Whats that crashing sound downstairs at 3am....

Based on this post

Incorrect Lockwood and Co Quote

Trump is going to lift those tariffs btw. Like we're gonna feel it and it'll suck, and then he will lift them, and things will improve, and people won't realize that things were still better before he put them in place at all, and he will claim credit for making everything better even though things are still worse than when he started. Because of him. Because he made them worse.

So you gotta pinky promise me you're not gonna let yourself or anyone you know fall for that shit.

lmao no he won't

never doubt me again.

Pictish drip was insane. Look at this choker:

Chances are thats going to be the only thing a Pict warrior is wearing as he charges at you naked covered in blue paint and screaming with a sword in hand

Loveee that illustration on the left with the chain on. Definitely worn by the sexiest bitch above the Antonine Wall circa 400 AD.

Question. Did they really not wear clothes or was that an outsider trying to make them seem subhuman creating a fake reason? (Source: Julius Caesar making impossible shit up about at least one island in the Mediterranean and two in the Atlantic)

They wore clothes but fought naked, generally speaking. They were a people of northern Scotland and they farmed sheep so I assume they dressed warmly and in a lot of wool though depictions of their clothing are scant. They made very beautiful brooches/cloak pins. Fighting naked was an intimidation tactic practiced by many Celtic cultures. The reason Picts are usually depicted as naked and painted is because that was how they went into battle and generally speaking, that was the only time outsiders saw them.

(Detail of a Pictish brooch and a recreation of the piece available on Etsy.)

Right, like Celtic tribes were viewed as barbaric and uncivilized and uncultured for fighting naked but it was genuinely a very effective intimidation tactic, especially in the late Iron Age. Even though the Celts of Anglesey weren’t the same culture as the Picts we have descriptions from Roman sources of Roman soldiers suffering heavy casualties because they were frozen in terror and unable to move at the sight of Celtic soldiers running at them naked and screaming and seemingly without fear. Because when an armed individual runs at you in a murderous frenzy wearing only jewelry, it’s scary as fuck. And it would be in the modern day too.

Clothes would also have been incredibly valuable, and this way, none of it got ruined while fighting

Yeah, I believe there is a Roman source that says the Celts abruptly and violently removed their clothes right before going into battle (instead of like. walking there with their dick out.) so it might have also been a way of keeping their clothes from being damaged and/or keeping clothing fibers from getting in their wounds. Or it could have been a “fuck this, these are getting in my way” type instinct. Many advantages to going to battle nude in the late Iron Age. And they did carry large shields so it’s not like they had absolutely zero protection on the battlefield.

If you're not wearing armour or padding, clothes in battle are not only a risk to the clothes (which are incredibly labour-intensive to produce) but also an infection risk (a wound with dirty cloth driven into it is a bigger threat than one without). Of course throughout history most people have fought clothed regardless, but it's like, it's not a bad idea not to if the climate allows for it and you're foregoing armour.

always so touching and vibrant when you remember people a hundred years ago had profound lives full of fun and love

my great grandparents met because they were both telephonist-telegraphists and they used to communicate in spoken morse code so that their kids wouldn’t understand the dirty jokes they were saying. And my great-aunt was telling me the other day about how her father would sit with his kids during stormy nights and hug them as they looked out the window and he pointed out how beautiful the lightning was. Because he didn’t want them to be afraid. It isn’t far away but it’s easy to forget that people are people are people

isn’t it cool that we still take silly pictures where we pretend to put our baby niece for sale or where we pretend to officiate a funeral on the beach? I think that’s neat

In one of my family’s old photo albums from around the 1910’s-20’s there’s a picture of a dog sitting on a chair and wearing a hat.

This is my great grandma and her friends on a beach in Connecticut in 1918.

some of my faves are the ones where people have a new outfit or car, maybe even a hot date or the squad’s looking good tonight and they just had to capture their own coolness on film

Just went back and yeah, theyre doing the poses from the high school musical poster, minus ryan. Thats so funny. Why are they bullying Ashley tisdale

George requested by @vryfmi

Artemis requested by @kayden-i-guess

Smart boys

I love how it looked like a cute little art project, but then she whipped out a blowtorch and i realised shit is about to get real

blowtorches are relatively easy to acquire, I'm just boggling at the notion of randomly having an electroplating tank lying around

Jewelers are powerful and should be feared.

