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shadow the hedgehog is cool. gunblades are cool. vampires are cool. scythes are cool. white hair is cool. we need to stop lying about what is not cool

"casual" as an insult is really funny tbh. hey everybody this guy plays games for fun. they like to relax and have a good time

person trying to get out of a timeloop but they keep getting brutally murdered by the other person stuck in the timeloop, who is having the most amazing vacation of their life and refuses to leave

oh this SLAPS

it's not glamorous, but it's also not honest work, and nobody needs to do it

very first reply knocks it out of the park

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved

why be radically exclusionary abt queerness when you could be radically inclusionary instead. let's inflate the numbers. let's become the majority. the sky's the limit

"we can't let just ANYONE call themselves queer!!" what are you talking about. I'm steepling my fingers and gleefully cackling every time we Get Another One and you should be too. lock in.

having a cyclical mental illness really does feel like being the world's most dogshit necromancer reanimating the same corpse every few months

#goals

im just not convinced humans were ever meant to be this busy

every day i am surrounded by people who need more naptime, and more playtime, and more storytime, and more playdates and parties and sleepovers. when it comes to worktime, however

"Anything is fine as long as it's legal" is not the sex positive position you think it is. Anything can be criminalised. Anything can be decriminalised.

In some places it's illegal to consensually choke your boyfriend. In other places marital rape is not a crime. Develop a moral compass instead of expecting your government to tell you what is right and wrong.

i really hate coming out but still want my extended family to know, so my mother took it upon herself to invent the game “guess which one of my kids is gay.”

the rules are simple.

This isnt coming out of the closet. This is coughing loudly from within the closet to scare the people outside of it, which is immensely more entertaining.

in honor of the global livestream of the Terrible Influence Tour! if seeing it live was an experience, then watching it back confirmed it wasn't a fever dream - and i loved every second of it. (bonus AU/NZ fits under the cut below!)

[Image Description: Fanart of Dan and Phil on the Terrible Influence Tour set made of television monitors and LED lights. Their limbs tangle together as they crammed in the central monitor, and swap outfits as the set changes with each segment. Alt text is provided and copied below. End ID]

To anyone who thinks Dan was exaggerating about how bad and retraumatizing it was back in the day with the old phandom, anyone who has been here for around a decade can confirm it’s not even a slight exaggeration. 1% being crazy obsessed is super generous. Looking back, I wouldn’t have blamed either of them for dropping off the face of the internet and never returning. It’s true that a lot of us were young and it was a unique situation where very little of us had bad intentions, but the old phandom was just so crazily intense. People who’ve been in the phandom for so long can attest to how the attitude and action of the present phandom is so different from where it used to be and it’s not an exaggeration that it wasn’t safe for them to come out back in the earlier days of the phandom. It wasn’t mentioned, but Dan’s minor brother was barraged with questions about Phil in 2012. It truly is so special how we have changed and the endurance of both dan and phil. And I think TIT is a real appreciation of the growth of the phandom and the maturity we’ve all collectively experienced.

Dan: Well, now what?

Phil: What do we do?

Dan: So, guys... what if DanAndPhilGAMES just became Dan and Phil?

Phil: What if it was just Dan and Phil with games? 


Dan: What if we just committed?

Phil: To doing stuff.

Dan: What if we put a ring on it?

Phil: Put a ring on the chan.

Dan: We're actually just gonna do Dan and Phil content.

Phil: Yeah, properly. 


Dan: Not that there's anything wrong with the last year of content, because don't get me wrong... Gaming, great. I think we always do gaming.

Phil: 
There will always be gaming, for sure.

Dan: Because let's be honest, playing long horror games as probably the most successful type of content on YouTube.

Phil: But we wanna do more with the channel.

Dan: But we can do more with that.

Phil: So, I think that's, we...

Dan: There's nothing wrong with cosy and casual, okay?

Phil: But what if we had both? 


Dan: But Dan and Phil playing card games isn't the extent of our creative ambition.

Phil: We have more in our brain minds.

Dan: So what does this mean? 
When does this mean? Well, here is the thing, guys, we literally just got back from this tour, and then we've literally been editing the show and preparing for this night, and here we are with you hanging out with this thing. So, uhh, give give us a minute, so like, you know, work it out. I was like, Phil, you know what would be so dramatic?

Phil: What?

Dan: Just hiatus 2? 
Just while we were-

Phil: No, we can keep making gaming videos until we're ready.

Dan: So, if you love the kind of Dan and Phil struggling to make content while they're busy doing something else, laps up more content.

Phil: And we're still in the whiteboard phase, so there's... you'll see, you'll see when it's done.

Dan: Don't get me wrong. 
If you absolutely love the type of shit we've been doing for the last year and a half, we're still going to do that.

Phil: That's sticking around.

Dan: We're just gonna do more other stuff.

Phil: More stuff.

Dan: God knows..

Phil: Alright, I wasn't expecting to talk about that right now.

Dan: What do you mean? 
We promised them tea.

Phil *miming giving the chat tea*: Okay, there's the tea.

(Excerpt from Dan and Phil's Terrible Influence Global Livestream Afterparty, 23rd of March 2025)