laurèns

@hamletauxherbes / hamletauxherbes.tumblr.com

vivre libre ou mourir | les mis, mostly | he/him | 22 | fr/eng

“if you cannot love me, i will die. before you came i wanted to die, i have told you many times. it is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody.”

im like, putting all my soul in this fic, i almost don't care if it's good or not. my whole personnality is in it. the songs, the poems, the ideas, my tears. i love art

so, in my fic grantaire just asked enjolras "aren't you scared?" and now im Thinking: was enjolras scared during the barricade? of course, if i was, he didn't show it. the chapter "the horizon which one behold from the summit of the barricade" (5.1.5) is about his "supreme melancoly". but was he scared tho? what did he feel? what can one feel during this situation?

There was only one instance iirc where it said he was momentarily scared: when they were asking for volunteers to raise the flag again, "[t]he bravest hesitated to pronounce his own condemnation. Enjolras himself felt a thrill." (4.14.1), which is soo interesting bc this was the first time he was almost face-to-face with certain death, and it was enough to send a shiver down his spine.

IMO, I think after this, plus the earlier Le Cabuc scene where Enjolras tells them: "I have judged myself also, and you shall soon see to what I have condemned myself." (4.12.8), he has already resigned /himself personally/ to death. He still has faith in the barricade and in their cause, but he kinda knew what was coming for himself by the end of all this, and so never really felt much fear again. Or perhaps he still felt fear, but knew that there was nothing to stop the end from coming anyways, and decided to focus on something more worthwhile.

(I do like musical interpretations where Enjolras does show a bit of fear at moments too 🤭 when he nearly gets shot but Valjean takes out the sniper instead; many Enjolrai have different ways to react to that, but I always love those that flinch and look startled)

so, in my fic grantaire just asked enjolras "aren't you scared?" and now im Thinking: was enjolras scared during the barricade? of course, if i was, he didn't show it. the chapter "the horizon which one behold from the summit of the barricade" (5.1.5) is about his "supreme melancoly". but was he scared tho? what did he feel? what can one feel during this situation?

im reading julius caesar for the first time because i'm going to see it on stage! i like to ask: what do you find interesting about this play? what makes you like it?

it's so hard to write!!! how do we even write dialogs. i think i lost the ability to understand any language.

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