saw a video abt how the “toxic boy mom” thing is just emotional incest/enmeshment and i was like yeah correct. then i looked at the comments and it was all ppl blaming the sons??? mocking them, saying they should just get over it, saying no woman should ever date them, that if their mom is like that then it’s their fault for “allowing” it and like. y’all i do not know how else to explain that a parent abusing their child (bc that’s what emotional incest is) is not the child’s fault. if you realize your partner is a victim of enmeshment/emotional incest, you should handle it the same way you would with any other abuse victim, with care and tact and offers of support. not mockery and blame. jesus christ.

“he lets her walk all over him, he always has to ask her permission to make important life decisions, she always asks really invasive questions and he just answers her like it’s normal, he doesn’t set boundaries with her so she just does whatever she wants, she threatened to hurt herself if he didn’t give her attention and he just gave in immediately”

do u not see how this is textbook signs of abuse. is that not glaringly obvious.

I mean, obviously don't blame children for being abused - but like at a certain point, as an adult, you are responsible for yourself and your own life and even if it's not your fault for being abused, it is your responsibility to set boundaries and cut off abusers. Like, you can be as supportive as you want, but if the adult man doesn't agree to end or distance himself from an abusive relationship, then what can you do? That's ultimately his responsibility as an adult.

“at a certain point you’re responsible for your own life […] it is your responsibility to set boundaries and cut off abusers”

you really do not know how abuse works, and also this is victim blaming 101.

“you can be as supportive as you want but if the adult man doesn’t agree to end or distance himself from an abusive relationship, what can you do?”

not a lot, which should be sad. it should make you sad to see that a person is being abused and isn’t able to leave yet because they are still heavily conditioned by their abuser to not see the abuse. also if we actually treated these types of abusive relationships as abusive and interacted with victims as victims then i guarantee you more men would cut off their abusive mothers.

and this shit is what i’m talking abt. bc this is not a reaction most people who consider themselves to be progressive and anti-abuse would have if the victim was a woman — not bc victims who are women are inherently treated better, but bc patriarchal norms still heavily affect the way we treat abuse victims. women are weaker and therefore when they’re victims they need more help, they need someone to protect them. when men are victims, it’s their own failure for not being strong and masculine enough to protect themselves. when the truth is that regardless of gender, victims of abuse are vulnerable and need to be treated with kindness and patience. bc if you infantilize or mock someone who’s being abused, it’s just going to further entrench them in the abuse.

this post briefly mentioned the fact that there are ppl who say that women should never date men who are victims of emotional incest. literally nowhere in this post do i tell women they have to stay in a relationship they don’t want to be in. what i did say was that you should treat men who are victims of emotional incest with decency, kindness, and care, and actually treat them like abuse victims instead of blaming them. so i think perhaps ur reading comprehension is lacking.

The sleepy smeemy blepper tucked in oh so cozy dreaming smeeming.

12 frames of animation I made using knitting! I spent a long time on this and I’m so pleased with the results, really looking forward to trying more ‘yarnimation’ in the future. Process video out now too! 🐑

“Stop motion animation doesn’t take long enough already, let’s add textile arts.”

[video description: an animation in yarn of a row of sheep all jumping over a fence in a grassy field. /end description]

it is so wild to me the fashions that are called “emo” today. especially given the fact that probably 80-90% of it is actually scene, not emo. this would have started full on wars 15 years ago

whenever people call this

emo it drives me BANANAS. no! this is not how emos did their hair. this was a scene look!!! some people might have gone from emo to scene depending on their age when new trends happened but they’re DISTINCT

this is getting more popular so i want to clarify, the above are obv scene queens and were what all scene kids aspired to HOWEVER. all of this⤵️? absolutely would have been considered scene in the late 00s (all photos from searching “emo” on pinterest)

whereas these are more emo⤵️

you will note that the scene kids wear brighter pops of color, especially neon pink and green. there’s a lot of pop culture references, patterns and texture. miniskirts very popular, the more layered the better. the emo kids are more simple, the black skinny jeans are a staple obv and usually dark hair and a band shirt, maybe some stripes but not anything crazier than that in terms of patterns. maybe a few accessories, but not so many that you hear them coming from a few miles away.

now THESE three are more in the middle. personally, i would categorize the first as scene, and the #1 giveaway there is the domo necklace- a scene icon- and the multitude/stacking of accessories backs it up. the middle is harder- the front of the hair and band shirt suggest emo, but the pink, layering, and the hair bow are decidedly scene. i think you could probably call it either way but i would lean scene. the last one is also hard- the hair highlights and amount of accessories are more scene, but the color scheme, especially the silver and black for the accessories as opposed to patterns, make me lean emo.