Everything Tumblr has told you about Moby-Dick is absolute bullshit, and everything that Tumblr has told you about Moby-Dick is 100% true. It’s a travelogue fantasy. It’s proto-science fiction. It’s cosmic horror. It’s shockingly original and it’s shamelessly plagiaristic. It’s a misotheistic Christian parable in which the whale is the mask of a cruel, uncaring God and Ahab is Satan himself, not as trickster or as tempter, but as doomed hero. It’s the most gripping thing you’ll ever read. It’s boring as shit. But above all else – and I cannot emphasise this enough – it is filled with Facts About Whales.

Some of which are even true.

I’d argue that the wrong Whale Facts are much more interesting than the correct ones. Every time you run into an incorrect Whale Fact, you’re left with several options:

Each of these options has a potentially fascinating story behind it. Basically, when Melville gets a Whale Fact right, that tells you a thing about whales – but when Melville gets a Whale Fact wrong, that tells you something about the context of the work’s authorship. And frankly? I’ve got better sources available to me if I just want to know things about whales!

Sample whale facts from Moby Dick:

- whales are absolutely fish.

- Linnaeus argues that whales are not fish, but: consider their vibes.

- Whales have fish vibes.

- A better way to sort and classify whales is to sort them by types of books: namely, folios, octavos, books and chapters.

- Only by sorting whales as books we can comprehend them all, but as books we can definitely ultimately comprehend them.

- For example, one type of whale is the sulfur-bottom, who has a yellow stomach probably from scraping against Hell. There are no other facts that are true about the sulfur-bottom, and anything else you may have gathered about them is probably a lie.

- Theologically, all existing names for whales are okay except for the stupid ones. The Black Fish is a stupid name, so it should be called the Hyena Whale. These are statements, not recommendations, and are once again based on vibes.

- There are a lot of reasons why Narwhales might have a horn, but probably the most vibe-based one is that it could use its horn to help it read small books. Think about it.

- Killer whales attack other whales by biting their lips.

- Biology aside, Whales can also be differentiated into Fast-Fish and Loose-Fish.

- “What are the Rights of Man and the Liberties of the World but Loose-Fish? What all men’s minds and opinions but Loose-Fish? What is the principle of religious belief in them but a Loose-Fish? What to the ostentatious smuggling verbalists are the thoughts of thinkers but Loose-Fish? What is the great globe itself but a Loose-Fish? And what are you, reader, but a Loose-Fish and a Fast-Fish, too?”

- Sperm Whales are the biggest of all things.

Etc. Etc. Ishmael’s voice throughout is of frantic, somewhat desperate persuasion mixed with last-minute undergraduate bullshit, swinging between lofty theological authority and accusing the reader of being a fish. Hanging out with Moby Dick and its jokes are like being in a room with someone very exhausting who constantly says things that are 65% true. Whales should best be taxonomically defined as books, and frankly, it’s none of your business why.

At some point you’re like, “Ishmael, I don’t think whales are fish,” and he’s already interrupting you with “the planet is a loose-fish,” and you’re like. Ishmael, words work best when they mean things. And he’s like: I Review The Top Five Whale Oils For Burning For Light (Number Four Will Surprise You.) also I’m absolutely trolling you.

And you’re like, okay Ishmael, I do know you’re trolling me, but how much of your own bullshit do you believe?

And he’s like, that’s exactly what a whale would say.

@hippofox it sure the fuck is

The biggest reason I am immune to getting sucked into this particular merry-go-round is that I have spent entirely too much time with this kind of person in my real actual life and I can’t even eventually grab Ishmael by the elbow and say very quietly “I swear by all the gods that if you don’t fucking stop it I will dislocate this”, as he is fictional and his writer is dead.

