Pinned
Huelwens my name and poetry is my game
They/he|genderfluid|queer
Your mum's favourite british 20 something
I started writing poetry as an outlet during a pretty rough time in my life and its grown into something beautiful.im slowly tidying up my tumblr and will be terrorising other platforms soon.im also slowly writing again so I hope you enjoy<3
Hand me the dagger and let me drag it down my chest
Watch the tears stream down my face as I slowly rip through every layer
Blood gushing out and staining anything that's too near
Then yank it out without a second thought
I wont serve it you on silver platter
I wont make it neat and tidy
This isn't some curated museum with things locked away
Everything is out and open
With no glass to separate or protect
The tide came in some time ago
My head screamed move but my base stood strong
My heart beat up my chest but my base sunk itself further into the sand
By now it's up to my neck
It'll soon drown me
Silently
Gone
I'll slowly be worn down by the waves
Crumbling down into little pieces
Before being taken back to shore
Maybe I'll become a rock in someone's pocket
Or The thing you kick when you think of them
Maybe something worthy to bring to show and tell
Or sit on a shelf of prized possessions
Never knowing if I'll be one man's trash
Or another's treasure
In the centre of my garden is a rafflesia
Framed with beautiful roses,sweetpeas and jasmine
However they are overpowered
By the overwhelming stench
It was not planted by me
It came with the garden
I know i need to get rid of it
As its all me or anyone can focus on
But the roots are deep in the soil
So i focus on planting more sweet smelling flowers
Until I have the energy to dig deep and be rid of it for good
Gentle breeze,storm or hurricane
No matter how frantically the vane spins
It'll settle facing you
I let the winds of change guide me
Even if it leaves my heart and head spinning
Because it's all worth it when I face you
โโโ โโ โ๏ธ โ โ โโโ
It is time to say my farewell to the fields,
A hello to the lavender farm,
Where perhaps new flowers can grow, safely
New lives can form,
And at least there i am always welcome.
I say my farewell to the fields,
because i have to go back to the lavender farm,
I am not saying farewell to you, so please meet me there, under the moon, and we can write, and sing like the owls do, so that the morning birds can sing the same song.
With every drop of rain, every little sound, singing i love you, i love you, all over again.
โโโ โโ โฐ๏ธ โ โ โโโ
Iโll see you from afar, your rays of sun still shining
โโโ โโ โพ โ โ โโโ
I finally have found, the place where i was born, i have found a temporary home, who knows how long it will take, for drought to come. At least then can it rain, once again.
โโโ โโ เผ โ โ โโโ
Shit how fast the time flies
But I think the past year has made me wise
I wish I could go back and not be such a twat
Sit there calmly and state every fact
Sadly that didn't happen gods I wish I could take it back
I really deserved that reality check
I really did you lot dirty
I don't deserve any of your mercy
It dosent matter to you or me the dark place I was in
It dosent change my sins
mum always taught me two wrongs don't make a right
While most of us are covered in eachovers blood I never should've added my spite
It dosent matter if you lied to me or on my name
I will always take my side of the blame
You hide yourself away and why? Because someone told you, you were too senstive
You were raised in a world that praises stone so when you broke they called you too senstive
Your emotions are a technicolour fantasy with hues more vast than nature itself
Yet they dont want to stray from blacks,whites and greys so instead they call you too senstive
Your soul is blinding pure light,my own personal lighthouse leading me to your safety
They would rather navigate the dark than be blessed by anothers light so they call you too senstive
Your heart is a kaleidoscope:eternally beautiful,forever unique, always changing
They would rather stare at the same mass produced painting so they call you too senstive
Cariad please don't pay them any mind they say the same things about me too
It is all deflection the harshness hurts them but they are scared to be too senstive
Yada yada yada their empty words hit me like shards
Spam swipe righters,rebound hunters,Dating app die-hards
I am not a human,i am their new hottest bit of merchandise
The boss decides I don't serve their enterprise
Then sends me off with best regards
One or two lines
Only the universe will decide
For those five minutes you are a mere character
In the universes interactive story
One or two lines
This could change everything
Did I make a mistake?
