Reblogged
Reblogged
imagine if lisa and betsy's conversation had truly gotten to the core of it, though. like yes. lisa didn't think about her daughter in that moment. she risked her life without considering the effects on others. she put her job first. BUT! she also risked her life because even after everything—even after the growth and the love and the happiness of the past few months—she can’t say if she actually wants to live or not. can’t say that she didn’t hear the voice in the back of her head saying come on, do your worst. can’t say that given the opportunity, she wouldn’t give it all up for a chance at a nice, long sleep.
and for betsy, still so young, still so idealistic, what it would mean to know that not only did her mother not consider her before putting herself in harm’s way, but that her mother’s deep-seated craving for death will always overpower her daughter’s need for her to live.
detective or not.
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it really does come down to, as with most things in her life, this idea of what lisa believes she deserves.
and when she has permanently harmed the daughter she’s sworn to protect. when she’s failed as a police officer—the one thing she thinks she’s good at—by not thinking things through. when she believes the perfect wife, the better mother, becky the belter is turning in her grave, what is her first response? to blame herself, to stew in guilt, to lash out in anger at the man who has ruined everything. but then the true solution becomes clear: not only how best to shift blame, but how best to punish herself. an impulse that has become well-practiced after a lifetime of self-infliction.
the easiest way to receive a life sentence without ever having to step foot in jail: by losing Her. by denying herself comfort and love and compassion. by once again facing life alone. so she spews what she doesn’t even fully believe—just so she can breathe again. says exactly what she knows will make the decision for them. and even when she turns back, when she instantly regrets it, she knows that it is all by design. that she has given herself no choice. that she can’t take it back even if she wants to. that her self-hatred now comes with casualties.
because it’s what she deserves.
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been thinking a lot about how lisa swain essentially used her position as a detective to coerce an inmate into donating a kidney to her gf. like. i understand rob donovan is a criminal. he's dangerous, he's a liar, he's a murderer. he's also a human being. and it's just so deliciously fucked up to me that lisa took one look at him, skipped over the whole 'human' part, bypassed the 'carla's baby brother' thing, jumped over 'this is wrong' and landed squarely on 'disposable organ donor.' the woman is out there casually violating human rights to save the woman she's been dating for like. two (2) months. she's sick! she's a sicko! she's so fucked up! she's so stupidly deeply in love!! and she'd literally do Anything to avoid losing the woman she loves (again)!!!!!
Reblogged lesbiancosmicowl
Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane
Reblogged thirteenthedoctor
Good morning chat. I’m thinking about this photo of Jodie Whittaker
Reblogged gayporcelain
your job is not more important than media from 2005. never forget this.