the honda odyssey fucks hard!
deadpool (wade wilson) x f wolverine variant!reader
summary: the honda odyssey fucks hard! too bad deadpool does too.
warnings: mature content mdni(unprotected sex, creampie fight sex, dry humping, violence, inappropriate language)
the road stretched endlessly ahead, the hum of the tires filling the silence between you and deadpool. you had your hands on the wheel, gripping it so tightly your knuckles turned white. beside you, wade was sprawled out in the passenger seat, boots propped up on the dash like he owned the place.
it had been quiet for too long, so of course, he had to ruin it.
“so,” wade drawled, stretching. “if they can fix your world, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get out of here?”
you didn’t even look at him. “get some tequila shots. maybe a wiper fluid chaser if i’m feeling reckless.”
he let out a low whistle. “damn. a woman after my own heart. you trying to impress me? because it’s working.”
“ouch. right in my emotionally stunted heart.” he pressed a hand to his chest, feigning pain.
you rolled your eyes, focusing on the road, until something clicked in your brain.
wade blinked at you. “i said, when we get out of here, what’s the first thing you’re gonna do?”
there was a pause. wade hesitated, then muttered, “…if they can fix your world?”
your heart stopped. the wheel creaked beneath your fingers.
“what do you mean, ‘if’?”
he shifted uncomfortably. “i mean… y’know…”
you turned to look at him, and your glare could have burned a hole through his mask.
wade’s hands shot up. “no, no, no! i mean-ow, fuck-”
you slammed the brakes. the honda odyssey lurched forward, sending wade crashing into the dashboard with a satisfying thud.
“fuck! my spleen! my second spleen! my third- wait, how many spleens do i have?”
you grabbed him by the collar of his suit, yanking him close until his masked face was inches from yours.
“you don’t have a fucking clue if they can help me fix things, do you?”
you slammed him back against the seat.
“no! i made an educated wish!”
“an educated wish?” you echoed, voice dripping with venom.
“yes, it’s like an educated guess but with more ‘please let this work, universe’ energy!”
you glared at him, chest rising and falling with rage, but he wasn’t squirming the way a normal person would be. no, he was looking at you, really looking at you, like he was enjoying this.
you bared your teeth. “you think this is funny?”
“no.” a beat. “…okay, maybe a little.”
your claws popped out, the metallic snikt filling the van. wade let out a low whistle.
you were about to carve his throat out, but then, he pulled something out of his suit. a photo. crumpled, bloodstained. you frowned, staring down at it.
his voice was quieter now. “my entire world.”
you hesitated. the photo was of a woman, dark-haired, beautiful, smiling up at the camera. vanessa. you recognized her. there were others in the picture, too, faces that meant something to him.
“it’s only nine people,” wade continued, “and i have no idea how to save it alone.”
you felt something in your chest tighten. you hated that.
his voice softened. “i know how to fuck people up for money. but you? you know how to save ‘em.”
you swallowed. looked away. “i don’t know how to save worlds.”
he smirked, head tilting. “no, but you sure as hell know how to ruin a man’s entire f*cking life with just a look. and i gotta say… it’s kinda hot.”
you rolled your eyes. “you’re unbelievable.”
“and yet, here i am, trapped in a minivan with the sexiest murder machine i’ve ever met.”
your eyes flickered down to his lips before you could stop yourself.
“i should kill you” you muttered.
“i mean, you could try, but i’d probably moan about it.”
that was it. you swung, but he caught your wrist.
the air shifted. your breath hitched.
the honda odyssey rocked violently as you slammed into each other. claws scraped against fabric. wade was laughing, arms wrapped around your waist as you pinned him down against the seat.
“oh, you dirty bitch” he groaned, hands sliding down to your hips.
“you love it” you shot back.
he flipped you over, but you yanked him back.
he slammed you into the dashboard.
“fuck!” you growl, shaking off the hit. pain flares through your ribs, but it’s already healing. your head snaps up, eyes burning with rage.
wade is sitting in the backseats, chest rising and falling, hands flexing at his sides. his mask is torn, exposing the cockiest fucking smirk you’ve ever seen.
he brings up two fingers. flicks them toward himself. a gesture as if to say ‘come here’.
“i take it all back.” his voice is low, smug, taunting, throwing his head back. “the honda odyssey fucks hard! too bad we don’t, baby.”
rage coils in your chest, but it’s not just that, it’s something else. something dangerous. something that makes your breath come faster, your heart slam harder.
you crawl back to him, straddling his lap. you reach for his throat, pressing your claws against his neck, but not enough to cut him.
his breath is hot against your lips.
his other hand trails down your side, slow, teasing.
his mask was half-torn, revealing his mouth, his scars. His eyes, behind the fabric, were blown wide.
“I should throw you out of this car” you murmured, but your hands were still gripping his suit.
