i'm but a humble cooking wizard

y’all expose yourselves and take this fanfic test i was just forced to by an irl so now i’m making you too

In my weak defense I’m in a lot of smaller or old fandoms and you take what you get. Also i don’t usually use the exclude option and i love when the crack is treated seriously.

[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #prev 20 is Wild i don't wanna see ur ao3 history that's between u and god /End ID]

Ben Daniels as Santiago INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.02: DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE LOVED BY DEATH.

Owning a chimpanzee is unethical and dangerous but keeping an orangutan is actually fine as long as you give it an astrolabe, several worn volumes of esoterica and a meditation chamber

WIP, leather, based off this 16th century ‘shame’ mask.

Yo I feel like the idea that the only historical women who counted are the ones who defied society and took on the traditionally male roles is… not actually that feminist. It IS important that women throughout history were warriors and strategists and politicians and businesswomen, but so many of us were “lowly” weavers and bakers and wives and mothers and I feel like dismissing THOSE roles dismisses so many of our mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers and the shit they did to support our civilization with so little thanks or recognition.

YES. This is such an important point. Those ‘girly’ girls doing their embroidery and quilting bees and grass braiding were vital parts of every domestic economy that has ever existed.

This is precisely what chaps my hide so badly about the misuse of the quote “Well-behaved women seldom make history,” because this is precisely what the author was actually trying to say.

Laurel Thatcher Ulrich is a domestic historian who developed new methodologies to study well-behaved women because they were

1) so vital, and

2) their lives were rarely recorded in the usual old sources.

“Hoping for an eternal crown, they never asked to be remembered on earth. And they haven’t been. Well-behaved women seldom make history; against Antinomians and witches, these pious matrons have had little chance at all. Most historians, considering the domestic by definition irrelevant, have simply assumed the pervasiveness of similar attitudes in the seventeenth century.”

Original article: “Vertuous Women Found: New England Ministerial Literature, 1668-1735” (pdf download from Harvard)

If you didn’t know: Abagail Adams (John Adams’ wife) led a very successful effort to fund the American Revolution. How did she and her tiny army of women do it?

They made lace, and sold it to the aristocrats. Real lace (the stuff you see on old outfits in museums, not the machine-made stuff you might be familiar with from today) is stupidly difficult to make, takes a lot of time and skill, and, well:

If you watch this through, you’ll hear her say this is DOMESTIC lace. This is not fancy, this is for household objects. You can imagine what it would take to make some of the elaborate pieces you see on old aristocratic clothing, and see why it was so expensive and valuable. (Incidentally, if you’ve ever heard the music from the musical 1776, in the song where Abagail and John are trading letters and he’s like “ma’am we need saltpeter” and she’s like “dude we need pins,” THIS IS WHAT THEY NEEDED THE PINS FOR. That song was based on real letters between the two.)

And this is all those revolutionary Revolutionary women did, every free moment of every day. They pulled out their pins and their bobbins and they made lace until they couldn’t see straight, and they sold it to revolutionaries and royalists alike, anyone who would pay. Yard upon yard upon yard of lace to earn cash to translate into rations and bullets.

The war was won by a women’s craft. Not even a “vital” women’s craft like cooking or cleaning. It was won by making a luxury item whose entire purpose was to say “look how wealthy I am, I can afford all this lace.”

Lace was not the only source of income for the Revolution. But it was a major one, and it is extremely fair to say it turned the tide.

And until this post, I bet you didn’t know.

Until this post you didn’t know, because it’s not true. It is not fair at all to say it turned the tide, because in real life, it did not. Prismatic-bell got Revolutionary War history mixed up with a subplot from Eragon where the rebel princess funds her rebellion against the dragon emperor with lace like this (and a huge deal is that she’s using magic to make it, to undercut the local lacemakers).

