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thoughts meander like a restless wind

@greisekinderschar / greisekinderschar.tumblr.com

clou ✧ 27 ✧ she/her john lennon hobby psychologist. the amazing devil cult member. dandelion’s disappointed mother. radovid supporter. m. junius brutus the younger apologist.

the amazing devil’s music is so funny. it’s like. we wrote this song by imagining standing on top of a mountain to scream about alcoholism. let’s write a song about daddy issues but make it feral forest folk and imagine it taking place at renaissance fair. now we’re horny and thinking about how cool and epic sex is. what if we were pirates but in like a recovering from trauma way

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

Cool how someone can wax rhetoric about their incompetent partner being unpleasant but I'm suddenly the asshole for being like, idk sounds like you're with someone who sucks. "You don't know them like I do" okay!! Notice how there's no way I'd know that since you haven't shared anything positive!

The bulk of heterosexual humor appears to be "joking rant about real grievances" and the expectation is you join in with your own (gendered) horror stories and when you're like "I don't have this issue and maybe you shouldn't either," you've broken an unspoken rule about joint suffering

Everyone's doing them so I had to join the fun.

It bothered me how american/british the lists were so I made my own. And I mostly skipped the most obvious foreign ones like WKW, Miyazaki, Bong Joon Ho, Park Chan Wook, Amelie, Portrait of a Lady on Fire etc. So now tell me the percentage and if it's low, promise me you will try to watch some of these, okay?

‘But to Sam the evening deepened to darkness as he stood at the Haven; and as he looked at the grey sea he saw only a shadow on the waters that was soon lost in the West. There still he stood far into the night, hearing only the sigh and murmur of the waves on the shores of Middle-earth, and the sound of them sank deep into his heart.’
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