I enjoy hearing perspectives that allow me to shift From my own internal mental static, somtimes I find myself Bringing lifetimes of anguish to one problem in my mind even as I stay silent.
I enjoy releasing things and detaching even tho it feels like I’m peeling myself apart,
I enjoy talking to people about my feelings
I somtimes try not to get too much validation of my ugly feelings and ego responses because I do desire to be separate from even those comfortable feelings
Fear cannot touch what I really am. Who I really am
A vast network of exploding black stars made me
And I’m sure each explosion had its own inescapable tragedy but where ever that dust settled I began
It’s extremely hard to not identify with what comes across my awareness I also know that emotion is simply that. motion, movement and I’m allowed to be moved without finding stability in ideas of safety that are cheap life rafts that keep me afloat on the surface when the goal is to be submerged In the deep depths of myself
Which Is funny bc I almost drowned as a kid, I could feel myself sinking to the bottom of the water and seeing nothing feeling timeless going into the blackness, I woke up in a women’s embrace carrying me.
I know see that in that same way I must bring myself out of those depths and hold myself
Thank you