a very dramione valentine’s day to the lovely @driventodramione! x
get to know me [ 3/? films ] ≡ the social network (2010) - dir. david fincher whatever it is that’s gonna trip you up, you’ve done already. private behavior is a relic of a time gone by - and if somehow, someway, you’ve managed to live your life like the dalai lama, they’ll make shit up. because they don’t want you. they want your idea.
get to know me [ 7/? films] –– ATONEMENT, dir. Joe Wright
How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? Do you have to be eighteen? Do you have to be eighteen before you can bring yourself to own up to a lie? There are soldiers of eighteen old enough to be left to die on the side of the road! Did you know that? Five years ago you didn’t care about telling the truth. You and all your family, you just assumed that for all my education, I was still little better than a servant, still not to be trusted. Thanks to you, they were able to close ranks and throw me to the fucking wolves!
I feel so fucking lucky to have been shaped into the person I am today by One Direction. 2024 me does not exist as I am today, without them. How lucky am I to have be changed by them. I’m here today on this tumblr, with all of you- friends, mutuals, strangers- because of them. One Direction will always be woven into the fabric of my memories, experiences and dreams. That is a truth that cannot change. I am so so lucky to have loved them and be loved by so many of you because of them. Wow.
Sometimes l'm late because I sit like this for a long time
one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.
and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words
let me tell yall something…. I thought I knew what being hurt was until 5 days ago. Since Wednesday.., that has done irreparable damage to my heart and soul.
From finding out while driving around 3-3:30pm that day, pulling over to read all the articles/tweets bc ain’t no way, the live tweets from Argentina fans, all the articles and media being that headline, to fucking tmz posting part of his body (a big fuck you to them bc what the actual fuck is wrong with them??????), to reading everyone’s post about how this can’t be true and they won’t believe it until family/friends say something, to the rest who started saying their goodbyes, to the two-faced bxtches who were hating on him not that long ago for going to Niall’s concert now posting their hypocritical comments, to those who bullied him WAY BEFORE MH’s allegations now posting how “sad” they are, the media using his name every chance they get, the boys’ statements, his family’s statements, his friends statements, some of yall harassing them to say something ???????, showing up to his house????, showing up to his family and friends houses????, knowing his son will read everything one day…, many degrading him for his addiction, the memorials/tributes being held for him worldwide, the pics of the skies and butterflies, everyone getting tattoos, to seeing his dxad uncensored body on my tl unprovoked, realizing that his family found out through the media (again FUCK YOU TMZ), Geoff being accompanied by both of their old bodyguards to Argentina, fans protecting him from the paps, the amount of pics of him smiling on my tl… and so soo much more…
(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I, in no way, am saying don’t hold him accountable for what MH has said. Believe the victims!!!! And y’all are sick for sending her hate/death threats for this.. idk if it’s true or not bc I didn’t even know about her book until the day of his passing. But he deserved to be held responsible, if true. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
But y’all are so fucking ridiculous for hating on him before any of that came out, and now saying how much you loved him and how much he means to you all for some hit tweets/posts. Nothing, and I truly mean NOTHING, would make me forgive yall. Sure yall can learn from this but holy fucking shit, how many people have to die first for y’all to realize your words/actions affect people??? Yall hate on someone until they die and all of a sudden it’s “omg they didn’t deserve that 💔” as if yall weren’t part of the problem. Fuck all of you who jumped on the hate trend. “Im just joking” “it’s just Liam” “he doesn’t read any of it” he said he’s read it. He’s seen all of them. His family and friends writing that media weren’t kind to him.. fuck all of you hypocrites. Yall are shit and I hope the guilt eats you idc.
Nothing has hurt me more ever since Wednesday. Finding out about everything all at once has put me in a conflicting state of emotions. But what I know for sure is that this, what I’m feeling, is true epitome of hurt. And it’s a selfish feeling bc I didn’t know him personally.. but I knew him. Parasocially, yeah. But I knew him. For 13 years. More than half of my life at 25. “You don’t know him like that “ “he doesn’t know you exist” yeah, so? Do you want me to beg you to understand? Or give you an explanation on why I’m allowed to feel the way I do? Bc I don’t have to. And I won’t. I know there’s millions who feel the same way.
Liam.. I still can’t believe that you’re gone. Idk if it’s bc I can’t grasp the truth or bc I don’t want to..
I can’t say goodbye yet. Please give me a bit of time to fully understand this. Or to come to terms with it. All of it.
You deserved better.
You deserved to be well.
You deserved to be surrounded by better people.
All the love poured out for you in these last few days, you deserved all these years ago.
The world was not kind to you for as long as I could remember. And I wish we could’ve properly shield you from it.
From everything I have in me.. heart, body, and soul.. I am so sorry we couldn’t help you the way you helped us.
SABRINA CARPENTER performing at the Short n' Sweet Tour in Philadelphia