(source: i was in middle school in 2008)

extremely important addition from @death-g-reaper:

[screenshotted tags: #a key trait of emo is a certain kind of androgyny it’s why emos were getting hate crimed for being gnc in the 2000s #it sounds silly now but there was a moral panic about the boys shopping in the girls section for pants #my partner was a 2000s emo/goth kid and he says that before the term skinny jeans came out #they just called them girl pants because they were getting them from the girls section #i feel like scene is way more girly than emo is traditionally like you can have girly emo but it’s more scene’s schtick]

very important and true!! a huge huge part of the hate that “emo” got was because instead of the popular skater style/oversized fashion they were opting for tighter clothes and specifically women’s jeans (which, before jean companies realized they could profit off of it and started selling skinny jeans for men, were just from the women’s section) and it was a WHOLE thing. the long styled hair and occasional makeup AND talking about your feelings?? this is why so much of the emo scene was written off by larger culture and even within hardcore/punk culture as, essentially, faggot music, for girls, stupid, etc.

never posted this Virrow art anywhere else than twitter but since that site exploded here it is again.

Kurdish Jewish man from Iraq, 1934

“If you say trans men don’t have male privilege then you’re saying they aren’t real men!”

Right yeah, because the metric by which we should be judging if someone is “really” their gender is living up to the cis standard of that gender. Of course. That sounds like a very healthy attitude to bring to the trans community.

(And that’s not even getting into how this just ends up reinforcing the already existing structures of toxic masculinity within the cis patriarchy.)

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

I want to address a couple of things here - first, there’s nothing wrong with supporting Palestinians, and that in and of itself is not what Rachel is being criticized for. she tied her views directly to promotion of this film, and that is the issue - she caused immediate backlash and harm to her costar, further fueled antisemitism and xenophobia, and did this entirely for her own selfish purposes to court favor and publicity. she knew full well that she had to distance herself from looking like she “approves” of Gal, as the mob had already been coming for her and Rachel wasn’t going to let herself be canceled by daring to appear accepting of Gal’s existence.

second, she can hold whatever views she wants, but free speech isn’t some limitless thing without parameters, and there are often professional and contractual aspects to it, which came into play here.

Gal has advocated for the hostages, spoken against antisemitism, and raised awareness about 10/7 (none of which is inherent approval of any government action and certainly isn’t supporting violence), but she hasn’t done any of that on Disney’s dime nor has she entangled it with her work, even going so far as to not wear the hostage ribbon to awards events in an effort to separate her advocacy and her job.

tying these together wasn’t an innocent mistake, it was intentional and it caused negative repercussions.

Marc Platt discussing this with Rachel directly isn’t “bullying her” nor is it creepy or abusive. actions like this have consequences. for all intents and purposes, he is her boss, and he was speaking to her as an employee who jeopardized the project and other employees depending on it.

the leftist antisemites screaming about and harassing and threatening Gal (and Israelis and Jews whenever they encounter them), and review bombing as “antizionism,” are no different from the right wing extremists hurling racism at Rachel - making it even more frustrating that she exacerbated this, when she herself has faced unfair cruelty and prejudice.

I’ve shared this before, but it’s so important that I’m bringing it back. this is Marc Platt explaining how to discuss these issues on a compassionate and direct human level:

this is not a zero sum game, and it should not be impossible to hold sympathy for affected people. if the stances someone is taking are causing direct damage and bigotry towards others, then something is wrong with that approach and it should be assessed.

Elica wrote this as a response to the vitriol Gal received last year and it is worth reading again as this continues to happen:

you’re not progressive for threatening and hating someone based on their ethnicity, religion, or nationality. you’re just a bigot.

when did choosing to practice care and humanity become a controversial choice?

I should’ve included this report here again - Variety broke the news last week that she received death threats and had to have extra security:

Damn, can't we just not see a movie that's a blatant cash grab with horrible CGI and ugly costuming? Why did this need to be a "boycott"? It's not a boycott if you're not boycotting other Disney movies and products.

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

#here is a man so heartless he has literally cut his own heart out of his chest #but he's still not as evil as the fucking east india trading company