reinsuba ft. that april fools version

what I had in envisioned in mind:

nvm made it a little more accurate

You see, Subaru was pretty sure he died.

It wasn’t even that bad of a death all things considered, he rather liked it. Fast, instant, barely a moment to register before darkness. Well, more like a disorienting snap somewhere else. It was painless, is what he’s saying, which is rather rare for his deaths. Not to mention Subaru already already knew what he did wrong here unlike other loops where it felt like the world kept on throwing random bullshit to kill him.

It was honestly one of his best deaths, he’d rate it four out of five stars on ways to go out. It had been entirely his fault too, he should have realized so much sooner what Wrath’s authority would do, it was there all throughout the other loops but he was to fucking slow and got trapped by the authority himself before he could tell Reinhard.

He wants to blame the time limit, fifteen minutes is barely enough time to get there much less strategize and he was flying by the skin of his teeth with adrenaline and stress, he hadn’t had much time to think but still. It was literally his job to figure these things out and it was a little embarrassing that such an easy fix resulted in killing him.

At least Subaru thinks he died.

“Liliana?” he asked, confused looking around for the songstress. She should already be speaking by now, in fact where was everybody? Corpses, all of them cut in half through the shoulder, resided in the square and Subaru took a hasty step back. What the hell? Was he still at the clock tower? Impossible.

He whipped around, some faint nausea rising in his throat at the gore but he was much too used to grisly sights to ever get sick from it at this point. For a moment a fierce crushing guilt hit him. Those people’s deaths were his fault. He could’ve saved them, but instead Subaru’s dense head has cost them their lives.

He turned away, unable to look. He couldn’t get crazy overloaded with guilt right now. Compartmentalize. Strangely enough he couldn’t smell it and he knew how pungent blood could be. He was too distracted to ruminate on that thought though when he spotted Reinhard on his knees crouched over something.

Had he not died? This was the same loop wasn’t it? Why was he still here, what the hell happened?

“Reinhard!” He called, dashing over to the fallen Sword Saint. Reinhard was laid in a puddle of blood from the bodies. His lower half completely drenched from it. There was a smear on the ground like he had crawled over to where he was and he looked like he was holding something. He was mumbling something incoherently and Subaru felt his concern ramp up.

“Reinhard!” He said again and stopped right as he reached him. “Hey… are you alright?”

Reinhard tensed before his eyes snapped to him and Subaru was shocked at his expression. He looked completely gutted, shattered in a way he couldn’t describe which yeah if he had accidentally killed a group of civilians he’d be pretty devastated too but he’d never seen Reinhard look like that.

For a moment he stared at Subaru like he wasn’t even real.

“Subaru,” he choked, standing up so fast Subaru jumped back. For a moment there was a shining hope before it crumbled away into even worse despair. “Your—“ he cut himself off, strangled.

“Hey, uh. It’s okay,” Subaru said, a little desperate because he truly had no idea what was going on. “I'm okay. We beat Wrath right? That’s good. That’s…” He trailed off as he took in the town square of corpses and cringed. God, he was terrible at this. He didn’t know how to make him feel better because this was pretty terrible. It hurt his heart because this wasn’t Reinhard’s fault, it was his own, but he couldn’t explain that and now he looked like he was killing himself over the guilt. Maybe he should’ve died there. God, he wished Emilia was here instead, she always knew how to make him feel better. Or Rem… He shivered and tried to push the memory away. He needed to stay on task.

“It's going to be okay. It’s not your fault. Reinhard, if you hadn’t stopped her she would've killed a lot more alright? I know you probably feel really guilty about this but we couldn’t have known this would happen. You did what you were supposed to when you encountered a witch cultist. I didn’t realize her authority either so you really can’t blame yourself, alright?”

“No,” he said and looked even more stricken. “No, I failed you, and I killed you and I failed you again and I’m a monster I killed you it’s my fault I’m a monster–”

Reinhard looked moments away from hyperventilating and Subaru was getting more and more panicked and alarmed. He desperately tried to wave his hands to get his attention.

“Hey hey hey! Breathe with me Reinhard I’m okay! You didn’t kill me, I'm right here! And I know things look pretty bad right now but if we go together and explain what happened nobody is going to blame you. You did what you were supposed to when you found an archbishop you couldn’t have— you couldn’t have known what their authority could’ve done. Those deaths are Wrath’s fault, not yours.”

Reinhard didn’t even seem to be listening. He was staring sightlessly at the ground like he wasn’t even there.

“Reinhard hey—“ Subaru crouched down, wanting to comfort him and reached out a hand to— to—

“…Hey.” He said. “Wait, wait, wait what the hell?”

His hand— it wasn’t right. He stared at it, uncomprehending. He could see the ground past his hand. His hand was see-through.

“What the hell?” He choked again.

“It's my fault,” Reinhard said, sounding far away. Distant. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I have failed you Natsuki Subaru, and I could not even correct my mistake. This is my fault and I’m— I’m—“ He covered his hands with his face. Subaru felt like he was reeling, vision tunneling and mind going a million miles a minute because— because—

He could see what was in Reinhard’s lap now. He hadn’t looked at it too closely because Reinhard had been covering it but now he could see what he’d been cradling.

A corpse. Glassy eyed, and gored. Its midsection was ripped in half the same way as everyone and had that had only been sloppily stuck together. Viscera coated the hair and clothes of the bloody red body.

It was him. Dead.

Subaru felt faint. Light. Like he could float away.

“That’s impossible,” he said softly. “That’s— no, that’s not possible. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.”

He was supposed to reset.

Why hadn’t he reset?

“Why am I still here?” he breathed, voice cracking. “Why the fuck am I still here?”

Reinhard was as still and quiet as the dead.

“What happened? Reinhard, what did you do?”

And Reinhard looked up at him wide-eyed and pupils blown.

“I tried to save you,” He whispered.

—-

A/N: And scene! My first idea for this scene was to have Reinhard rush Subaru to clutch and cry into him, only to have him pass through. Then I thought the idea of Reinhard holding Subaru’s dead body was a MUCH angstier and better way to reveal that Subaru is a ghost. I also like the idea of Reinhard being the only one able to touch Subaru, albeit cold and lifeless (without his authorities at least.) I don’t know! I just really like your AU!!!! :D, It makes my angst feels tingle and quite frankly I feel starved for Reinsuba content and your AU just hit ALL the right buttons. Feel free to do with this snippet as you will, take inspiration, use it, idc, consider it a gift. I just had fun writing it <33

Thewalkingmew5 you are absolutely amazing— I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT HEREEEE WAAAA

I love this so much!! The way you write Subaru is so spot on and in character, in fact as I read this I can literally almost hear Subaru say his exact same lines !!!! And Reinhard oh my poor boy, I feel so horrible for him and he’s cradling Subaru’s body and then wow

I love how in this Reinhard’s immediately aware that it was because of his new Divine Protection that caused Subaru to— well end up in his ghost state!

season 4 is being made! everyone rejoice!!!!

personally I’m on volume 19 of the novel rn so I will be reading arc 6 soon >:D!

I really enjoy how fluid the animation is in season 3 but I also enjoy how mature Reinhard looks here. He looks like a true and proper knight, a lady cannot help but to swoon.