and your smile on my shoulder? well that's mine

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

Really solid trans joke I'm always saying to my kid sisters is, "Listen, I get where you're coming from. I was a girl when I was your age..." Pisses them off so bad.

Congratulations on learning to make dad jokes.

"60-70,000 geese" is the new "i found 100,000 dollars"

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

new DB Cooper theory: he’s still falling

i am full of love and also fatigue

The biggest “your experiences are not universal” thing I feel is whenever anyone talks about the universality of girls planning their weddings since childhood because. Well. Not me. God bless

Like a half hour after taking pain relief meds: oh actually it doesnt hurt anymore i probably didnt even need to take those

You ever look at some art your mutual made and you just sit there in stunned silence and awe that one of your friends is out there making jaw-dropping beautiful art just for the hell of it

Reading mcyt fanfic for years lowkey fucked up my perception of the consequences of bodily harm in other fics. Ill be like omgggg its just an arrow its not that big of a dealll 🙄🙄 just yank that shit out and drink a health potion 🙄🙄