Avatar

first he bangs the drum then he bangs ya mum x

@glitterslag / glitterslag.tumblr.com

| lucy | 25 | she/her | ao3

Katherine with the Lazy Eye. Short. And Not a Good Poet

This morning, I heard you were found in your McDonald’s uniform. I heard it while I was visiting a lake town, where empty woodsy highways turn into waterside drives. I’d forgot my toothbrush and was brushing with my finger, when a friend who didn’t know you said he heard it like this: You know Katherine. Short. with a lazy eye. Poet. Not a very good one. Yeah, well she died.  the blue on that lake fogs off into the horizon like styrofoam. The picnic tables full of white people. I ask them where the coffee is. They say at Meijer. I wonder if you thought about getting out of Detroit. When you read at the open mike you’d point across the street at McDonald’s and told us to come see you. Katherine with the lazy eye. short and not a good poet, I guess I almost cried. I don’t know why, because I didn’t like you. This is the first time I remembered your name. I didn’t like how you followed around a married man. That your poems sucked and that I figured they were all about the married man. That sometimes you reminded me of myself, boy crazy. That sometimes I think people just don’t tell me that I’m kind of, well…slow. Katherine with the lazy eye, short. and not a good poet. I didn’t like your lazy eye always looking at me. That you called me by my name. I didn’t like you, since the first time I saw you at McDonald’s. You had a mop. And you were letting some homeless dude flirt with you. I wondered then, if you thought that was the best you could do. I wondered then if it was. Katherine with the lazy eye, short, and not a good poet. You were too silly to wind up dead in an abandoned building. I didn’t like you because, what was I supposed to tell you. What. Don’t let them look at you like that, Katherine. Don’t let them get you alone. You don’t get to laugh like that, like nothing’s gonna get you. Not everyone will forgive the slow girl. Katherine with the fucked up eye, short. Poetry sucked, musta’ knew better. I avoided you in the hallway. I avoided you in lunch line. I avoided you in the lake. I avoided you. My lazy eye. Katherine with one hideous eye, shit. Poetry for boys again, you should have been immune. you were supposed to be a cartoon. your body was supposed to be as twisted as it was gonna get. Short. and not a good poet. Katherine with no eye no more. I avoided you, hated it, when you said my name. I really want to leave Detroit. Katherine the lazy short. not a good poet. and shit. Somewhere someone has already asked what was she like, and a woman has brought out her wallet and said This is her. This is my beautiful baby.

francine j. harris in Rattle, Winter 2010 (h/t)

you know what? it's funny how thin white celebrities mention women nd y'all will freak out nd make them trend bc 'lgbt icons!!!!!!' but black women like meg thee stallion talk abt liking girls nd y'all silent nd when niecy nash has a whole GAY WEDDING the website silent? hmmmmm it's almost like..... certain groups of ppl are excluded from gay communities

David Lynch's memoir/bio "Room to Dream" starts off, "You can dissect someone's childhood searching for clues that explain the person the child grew up to be. But more often than not there is no inciting incident, no Rosebud." The next chapter proceeds to explain Everything About His Whole Deal

Like yes I do agree that people too often look for Childhood Explanations to try and neatly summarize a person's psychology and it's rarely ever that simple. But also it's very hard to read about Lynch's childhood and not narrow your eyes and go "Huh. Okay... this makes a lot of things make sense"

"GREW UP IN SMALL TOWN AMERICA IN THE 1950s TO KIND PARENTS AND LOVING FRIENDS. MY HOBBIES WERE BUILDING BOMBS AND KISSING GIRLS. I WITNESSED SO MUCH SPOUSAL ABUSE AND ALSO ONE OF MY EX GIRLFRIENDS WAS PROBABLY KILLED BY HER HUSBAND AND THE MURDER COVERED UP BY THE COPS. I LOVE PIE"

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.