hel7l7

Hi,

I hope so! :)

I'm looking into getting it published in Dutch first. Since that's my first language and I wrote it in Dutch.

If it's possible and if people are interested I will definitely look into publishing in English as well!

So please let me know if you're interested, because if more people are interested I will def try to make it happen!

Love, Bear

I’ll try to make art this weekend!

My shoulder injury was getting better but now it’s getting worse again. And I can’t handle it. It feels so stupid but I just need this body to be mine. I need to feel some sort of control. I have to be the one who hurts it. It can’t be any other way. I can’t deal with that. It has to be mine and mine alone. I need the control. I’m so triggered by this and it feels so stupid. I feel so powerless and vulnerable and weak and I just feel like a big baby bcs im crying about such a small problem. But I just miss bouldering, even though I’m not good at it, it just was this nice thing in my week and it helped me feel good. And now my body is failing me and I’m scared it won’t heal. I’m scared this is the consequences of 10 years of an eating disorder. I’m scared it’s all catching up to me somehow and that there’s no one else to blame but myself (once again).

I just want to know what’s wrong with my shoulder. I want to know how to fix it. When it will be fixed again… I try to follow up the advice of my physio and I’ll also ask my GP about it when I see them next week.

(I’m taking a break from insta so that’s why I’m here :))

I can’t stand feeling so scared all the time

Thank you dear <3

It's a long story lmao ;)

Did I deserve it?

I feel sick when I think about it

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All this anger was pain

I still hear your voice in my head

I don’t trust them

I still feel like everyone is mad at me all the time

I still don't know how to carry that pain

Do you have to be so mean?

Can I make it come undone?

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