i just got insider access to the biggest spider in san frico

As a former Californian I want to let you know that people actually hate it when you call it san frico, you should say 'frisco instead, they really love that C:

i'm not talking about san fransisco im talking about a different city called san frico that lives underneath the bay in a large network of tunnels and caves

💯 but its 000 for when something's fuckall

just saw a sign on the side of the road that said “you misunderstood: bring back my lawnmower” that six word story goes crazy

[guy who has been cut 999 times immediately beforehand voice]: this shits easy i could definitely take one more

My favorite adjective used to describe shrimp is “peaceful.”

My favorite adjective used to describe snails is “willful.”

Fuck... the Tiger Clan's technique... it's too much for me... what did my mentor say about that move....

*flashback to mentor during hero's training*

Yeah man I have no fucking clue what to do about that move.

i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

i meant completely smooth but flat it actuwlly funnier

new flat earth thearoy: we could do it

Cold War overproduction of nukes is commonly attributed to fears of a "missile gap," despite this being obviously farcical. In reality, this was mere cover for the real reasons: the USSR, as the world's first atheist state, needed a much larger deterrent to keep the angelic legions of heaven at bay, whereas the US's pioneering work on quantum mechanics led to a tense standoff with dozens of different parallel USSRs that threatened to attack simultaneously.

pepper tries to woo peach…..bonus episode

highlights include peach’s “….anyway” and pepper looking to me for moral support.

bringing this back because i think this video helped a lot of people to realise that spiders aren’t all that scary. after posting this I got so many messages saying they love pepper and that he showed them that spiders are actually pretty cute, so hopefully this will help any new people who happen to come to this blog now. ♡

feeling down? having a bit of a bad day? need something to cheer you up? then may i present to you:

1st century AD pig shaped bronze and lead weight on a rectangular base

do you perhaps have some personal experience with this

.

there he go

anti-survival horror where you're desperately trying to die but everyone is keeping you alive

wha t if oregon trail was called wagon age: oregons

This made me so angry the first time I saw it I’m reblogging it again.

happy 10 years to wagon age oregons

You're so fucked

Duchesse Anne D’Uzes working on a sculpture of Jeanne D’Arc – by Adolphe Demange, 1900. France. Via Carlton Hobbs