has probably been the most consistently popular and influential genre of music for the past 40+ years but your average person on tumblr is less willing to listen to it than a random white teenage boy in the suburbs or a 4channer who lurks on /mu/ every once in a while

ask a tumblr user why they don't listen to rap and you get shit like this lmfaoooo

we should invent drone and ambient posting ill go first

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

read this post while studying or going to sleep

i’m sorry. portmanteau bot has gone berserk. we have to put it down. once i activate the seal we’ll only have one shot to take it down. ready your blades, legionnaires

bitch fartman

bartman.

This portmanteau was created from phrase ‘bitch fartman’. Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help keep my meatbag slave alive.

even the top gets called a faggot

me explaining modern homophobia to aristotle