mao

@felidaefatigue / felidaefatigue.tumblr.com

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begone with ye discourse

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im very close to just going off of the internet completely so like if ur a longtime mutual of mine that wants a way to contact me if i decide to do that yell at me and ill give u like My Actual Info otherwise yea idk yell about my blorbos covered in blood in the wild and maybe ill show up? idk man shit sucks

wh.... at..... in the fuck

#idk if this is a new scam or smthn but i blocked em immediately because what even the fuck is that lmfao #are there bots trained on tumblr tags now????#just cause i said i was sleepy????? what???

i also couldnt get into any sort of god worship because i have an authority problem and pda and i would fully call them a little bitch consequences be damned. and generally. thats at least frowned upon.

#tiktok has me on hellenism for obvious reasons and everytime i see someone refer to them in their worship as lord or w.e title im like.#immediately no.#i could never

bébés

#odysseus (epic)#penelope (epic)#cat scratches #epic the musical #i wanna draw telephone i say to myself. and then. draw a barely perceptable bebe. failed successfully.#in my brain pen is taller n perpetually tan cause the reason ody thought she was hot enough to rival the others was cause shes just #as much of a shithead as he is climbin trees n whatnot

everytime i listen to different beast i get intrusive dungeon meshi thoughts

#epic blab #sir u really gunna eat the merpussy literally huh #these men really do be starving #rip sirens man #the pure disrespect man. oof.#and then euri still goes after that damn cow #smh. did that man refuse the sushi

hello i am humbly asking for any audio book recommendations with your favourite war criminal. i want a evil little irredeamable (sp?) heathen to prod at in my brain

@payloadofgeckos >3 heheh

#thank u for joining me in admiring my boy. and slash or my art whatever. both are My. and Art. in a way if u wanna be cheesy about it

been idly thinking about if i were to do the whole patron diety thing (i would never cause any form of Belief system freaks me out cause its too like. "here lets just induce a little psychosis to shift our understanding of reality" for me to be comfortable doing it to myself)

but im leanin towards somethin that would be related to wind or like. depths of/end of winters. idk specifically but. those feel integral enough to my experience of the world.

#wind is funny cause as a kid i used to personify it a lot walking home #and also cause its responsible for my migraines.#built in disaproval structure.

Reblogged

also this morning i had an absolutely buckwild thought.

i was thinking about how i feel like im in the mental space where a crash out/depressive episode wants to happen. but my response to that was "but its so much easier to not"

*what*

when the fuck did i get stable enough that getting worse is *harder* than maintaining the status quo. i didnt even know that was possible. absolutely batshit. what the fuck. but aLRIGHT IF WE SAY SO BRAIN??????

like listen i was aware that when i was like rock bottom that i was like. very At Risk and shit but. every step i get distance from that im like a) how in the fuck did i survive that, b) how the fuck was i eeking out such good grades n shit in spite of it; like yea i had sacrifices and ruined a lot and it was very very bad but??? also damn bitch, kicked ass. c) how??????? did no one???????? ever do anything?????? about it????? or notice? i guess? or the ones who did try like..... how... was it not more drastic. because?????? if people were walking around with this level of super power brain okayness and noticed a kid with what i had going on like how were u not absolutely mortified. like even a glimpse of what i was is so utterly appalling to me now that a creature could be in that state and be functional.

and i didnt even think i was that bad??? comparitively??? wh??????????

honestly anyone critiquing any teenagers for their behaviour right now should be backhanded on sight cause what if theyre going thru that shit on top of everything. good god who cares whatever the fuck theyre doing if theyre alive at all fuckin hell yea. presumabley some of them arent like. dying internally for neurodivergent and mental illness reasons ofc but like. some of em surely are. and. oof

anyway idk if i have anyone under the age of like 25 on here but if u are and ur goin thru it. im so sorry. if u wanna vent in my inbox or something fuckin go for it.

not a "it gets better" person usually but if u can get to the point of making it get better- its a fucking trip and a half dude u have no idea, idk if id call anything "worth it" for going through that pain but it certainly is worth experiencing this after-stage purely for the experience of how mind blowing it is. its like reading a really good writer write fanfic from a perspective you would never in 1million years consider but its so well done your whole understanding of a character is changed kind of "what the fuck. but. i mean. damn. yea. i guESS."

#long post #sorry for rambling it will always throw me for a fucking loop #its just. so wild. how much brain vibes alter reality.#absolutely insane.

also this morning i had an absolutely buckwild thought.

i was thinking about how i feel like im in the mental space where a crash out/depressive episode wants to happen. but my response to that was "but its so much easier to not"

*what*

when the fuck did i get stable enough that getting worse is *harder* than maintaining the status quo. i didnt even know that was possible. absolutely batshit. what the fuck. but aLRIGHT IF WE SAY SO BRAIN??????

#still baffled by it like 30m later #what do you mEAN it feels easier to maintain day to day routine than to let it all slip away #???????????#people whove never been clinicallt depressed how easy is ur life what the fuck how does it keep getting easier wHERE IS THE CEILING #someone nerf neurotypicals they have too much power clearly because i am no where near that and yet every day i notice an improvement #im like WHY DIDNT I KNOW THIS WAS AN OPTION

if ur a skirt/dress person in a cold climate. get a petticoat. god damn is this thing toasty. a dress n petti and some tights or long socks? absolutely cozy vs pants.

downside; im really good at doing the whole hermetically seal an airbubble in ur layers in winter. which is very good for insulation. but. not so good when u have ibs and the occasional chemical warfare farts.

#almost killed myself this morning on the way to work.#twice actually. i also slipped really good and almost fell crossing the street cause its heckin icy #figured the cars got a good giggle out of it tho cause kicking up a petticoat looks cool lmao

added more hands before it went up on the wall

#cat scratches #patrochilles #maximum grabby

Reblogged

are the half naked men gripping eachother in greedy inevitability work appropriate. probably not. but they have gone on my wall of doodles. its what they deserve u.u

if anyone is curious what the doodle wall is lmao

are the half naked men gripping eachother in greedy inevitability work appropriate. probably not. but they have gone on my wall of doodles. its what they deserve u.u

also cause i know like, modern retellings are currently fairly popular esp with youth just, fair warning i do not care about any of it to any particular degree classics or modern- it all gets the fanfic treatment for me of "i will enjoy your writing or your characterizations or the story you weave purely within the confines of itself and couldnt care less about how they exist comparitively im just here to eat as many cakes as possible" ok ok good

also epic. lil penelope n ody n sirenpen ideas

#cat scratches #epic the musical #penelope #odysseus

been listenin to the song of achilles

#cat scratches #the song of achilles #achilles #patroclus #patrochilles

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