Wait no how did I get here

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

excuse me, no I wasn't???

congratulations to today’s lucky 10000

my dealer : got you some straight gas here ⛽🔥😜 this new strain is called "the judas contract". you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i don't feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw gar lick a poisoned envelope

my buddy Raven pacing: terra is lying to us

it really is crazy how quickly people were willing to just let chatgpt do everything for them. i have never even tried it. brother i don't even know if it's just a website you go to or what. i do not know where chatgpt actually lives, because i can decide my own grocery list.

idk how to do image editing but good news everyone!

✨ Please reblog to make it reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

nobody freak out but im about to start generating some large translucent red circles upon the floor to indicate an incoming AOE attack

✨ Please reblog to make it reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

✨ Please reblog to make it reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

If you try to say anything to me today that's not about my flying fish pepper shaker from the antique store, I will beat the shit out of you. I'm so serious.

Yaaaaaay everybody frow up and die because you're not me 💚

Walmart is out here charging 5 dollars for a pool noodle.

me leaving the walmart with a shoplifted pool noodle up my ass

If megan thee stallion was on veggie tales she'd be a green onion called megan thee scallion

Silly phone, you're not detecting an analog audio accessory, you're detecting soup, from the bowl of soup I dropped you in.

three horsemen of the apocalypse

famine transitioned

she's transfaminene