That thing with Abigail Adams and lace did not happen. I went looking. I scoured JSTOR and my university library collections. I asked my friends who are into textile history. I read a book full of all the Adamses’ collected letters to each other. No reference to lacemaking ever came up anywhere. (In fact, there’s a letter in which she asks John Adams to send her cloth and handkercheifs from Europe that she could sell for a profit back home to make money for what appears to be her own family/household; here’s another with a similar request from 1780. Funding the war is not mentioned.) Here’s a record of Martha Jefferson buying lace in 1778, so she probably wasn’t making it! Here’s a letter from John Adams in 1778 suggesting sumptuary laws to stop people from wearing too much ribbon and lace, because mostly it was coming from England and he didn’t want American money going to England! Here’s a 1780 record of a conflict over profits of selling French fabric and lace in America, something that didn’t stop and was still very profitable. These are the kind of things that come up when you search for Revolutionary War era primary source references to “lace.” You can look at them yourself. Massive quantities of American lacemaking by Revolutionary women to fund the Rev War just did not happen.

The pins thing, meanwhile, is because pins were imported from England, and were being jacked up in price massively—and probably refer to dress pins for securing clothing, not needlework or lacemaking.

prismatic-bell truly just Says Shit. Which is unfortunate that xe also hijacks otherwise true and meaningful posts to do so.

better yet

mutuals what perfume or cologne do you use? 👀

I was transed by the eye-witness book about mummies.

Okay, but they had this blurb about this mummy that they found from first-century Alexandria that they thought was female because its wrappings are clearly designed to suggest a woman's body, but then they x-rayed it and determined that it was biologically male, and as a kid it just got my brain working about why anyone would do that and how I kind of wanted them to do that with my body after I died and why did I kind of want that and...

Yeah. I got my egg cracked by the mummified corpse of a transgender woman who lived and died 2,000 years before I was born.

“if future archaeologists dig up your bones they’ll know you were born a -“ haha yeah they better! I’m gonna crack someone’s egg in the year 3320 and nobody can stop me!!

🎶Mummifying trans girls! Ancient Egypt!🎵

No nuance

Surprisingly high percentage for Yes

“When you’re mean to me this is who ur being mean to” meme with Sanrio characters and small kitten is overused. Trite. It’s done I can’t relate. When ur mean to me this is who you’re being mean to:

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

Pictish drip was insane. Look at this choker:

Chances are thats going to be the only thing a Pict warrior is wearing as he charges at you naked covered in blue paint and screaming with a sword in hand

Loveee that illustration on the left with the chain on. Definitely worn by the sexiest bitch above the Antonine Wall circa 400 AD.

bring this back

can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i know your sizes go all the way up to 5x. but can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i heard you're woman-owned. can i please see a fat woman wearing it though. yes, i understand you donate 50% of proceeds to this charity. i still do not see a fat woman wearing it. can i please see a fat woman wearing it.

but if we show you a fat woman wearing it then you will know that we just sized up the straight sizes without making any other adjustments and therefore it will look like shit. and then allllllll you mean, ugly fat ladies won’t buy it, even though we magnanimously offered you enormous ill-fitting tent clothes, and we will have no choice but to end our plus-sized line due to costs. and it’s all your fault.

not to be a killjoy but it's still crazy to me that it's considered mean to be like "maybe you should read / play / watch the source material before creating fanworks and diving into the fandom" bc every time i see somebody going "i havent played disco elysium or know anything about it tbh but uwu here's harry and kim kissing" idk maybe you should engage with it. maybe you should play the anti-capitalist surrealist game where you investigate the murder of a mercenary who led the gang rape of a foreign girl and process that for a bit? and then you can do cutesy mlm or whatever idc. but like at the absolute bare minimum you should understand what the source material involves otherwise we get the phenomenon of people joining a dragon age server and wanting content warnings for like, mage racism. like it's fine to ship and transform the genre into whatever but if you arent comfortable with discussions of the actual source content itself then maybe the fandom isnt for you and a different one is. peace and love.