“I’d just climb back in,” he muttered. “you mad at me, sweetheart?” his voice is playful.
his mask is half gone, and his lips are right there.
you crash your mouth against his.
wade grunts in surprise but melts into it instantly.
his grip on your hips tightens, his other hand sliding into your hair. his lips are warm, rough, desperate. his teeth graze your bottom lip, and you growl, nipping at his in return.
your claws sink into his shoulders. he groans, but presses closer. his hands gripping your hip.
his hand moves from your hair, trailing lower.
his lips are swollen, pink. his eyes are blown wide, pupils dark.
“…are we still fighting?” you breathe.
and then, he’s kissing you again.
his hand grabbed your ass firmly, and squeezed it, pulling you harder against him with a groan that's half pleasure, half pain from your claws.
you rolled your hips against his to tease him. he inhaled sharply as you ground against him, his grip on your ass tightening. a grin spreaded across his face, even as his hips bucked involuntarily to meet yours. you moaned, feeling him hardening under you. one of his hands moves to your jaw, tilting your head for better access as his lips find your neck. he nibbled, sucked, left a mark, knowing it'll heal in seconds with your healing factor.
you kept grinding against him, trying to create some friction where you needed him. he groaned, his hands moving to your hips. he lifted you slightly, adjusting your position so that you're lined up with the bulge in his pants and held you in place, his hips thrusting upward in a slow, teasing rhythm. his breath hitches as you ground against him, his fingers digging into your hips. “shit…”
you reached out for the zipper of your yellow and black suit, pulling it down. his eyes widened, a smirk curling his lips. “well, somebody's eager…” he reached up, helping you tug the zipper all the way down. his hands slipped inside, helping you out the suit.
as soon as you undressed yourself, you kissed him again, desperately. he met your desperate kiss with his own. his hands roamed your bare back possessively. one hand slid down to cup your ass again. he boosted you up slightly, then ground up again, making you moan. he swallowed the sound, then broke the kiss, panting heavily. his hands moved to the front of his own pants, quickly undoing them. he shoved them down just enough to free himself. he was already hard.
he grinned wickedly at your hungry gaze “like what you see, claws?” he teased. without warning, he lifted you and positions you, rubbing the tip teasingly against your entrance. you moaned and pressed yourself more against him.
he groaned at the feeling, his hands gripping your hips tighter. with a swift movement, he thrusted up, entering you in one smooth motion. he stays still for a moment, savoring the feeling. “fuck... you're so tight…”
you started riding him, going up and down slowly, just to annoy him. he tightened his jaw, his fingers digging into your hips again. you were teasing him, with slow, torturous movements. he swallowed a growl. he let you control the rhythm, knowing full well you were trying to drive him crazy.
you smirk and start tracing a line of small wet kisses along his jaw. his breath hitched, the slow ride driving him insane. he tried to maintain control, but it was slipping. his hands slid up your back, gripping your shoulders, trying to make you increase the pace.
“wow so i made you shut your mouth for longer then 2 minutes? record” you teased him, whispering it into his ear. he snarled at your teasing, his control snapping. he started thrusting up hard and fast, chasing his release. one hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a brutal kiss. you kissed him back.
he was hitting every right spot inside of you, making you a moaning mess. he felt you tightening around him, your moans spurring him on. his hips thrusted relentlessly, each thrust deliberately aimed at that spot inside you that makes you see stars. “you’re not teasing anymore, are you?” he teased with a smirk.
“fuck off and keep going” you ordered, trying to not sound too desperate, but failing. he chuckled darkly, obeying your order with a renewed vigor. his pace becomes almost punishing, each powerful thrust stirring up those delicious sensations within you. "yes, ma'am" he quipped sarcastically, though his strained voice betrays his own desperation.
you could feel you were close, and by the way your pussy was tightening around his cock he could tell too. his breathing became ragged. one hand moves between you to rub your clit in fast circles, pushing you closer to the edge. "c'mon, claws..." he rasped, knowing exactly what he was doing to you.
“oh fuck” you cried out loud as you finally reached your orgasm. he growled as he felt you convulse around him, pulling him deeper. his own release was right there, but he wanted more. he kept thrusting, drawing out your release, making you whimper and shudder. "not done"
you were crying out for the overstimulation, everything was so sensitive. he showed no mercy, continuing to thrust into you as you try to squirm away from the overwhelming sensations. his fingers continued their relentless rubbing, pushing you towards another release you were not ready for. "look at me”. you tried to look at him despite the urge to close your eyes and roll your head back.
his eyes locked onto yours, intense and unyielding. he leaned in, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss as he pushed you over the edge again. his hips stuttering as he finally reached his own release inside you. “fuck” you said out of breath, you were shaking.
he continued to kiss you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as he slowly came down from his high. he broke the kiss, his forehead resting against yours, his breathing heavy. "fuck, i love the way you come apart for me..."
“oh shut up” after a minute or two of silence, you finally gave in. “ok, i’ll help you save your world”
a/n: let me know you liked it, and if you did, don’t be scared to like, comment or reblog, it would really help me since this blog is new. let me know if you have any kind of request, not just for deadpool, it can be of any marvel character or more, i’m happy to write them <3
