Love and appreciate bugs Or Else

Ok updating the pinned post because the old version… is old. Oop. Won’t repeat the stuff in my bio so I guess I’ll just… get into this.

•If you’re a terf, exclusionist, LGBTA+ phobic, think queer is a slur/not a valid identity, are racist/sexist, support p*dos/MAPs/proshippers/anti-antis, or are fatphobic, don’t interact. Also, block me. I hate you I am throwing so many rocks at your face and putting tacks in all of your shoes and changing all of your profile pictures everywhere to a picture of a clown because you’re a fucking joke

•I’m an adult, so if you’d prefer not to interact that’s no problem. Similarly if you don’t want me to interact with you, just let me know and I’ll respect that! In either case I would prefer it be mutual, as I don’t like the idea of only having one-sided interaction.

•Feel free to ask me questions whenever! Especially about headcanons or my own characters! Seriously, I love excuses to ramble about them and have trouble sharing otherwise. You can also ask about me and my opinions too, obviously, but I figure that’s not as likely. Please interact I still need enrichment

•Keep in mind that if an ask is super inappropriate(like actual nsfw) or gross, I probably won’t answer it. That being said I would really prefer not to get graphically sexual or otherwise unpleasant asks. There are better places to share that stuff and better people to share it with.

•If you need something tagged, let me know! However, I will not tag things as “q word” “q slur” or similar, because I see queer as an identity and not a slur, and will treat it as such. If you need it tagged for trigger reasons, I’d prefer a catch-all tag be suggested so that queer folks will not get the wrong idea or feel alienated. If you plan to argue with me about it, save us both some time and block me.

•I have multiple roleplay/ask blogs and they are all dead or dangling by a thread, said thread being an anon or two every few weeks. I’d love to revive them someday so if you are curious about them hit me up. I promise they are cool. One even has a canon url of the muse’s name, that’s worth something right? Pleas

•I support the (correct) use of tone tags! Though I don’t often use them on here beyond a small number in tags, I do on Discord, and I also know most of them.

•I have a Discord, by the way, but I’ll really only chat with folks I know.

•Free Palestine. Support for the current actions of Isreal is support for genocide. It will not be tolerated.

More specific/belief-based stuff under the cut. Not really necessary to read for average folks, but may be important to some. Kinda serious subjects.

He would grab you like squeaky toy probably

Alas I just haven't really had the motivation to write him in the text chats bc realistically he would've given up and moved on when it became obvious he was just gonna be the laughing stock forever

At this point I'm pretty much used to it. Something about my aura seems to attract those types, and has since I came here. It happened when I wrote Nova a lot, then Lor, then Whispy, two different OCs I don't do anything with anymore, Reloh to a lesser degree(two waves of this, currently on the second), Lon, the Master Crown/TCWaR... I block a lot of anons but as you can see it doesn't seem to do much. It's annoying and exhausting and certain recurring topics make me want to commit crimes but I've learned to live with it.

The main issue is that there's a big difference between Iru speaking to others in person versus Iru speaking to others over the internet, which so far has been the primary way I write him since I'm bad at setting up actual rps. Typing something out gives him far more opportunities to think "wait I'm saying the quiet part out loud" compared to him actually speaking with someone, especially now that he operates at organic speeds; he can still process things at an above average rate to the point of outpacing his ability to type.

Iru is extremely manipulative because he always wants to get people to look at and treat him the way he looks at and treats himself. He doesn't care(that much) if they only do it if he lies to them. This exact behavior was just talked about, actually— he doesn't give a shit about respecting identities beyond his own, but recognizes that wording his complaints as if he does will make himself look better. Plus, trying to draw attention to someone else supposedly being close-minded, in his mind, takes attention away from his own bigotry. That whole interaction in itself was an example of subtle ways he is a shitty person.

The manner in which he is a bad person is also just different than how it used to be. He isn't physical in the way he used to be because he has no reason to attack other ships, and as a mimic he isn't cold and callous and efficient in how he goes about hunting the same way Lon is. Iru is a people person, owing strongly to his history as an Umbramaker. He's talkative, he wants attention, he wants connection— ironically that's the reason he decided not to out Lon or stop trying to get with them. They, even if not honestly, indulged him for a while, because they did not understand or care about his opinions and behavior the way other people had, and he was desperate because he had nobody because other people wouldn't just accept his behavior the way Lon did/does.

There's also just the fact that like. Last time I wrote something that really showed off how genuinely awful he was in a non-rp setting, like seriously poured hours into it... Next to nobody seemed to actually read it. Not on here or on Discord, even when I brought attention to it multiple times hoping to get folks to check it out. The kind people who did read it didn't say anything about it that really meant anything in particular. I can't recall a single reaction that was specific to it, positive OR negative. Whenever I get useful or memorable feedback I keep it, but I have nothing from that time. The one person who expressed interest also kind of stabbed me in the back after blaming me for the resentment they allowed to build up instead of just talking to me, which doesn't help and is also far beyond the scope of this post.

Like, I love getting key smashes and OOOOOOO and emojis as much as the next guy, but they don't encourage me like actual feedback does. It really demotivated me a lot to the point that I've actually long since deleted what I'd written and haven't really had it in me to try again. Why bother? Why put the time and effort in if nobody is going to care about it any more than people care about the easier to write shitposts or chat-based rp? If it's not going to be any more impactful to people, what's the point of spending the energy? It doesn't do me any good because I already understand he's a terrible person and don't need to write a several thousand word story about it, but if I don't have reason to think others would read those stories... Well, why would I write them?

The same thing kinda happened with Lon, too, though at least my writing there was memorable enough to lead to the "Lon hates southerners" joke. But that wasn't what I wanted the focus or takeaway to be at all, so I still failed at my goal anyways. Another reason not to invest time and energy into that kind of thing.

Now I'm unmotivated to write it because there's the evident good chance that most people won't care about it AND a risk of the people reading it being gross about it. Whether directly or by intentionally misinterpreting it. For fuck's sake people have made [REDACTED] jokes about him and Isi. There's just not enough genuine interest that's been expressed to outweigh the fact that I don't want to deal with more of that, or violations of my blacklist, etc.

Maybe I'll try again eventually, but as things stand I just don't have the confidence to expect it to make a difference.

I'm supposed to be working on chemistry homework but I keep getting distracted by the urge to torment Iru

Nope

moley