bro i hate itzsubz why is he like that. wrapped up in his stupid one track mind of getting banned. repeats repeats i dont care i dont care i hate this place get me out. ignores the burning untouched feelings in the back of his mind. focus on getting banned to push anything else to the side. because heβs thought and thought and thoughtβ¦ came to this one conclusion, final solution of leaving after countless hours of isolation with his thoughts (sounding familiarβ¦)
and itβs like, he will ignore uncomfortable feelings. he believes he can run away. if he goes far enough he doesnβt have to deal with the server. heβs tried. but now, the sun burns, stars bore their eyes into him, and heβs surrounded by deepslateβ¦ where everything bad happened. he cant run from ANYTHING. even the endβ¦ his first safe spaceβ¦ so he thinks that by leaving the server, he can leave it all behind. and heβs cluttered up his base, no place to channel zam onto the walls. his s6 base was his starter so it makes sense that itβs cluttered and messy but not to this extent.. like heβs purposefully making it garrish and distracting. so that he can grind villagers and zombies instead of., well think of anything else.
because he never processed those s4 events he canβt move past it heβs genuinely still very bitter about it. nobody is surprised at this. like his hand is still stained with purple ink and he sees it and he hates it. he doesnt build anymore because he sees quartz and glass and its just too much. his thing with mapicc he indulged in because it felt like old times and he can still pretend nothing ever happened. itβs so .grrrrrr. (not to mention how i think they r kinda similar in that if thereβs nothing left for them they will leave. i think subz understands why mapicc left on a personal levelβ¦)
itβs also heβs embraced being the βvillianβ something vitalasy couldnβt handle and itβs sooooo. he saw how attachment was vitalasys downfall so hes making sure nobody not even us can get an emotional grasp on him. he can only bring up eclipse in a detached way, or at least he tries to. (he βdgafβ abt zam but he still read all of his signs abt mapicc. sure girl!) u can see the bitterness leak out of him. and thereβs moments of sweetness too, where he keeps his promise to vi, if vi needs him, heβll log on. i guess this is subz picking up where vitalasy left off, ending the world.
subzam convo would make me worse. it would not save me. zam accepted subz resignment, because he understands it now why subz leaves. the first time he tried to bring him back and wellβ¦ zam got told before (by subz himself) why subz canβt stay but he didnβt want to believe it before. he still doesnt want to believe in it, but he understands it now. if thatβs what subz wants. 3: (i still think thereβs hopeβ¦ but maybe im too optimistic) zamβs feelings abt subz r still unresolved, mirroring subz feelings abt eclipse. taking a good long look at zams new shield and the subz princeaxe-> eclipse axe. i hope that bubble pops and they are so so so so messy about it.
i hope bacon talks to subz more and i hope they get freaked out by each other more. bacon is probably internally sighing to himself abt getting zam to break up with vitalasy 2 yrs ago. cuz these guys r too messyβ¦
but anyway yeah fuck this guy.