Did I make the wrong choices?
Or was it just a bad roll of the dice
Two lines
And while they say you have choices;
They don't say the pressure you face.
Keep it and you've thrown your life away
Abort it and you're told how this clump of cells can transform your life or atleast someone else's
Give it up and you're told you've bought a child into a fucked up system
One line
you'd think you'd be free
But all you can think of is hypothetical two lines.
You see the good and the bad
Feel guilt for the tiny part of you that wants a second Line
While fully knowing that's for your future
When it's not like this or not with them
Mixed with joy that you have time
Before making a life altering choice
One line...
...its one line
A bittersweet celebration while disposing of any evidence that it ever took place
The world keeps turning
While pepole who will never have to look for one line or two
Who will never know the fear of a second Line
Decide what happens when two lines appear
How can I not love deeply
When regardless of where we come from
What we belive or
When we tread the earth
There have always been stories of a greater love
Dwynwen wished for lovers to love free when this had been forbidden for her
Aset searched the nile for usir to put her love back together
Demter could no longer work when her daughter couldn't be in her arms
All around me I see is love folklore in the making
I tell pepole about the gods and saints
But I tell them about my loved ones too
Who fight for their loves
In a more mundane but still powerful way
Mortal,God or Saint
We bleed love
We exhale love
Any existence is love
I'll never forget the tapestry above your bed
Complex and mesmerising
So many possibilities
Yet all of them so familiar
We'd lay under it weaving our own
Threads from the past that we wouldn't be without
Threads from the present that we'd picked together
Threads we admired and wanted to add in the future
Our hands moved slowly
Helping eachover place the Threads
Creating intricate images
Showing the journey of us
I made a mistake
The tapestry unravelled
In the mess it was hard to tell
Who's thread was who's
We both just wanted to leave and made silent blind guesses
When I went home to weave
I discovered some of your Threads
I wove them into my new tapestry
Creating constilations,starlight and the many faces of the moon
So I couldn't forget my mistakes too soon
By chance I found your tapestry
It's beautiful
It's new
But I still know its you
I thought you might have binned my Threads
But I see myself there
You turned my Threads into oceans and whale sharks
In a way we are still woven
Although we no longer have a shared tread
I was glad you were part of my tapestry
Even if I'm not sure
Your proud I'm part of yours
I wish I could re-edit this book
But all I have is the afterword
I wish I could change all the misinformed things I wrote
I wish I could take back what characters did and said to eachover
I wish I could change the narrative and be a better narrator
But I can't all I have is this afterword
I want to write a new book
But I can't without my old
Without it I could never write better
And would loose good characters
All acknowledged in the afterword
I am no coward
I will Start on my new book
And it shall be a sequel
All of it will be said in the foreword
My chest has a window
Framing it are the words:
Incase of love Break glass
It doesn't matter what I wear to hide it
Or my pleas that its too soon-
And this is getting expensive-
They Break the glass
They yank out my heart
Bounce it up and down
Poke and squish
Until they break the heart
The plaything is broken
Their covered in nothing usable
Only temporary shame that'll get wiped off
So they can claim they never broke the heart
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free ๐ต๐ธ
Grand gestures are not for the lovers but for the onlookers themselves
A brief glimpse through rose tinted glasses
Before they crick crack once their front door slams behind them
One will keep holding on to final fraying thread because of them
And one will do them just enough to make them stay
The true grand gestures are the little gestures
The things that happen when the worlds just them
Or when there eyes meet in a crowd
It's staying up a little-
Okay alot-
Longer to make sure there home safe from there shift
It's opening your door so they can have a hug at the end of a rough day
It's making little orgami hearts
It's both of you cheering eachover on
All of them make up this grand thing called love
The ultimate grand gesture
