A new apple, for everyone in the world

huh weird.

guy who gets increasingly confused when an 80’s song fades out so he turns it up louder and louder and gets blasted so hard by the next song starting that he dies

if you dont want cishet kevin to become a fascist you have to invite him to your trans girl friend group and be a 24/7 transfeminism educator with no free time for just enjoying life with other trans women without having to spend it teaching cishet kevin how to not be a transmisogynist

Puppy

the kindly chaser...

💖 ＭＡＤＯＫＡ ★ ＥＮＥＲＧＹ ⚡️

[PART I: MADOKA]

“Battle the entropy of the universe with MADOKA ★ ENERGY!”

taught my little brother to replace "im gonna kill myself" with "im killing a hostage" and it was a success #oldestsiblingwisdom

Being trans and working in an office is funny sometimes

My boss: I have a question for you

Me, thinking: oh fuck I messed something up didn't I

My boss: a personal question

Me, still thinking: ah, this is about my penis. I know these matters well

You truly are a fucking saint and I hope that kid knows you're the reason why because I would've KILLED for that kind of leeway as a teenager

Be careful though, some day you'll get blind sided. When I worked in pharmaceutical manufacturing I never really came out as trans, but I still didn't pass well and often talked about things that would only have happened if I'd been born female. I never came out, but I knew everyone knew. One day, one of my more socially unaware coworkers asked if he could ask me a personal question. I said sure, and he lead me away from the group to a side hallway where no one else was around. And then he dropped the question:

"If they made a real jurassic park, would you go?"

into great silence

[Image ID: Post from Slippy (@/ damnSlippy.slippy.me) reading: Sincerely delighted to discover, 45 minutes into this nearly-wordless three-hour documentary about French monks who take vows of silence, is that among the reasons they *can* talk is "to make sure they monastery cats know when it's mealtime by making little kitty-calling noises at them." /End ID]

so when food is too salty we might say "打死卖盐的" basically meaning "did you beat the salt merchant to death" but one time in an attempt to be a little polite and a little funny to the chef (my mother) i said "……是不是又跟卖盐的有矛盾了" meaning "are you... having a dispute with the salt merchant again" and now it's a whole thing in my family

anyway point being there has been another altercation with the salt merchant

the utena vn is so fucking funny bc there's a part where you can ask utena if she has a girlfriend and she's like 😒 oh you thought I was a boy because of my uniform. well I'm not I'm a GIRL and it's very embarrassing for the player character but then literally like a minute later you meet wakaba for the first time and she introduces herself by saying "hi, I'm wakaba, I'm utena's girlfriend"

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

before twitter goes, here’s my favorite tweet of all time

before twitter goes, here’s my favorite tweet of all time