I Write Meta Not Tragedies

Admittedly, hearing about Shadowheart getting drunk at the goblin party is 90% of why I simply had to do an evil Durge extravaganza, but having now experienced it:

Ngl I kinda want there to be a world in which my bard magically appears and saves my party from turning into their worst selves. Rampant video game murder and evil is more taxing than expected.

In the spirit of taking things seriously, The Dark Urge's name is Durk.

Dame Aylin with an ASMR account that's just her proudly sharing her exploits at the appropriate volume for such spectacular deeds.

Finished my first BG3 run! Most everyone lived (...sorry Moonrise tieflings, I did things out of order and I think that really made things awkward), and I love my companions so much.

Now to spend a run murdering everyone.

Though actually, if I wanted to do a Shadowheart/Lae'zel run, which one is better to play as?

What do you mean you can't romance Jaheira

I can't decide what I like best about this screenshot. Local possibly accidentally ace dragon bard is not here for this, Halsin.

The Last Time I Wanted to Kill Myself wasn't actually the last time, or even close, but it's the time that I always remember. A sheltered worldview exploding in tandem with mental illness no longer accepting repression as an option was going to create some bad feelings.

I was on my bed reading a letter from the government that was basically state-sponsored harassment at that point, and I couldn't imagine how the hell I was supposed to keep going in a world like this. I was helpless, evil was thriving, and I couldn't deal with it.

What shifted -- and not in a happy way, really, no longer having the fantasy of exiting was a new kind of depressing -- was the thought that if I chose to make it the end... that was it? That was my last feeling? That was the final note?

I do not want to die feeling that way. I am going to die smiling, I'm going to live a life that makes my only regret in the end that it will end.

No idea how, steps are always missing.

But these people don't get to take that away from me. Barring other incidents of violence, I will be here in four years, or ten, or however many it takes, and I will make the people in my life smile.

Shadowheart should be at the club.

In my mission to be an observer to (and hopefully fostering) an amazing Lae'zel-Shadowheart situationship, I am unfortunately stuck judging Lae'zel's idea of a thirst trap.

Ma'am. Ma'am. My avatar spent much of the fight becoming very acquainted with the taste of his own blood as his face was planted in it. On the ground. I realize you don't care that he's a stoner who happily agree to back-alley bardic surgery and the whole party is so self-absorbed that they're happy to project when it comes to motives, however.

BEHOLD, YOUR THIRST TRAP. HE SPENT THE FIRST MINUTE OF THIS GAME DYING BECAUSE HE WANTED TO KNOW IF FIRE HURT AND HAS NOT CHANGED.

I wish to exile Shadowheart from the party for killing Scratch and making me reload my save from twenty minutes prior.

No, we won't talk about how I ended up fighting Scratch. It wasn't on purpose. ;-;

...Oh heck I should be working on Drug AU.

For all the screwed up stuff about to happen and that is happening, and for all the inability to cope with it that's going to follow, let the record show that I just had an evening so good that I want to live forever just to feel that way again.

In right this second, I am so, so happy that I'm alive. Whatever I say after this point, whatever happens, this happened too: I am really, really happy.

...Okay I lied and Caitlyn is Batman but Batman in his Batman v Superman worst look but also she's Jason Todd and yes I have spent twenty minutes yelling about this on Discord.

Gonna be real with you folks. Arcane just fucking drop-kicked my psyche as it was coming back to shore. In a fun way, but also... shit, I'm not sure I can actually join the rest of this party. Certain kinds of tragedy are not my friends, and this is that all over.

Fucking sick, though. There's that.

Give me a miracle, God.

Give Your children a damn miracle. Give us that grace. Please.

The current state of my Three Houses copy from the library:

Golden Deer Playthrough (Complete): Vibing. Normal Classic. Accidentally kill Lorenz in the first battle because can't figure out which button turns back time. Befriending all of my house and stealing Blue Lions kids and finding an OT3 in Ingrid/Dorothea/Felix. Then I can't find any fic for my OT3 because of course. Starting philosophy: making the roleplaying decision that this will be a gay male Byleth route before the internet tells the tragedy of the choices. The game's cowardice leads to the natural runner up of going the selfcest route.

Blue Lions Playthrough (Incomplete): Hard Casual. The Blue Lions will be completely isolated. There will be no recruitments. The pressure will warp them into a codependent unit as their professor concentrates so thoroughly on them that they lose the opportunities of bonds elsewhere. Starting philosophy: romancing Rhea is possibly the most toxic choice available and I will make it happen.

I just spent my entire Golden Deer playthrough wondering why Edelgard being against the church was considered terrible when the bad vibes are so intense. I actively avoided any good interactions with Rhea, and somehow my head still winds up in her lap. Horrifically inappropriate. So help me I am compelled. Pretty sure by most metrics Rhea's a solid 7/10 on evil. This Byleth is going to simp for her and the world will be a worse place for it.