Keep watching men cumming in her gay ass like the citizens of camelot trying to pull excalibur from the stone. Don't they know only the true king of england can get their trans girlfriend pregnant? smh...

talking battle strategies with your girlfriend

My trans girlfriend and my wife's trans girlfriend getting into a political argument on christmas but it was the politics of Dark Souls sounds like a story I would make up for a bit and not an actual for real thing that happened to me last night

"Ahh, that was a nice long holiday vacation. Cant wait to get back to work!"

*suffers a minor concussion*

*treatment for concussion is to allow brain to recover by not doing work*

"Nooooo......"

In all seriousness, I think I'm going to have to delay the new Wires Crossed page until next week or my wife and girlfriend will kill me

Using my dom priveledge to kick my girlfriends off the couch in order to take a nap

"...and this is my ex-wife!"

"I wish she'd stop calling me that. I'm her girlfriend."

My girlfriend told me this once a night out and it's lived rent free in my head since

The profiles on our Switch are somehow perfect and I will never change them

Critical context: Erin and Soyedgirl are my girlfriends, Dandy is my hersband, and Charles is their brother

Someone send me some random unsolicited advice I need it for a Bit

No thanks! I already have a system *points to my girlfriends*

Checking out the tumblr blog of my girlfriend's girlfriend, let's see what she's posted...

Wish I could rant at length about Kill la Kill and especially Satsuki Kiryuin because she is a very interesting and flawed yet likeable character but my girlfriend treats my blog like the morning news paper so I can't post spoilers

I wrote the whole post but I'm keeping it in my drafts until she gets past the parts it spoils

I think it’s so funny that utena has literally no idea why anyone in the black rose arc got turned into a duelist. Like imagine someone pulls up in an intricate uniform holding one of your friend’s swords and says “HAHHAHA I GET IT NOW ALL OF MY DEEP PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS STEMMING FROM MY HIGHLY SPECIFIC INSECURITIES CAN BE SOLVED IF I KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!” and it’s sarah from math class who you only vaguely know

Being a barista is so funny because sometimes it’s like “ahh yes, Michelle. Your usual grande quad americano with one pump mocha, one and a half caramel, topped with steamed soy?” and other times it’s like “I know you’ve been cheating on your wife for over a year but damn sir for the life of me I just can’t seem to remember your name.”

She said she's gonna force me to take a week off work and spend time with her

You haven't taken a vacation since you started working in 2020. You've worked as hard as you could since only taking time off when you got sick or were recovering from surgery.

Damn right I'm making you take a week off.

REAL

Girls with glasses are cute

Wait. Emily just reblogged 17 twitch clips of me in a row.

Does... Emily LIKE me???