this song is for the gloomy bastards

Briefly returning from the dead to post the Laith Vacker fic!!

there is an ocean in my soul

I know that realistically you can only fit so many movies into a list of approximately 100, but I cannot take that "How many of tumblr's favorite movies have you seen?" list that's been going around seriously because there are some truly egregious omissions.

Some of it is very clearly recency bias, which makes me wonder if the op truly wasn't on here in 2013 or so, but you're telling me you made a list of "tumblr's favorite movies" that doesn't include Pacific Rim or Mad Max: Fury Road? Because, like, I was there, Gandalf.

I'm a ridiculous human and genuinely couldn't sleep until I tried my hand at a better, more balanced list -- though of course, I have my own biases when it comes to what corners of this website I've lurked in over the years. For what it's worth, I did consult the last several Years In Review, while also drawing on the fact that I've been here for over a decade. But if there's anything that truly doesn't feel like it should have made the cut, blame my mutuals for putting it on my dash all the time.

(And apologies, but I couldn't seem to find Goncharov among the website's listings)

ao3 is crazy because you'll read the most gut-wrenching 200k word slowburn that leaves you sobbing into your sweater at four in the morning and the author will be applejacksmonstercock

later you find out that applecock is like a) the nicest lady in the world, b) in her late fifties and c) is a well respected senior member of a career you didn't know existed like head mop taxonomist or chief piano refurbishment factor or secretary of racehorses and suddenly a few of the comments in the longest orgy scene are even funnier.

I’ve seen a few headlines like, “Who is Laura Jane Grace, the punk singer who opened Bernie Sanders’ Kenosha rally?” and if you’re curious and don’t want to read a whole article, I’m here as your local LJG fan to give a brief rundown!

been reposting my tumblr posts on bluesky. don't tell those chumps i'm feeding them my leftovers lmao

Me saying that I was 7.5 lbs at birth tells you absolutely nothing about my current weight. Similarly, saying the gender that I was assigned at birth tells you absolutely nothing about any of my physical characteristics, nor anything about my gender identity or experiences with gender. So if you want to talk about physical characteristics or gender experiences just fucking say that instead of using AGAB terminology

It would also be rather silly and pointless if I introduced myself like “Hi, I’m S and I use he/him pronouns and I was 7.5 lbs when I was born.” And it would be absolutely ridiculous if I decided I would only date or be friends with people who were between 6 and 8 lbs at birth. It would be really weird if someone’s weight as a baby was treated as one of their defining features.

AGAB describes a single event that happened when you were born. It’s not a gender identity or a description of what someone’s body looks like or a personality trait, so please stop treating it as such.

Hi I'm back and I'm still annoyed about this. "7.5 lbs at birth bodies" is a completely nonsensical phrase. My body might look very different from someone who was also 7.5 lbs when they were born. My body might look very similar to someone who was not 7.5 lbs when they were born. Bodies are complex and have a lot of variety and absolutely cannot be categorized by what a doctor said when you were born.

So for the love of god stop using AGAB terms to describe bodies. "AFAB bodies" "AMAB anatomy" "AFAB genitals" shut the fuck up!!!!

Tinker of the 2025 keeper sexywomen comp! she will explode thee

“I have to use the term AFAB because the word vagina is icky to me :(” firstly not all people with vaginas were assigned female and not all people who were assigned female have vaginas. but also quite honestly if you find referring to body parts with the correct terminology to be “icky”. well that’s a skill issue*

*and an issue that, no doubt, has been at least partially fuelled by misogyny

my parents fucked up a lot (don’t even get me started) but the one thing I’m glad of is that my mum was always very very particular about us using the right terms for our body parts. because euphemistic language kills. being too scared to be clear about anatomy kills. obscuring what you mean when you’re referring to bodies is not a neutral act so I’m sorry (I’m not) but you just need to get over the “those words are so icky”. you need to be able to talk about vaginas and penises and bladders and anuses. “AFAB anatomy” (which is a nonsense phrase anyway) just does not cut it

Can we bring back ‘if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything’. I’m kinda sick of every joke about trans groups on here just being mean. We are in a world that already hates trans people so much so why add more hate to it. Even if it’s just joking. Especially in public places like social media where you are just inviting cis people to joke about how much they think trans people and trans art is ‘cringey’ and ‘lame’.