“if you think about it, a sperm whale’s phrenological profile is exactly like that of George Washington. one time I drank so much tea on a hot day that I started to emit vapor from my head (which is a sign of intelligence, you know). in this moment I too looked like a whale”

Don’t….. fuckin power wash your roof. Don’t let anyone power wash your roof.

Friend, from the tone of your words, I feel like you’ve just learnt a hard lesson here…

Fortunately no, it was an easy lesson I learned when I was seven when my dad was power washing the driveway and I asked if he was going to power wash the roof next and he explained to me that it would damage the roof because it was meant to handle rain and snow, which is never going to be as hard as a power washer.

Lots of people are learning this the hard way this year though. It’s a new scam. Someone knocks on your door and offers to wash your roof for two hundred bucks. “Damn, that’s a pretty good price,” you think, knowing that roofs require a huge chunk of change. The guy power washes the roof and leaves. It was a cash transaction, and he didn’t leave contact information, so when your roof starts leaking during the first rain, you have no one to contact to sue for damages and you’re stuck on the hook for replacing the roof yourself, which you either do yourself (cost of materials and many hours of your time) or you hire someone to do for you (which runs into the tens of thousands of dollars, an amount people normally can’t just drop).

Lots of new homeowners don’t know this stuff, and it would definitely behoove them to research it, but until they have the time to do that, I’m here to say: Don’t power wash your roof.

Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

thank u krash

NO WAY

So wait are livestock guardian dogs to their flocks like… Clark Kent among the residents of Smallville? He’s been here since he was a baby, we all know him, and he’s… generally one-of-us shaped, uh, approximately. And then when something goes wrong he suddenly leaps into action and does some terrifying impossible shit none of us could do. And then comes back home and settles in like nothing happened and he’s one of us again.

Hmm.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

that is CLEARLY two completely different dogs

podcasts based on what other weirdly specific media you like, based on vibes, genre, sense of humor, and what message the story is trying to teach you:

gravity falls/over the garden wall:

-welcome to night vale

-nowhere, on air

-where the stars fell

-monstrous agonies

-death by dying

andrew joseph white books:

-hello from the hallowoods

-the silt verses

-witherburn after school news

-the magnus archives

-alice isn't dead

-old gods of appalachia

she-ra, steven universe, etc:

-the orbiting human circus

-the penumbra podcast

-the bright sessions

doctor who:

-the strange case of starship iris

sherlock/other sort of aesthetic crime dramas/period pieces:

-wooden overcoats

-the kingmaker histories

-fawx and stallion

-sherlock & co.

(i know these categories make no cohesive sense i promise it made sense in my head)

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

I also love how audio fiction has always been a highly experimental medium, and likely always will be.

Financially, it has a low barrier for entry, a low point of diminishing returns, and a relatively small potential market. It's basically impervious to being taken over by giant studios - even the "big" networks like RQ would be considered indie in the film or game dev industries. With the exception of the BBC, they tend to dip their toes into audio fiction, figure out quickly that, although it's beloved by its fans, there isn't that kind of money in it, and proceed to leave us alone forever.

Then there's the fact that it propagates largely by word of mouth. Audio dramas owe everything to obsessive nerds forcing nearly everyone they know to listen to that podcast they just discovered.

So it's more about the thing being actually good, plus a decent amount of luck and persistence.

There's no optimally marketable success formula being relentlessly enforced by gatekeeping jellybean-counters because they don't exist here. So people make whatever they want. So it draws people to it who are looking for something different. And the cycle feeds itself, and the medium gets weirder (in a good way).

It may very well ALWAYS remain the wild west of storytelling.

So listeners tell your friends about that podcast!

And creators, make the weird thing! There are no rules! It can be an hour long or Breaker Whiskey short, or Re:Dracula all over the place length. It can be another tape recorder framing or another voicemail framing or basically just an audiobook. It can be any genre or blend of genres. This creative space gives us the opportunity to be our own target audience in a way rarely found elsewhere.

If you enjoy the thing you're making, odds are somone else out there will enjoy it too. I've already found this to be true, and my time as an audio fiction creator is still just beginning.

Peace and love on every planet, y'all!