the pond??

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

give barty crouch jr a tramp stamp cowards.

i just know sirius told everyone “my brothers are dating”

The “That’s immoral you shouldn’t write that, we need to get that taken down” discourse on tiktok right now is PISSING ME OFFF

Wdym you want censorship for a literal ARCHIVE are you fucking stupid

Ao3 was literally founded to preserve works that were largely getting taken down due to censorship

Censorship is the opposite of what Archive of Our Own stands for

The TAGS and WARNINGS are there for a REASON. Use them and stop complaining

The universal rule—don’t like, don’t read

It’s THAT simple

ai has no fucking place in fandom. none whatsoever. even if you’re “just using it for feedback” or “just using it for prompts” or “just using it to help with writer’s block.” and if you’re using it for research? why on god’s green earth would you use the Lying Machine to do research???

all art, whether written work, paintings, drawings, anything, is a fundamentally human creation, and by using ai to create “art,” you are stripping the humanity from something inherently, intrinsically human

fanfiction and fanart and any kind of fan creation are borne out of a love of the original media and a passion for creation. there is no reason or need to supplement that passion and creation with gibberish from the Plagiarizing Machine

nobody expects perfection. it is the imperfections that make it beautiful, that make it raw and rich with humanity. this is a community that exists because of a shared love for something.it is built upon our own creations. ai generated content threatens its very foundations

no matter what your most embarrassing moment in life is, at least it’s not having fucking chat gpt write fanfic for you bc you’re too lazy to do it yourself

'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'

what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip

“Sirius Black wouldn’t wear skirts!” Jkr has no canonical queer characters. She said Dumbledore was gay after The Deathly Hallows was published and it’s not mentioned in any of the Harry Potter movies. If someone headcanons any marauders character as queer, they don’t care that much about canon, so why do they get so upset over other people’s ideas about fictional wizards? I could say Lily Evans was a trans woman who magically got pregnant and it wouldn’t matter because she’s fictional!

If you don’t like a headcanon, scroll past it. Stop saying “Canon Marauders would beat up Fanon Marauders”. These types of comments make you look homophobic or transphobic and like an asshole.

Anyway, I love Sirius in skirts and think we need more transgender/gender queer/gender non-conforming characters.

when will peiple learn that its okay tk habe ur own interpretations of stuff especially because this is MY BLOG

Like yh reg waa a death eater bjt also, he rried defeating voldy and thats gotta ckunt fkr skmethjng rigbt

Typing with one eye opem cahse i still habe a fat headache and i feel so sick

I gotchu! Translating so that even those in the back get the message:

When will people learn that it's okay to have your own interpretations of stuff especially because this is THEIR(messingwithmoony) BLOG.

Like you know Regulus wss a Death Eater but also, he tried defeating voldy and that's gotta count for something right!?

Disclaimer: the above message was typed with one eye open cause they still had a fat headache and they feel so sick.

Disclaimer 2: Translation offered from a hospital bed being bored. I just felt strongly about the message sent 😁 Hope my spelling was ok.

i lpve u sm for translating thos, tysm!! Also are you ok??

Oh yeah I am, just need antibiotics via IVs. So just laying around waiting to see when I get better 😅🤣 Glad you approved of the translation!

Oh no😭😭 i hope yoi feel bwtter soon!!

It was super nice what you did for me, i an very appreciative🥲💚

the hp fandom and the marauders fandom are two completely separate fandoms and i will die on this hill

Quick reminder that the wolfstar bait on the official Harry Potter TikTok is actually really bad news. Block the account. And block anyone giving them their attention. Don’t let one penny of the money she’s using to do harm come from your pocket. I’m so for real right now I’m on the verge of pulling my hair out