I hate how there’s so much a thing around being mean online. I don’t see much of this mean joking stuff in trans spaces in person, just online. Can’t be in trans spaces online without seeing 50 “haha fresh out transfems and their bad and ugly Amazon skirts” jokes or “cringy transmasc art! It’s all tacky uwu cowboy love art!! Lmao!!!” Or “lmao nonbinary people have no fashion taste!! They are so ugly!” Why be mean?

Surprising amount of people mad at the opinion of “I think being mean is bad. I think people should be nice :)”

Alvar Vacker by @aurenflare

Tiergan Alenefar by @flori-doodles

Definition of a sexyman: An often pathetic and/or evil man who is sexy (but perhaps not in the conventional sense)

Propaganda:

Alvar Vacker:

"he's SO pathetic!!! he literally became evil because his younger brother is prettier than him. he commits so many evil acts and somehow fucks up every single time. he almost dies on several occasions. he was stuck in a pod of troll goo. then he decides to fake his death and hide out in humanland, where he immediately decides that pancakes, cable tv, and korean skincare are his new best friends." @arsonistblue

"HE'S HOT?? HE LOVES PANCAKES?? SEXY??? HE WAS EVIL THEN HE WASN'T THEN BOOM HE WAS AND HE'S A LIL PATHETIC MAN <33 VOTE FOR MR PANCAKE™" @siennamakeschaos

"alvar has it all 😌 he's sexy AND evil AND pathetic. so pathetic. the most pathetic man alive possibly. nothing has gone his way and i can't say he's dealt with it well but u see. that only serves to make him more of a sexyman. VOTE ALVAR !!!!!" @aurenflare

"hes SOOOOOOO skrunkly simply how could you resist. has three girlfriends buckets of charm and a banging ability but he turned evil just because he was jealous of his little brother. got chopped up and gooped but he keeps trucking on pathetically. he deserves the world and also to die but most of all he deserves YOUR vote for sexyman <3" anonymous

"No but if Alvar doesn't win. Y'all he was BORN to Tumblr sexyman. He has orchestrated terrorism and violent attacks on 12 year olds. He hates his little brother for being cooler than him. He's canonically insanely hot and he's TERRIBLY unethical with this power because he had three girlfriends who didn't know about each other. He manipulates his little brother's ex best friend into giving him affection. He desperately wants to be loved and he can never get it. He loves pancakes. He wants to be just a guy but is pathetically hungry to receive his abilities back when he gets the chance. He gets thrown away by a terrorist organization he believed cared about him. His family actually loves him but he's so broken by the belief that they don't that he can never receive it. Did I mention he likes pancakes" anonymous

"f slur (lovingly)" anonymous

"I am a very sexy man. Ergo, I should be keeper sexyman" @alvarthethiccpipecleaner

"He’s gay and so very very stupid." anonymous

"he's just. he loves pancakes??? and skincare??? and he's so absolutely pathetic. there's like four pages in legacy where in between every thing he says, sophie's like 'he looks sick and pathetic lol' so yeah vote this pathetic hot evil man for kotlc sexyman" anonymous

"Alvar has two sides: evil scar-covered villain bent on killing siblings and cute soft boy older brother figure who likes pancakes. Both would be valid to argue for sexyman status but the combination is what makes him exceptional. Also he canonically had three girlfriends (and ruy let's be honest), like this dude is so hot in-universe it's not even funny." anonymous

"look man im not even an alvarhead but you gotta admit hes pretty funny. hot enough to get three girlfriends and yet so insecure he joined a terrorist organization because he thinks everyone likes his little brother better. keeps on failing at everything. got goop’d. etc." anonymous

Tiergan Alenefar:

"he's awkward. he's transgender. he has antennae. he's a dad. he's arguably the only character who doesn't give a shit about sophie's love life. he's sopping wet. he wears a rock man costume when he commits crimes. he's even gay" @arsonistblue

"his middle name is literally transgenderism. what else do you want me to say." @necromycologist

"f slur (lovingly)" anonymous

"hes gay, hes a twink, he wistfully stares into the sunset in the human world for his man prentice, hes a rock, hes so pathetic wet cat, he commits crimes, hes a dad of like 5, he really said fuck you to alden and adopted sophie, he has long blonde hair, how could you not love him

also look at his jawline like ok baddie🤫🧏" anonymous

Want to submit propaganda? Do so here and it will be added in the next round!

They should invent hair pulling that doesn't remove hair

Apparently boomer Democrats are having meltdowns over a gen-z progressive who is primarying an 80 year old Democrat because she "went on trans podcasts" and wore a Charizard kigurumi

ok but what is she running on

You can check her out here, but quick run down: