dim - march 27 - jegulus - trans!regulus - based on an anonymous request - cw: dysphoria - word count: 552
Regulus shot upright in bed, greasy, tangled curls plastered to his head and face, clothes in disarray. “Who-”
But he fell silent when he saw who was at the door of the dorm room, his stomach sinking to his toes. “I don’t want you here, James,” he murmured, sinking back into his bed and pulling the blankets. “And fuck you, Barty, for letting him in.”
“You know I’m worried about you, mate. I’m just trying-”
“Both of you leave now or I’ll hex you so horribly you won’t know where one of you starts and the other ends.”
But even as the door swung closed a few moments later, Regulus registered the presence of someone, and he knew James had stayed.
“Fuck off, James,” he mumbled into his pillow, hating himself for what he was saying. James was so good, so kind, he didn’t deserve-
Gentle hands pulled him around so, suddenly, he was being cradled into the older boy’s arms. Even in the dim light, he could make out the concern in his hazel eyes. “I don’t need help,” he whispered, but his resolve was breaking–it was clear in his tone.
“Frankly, I don’t care,” James replied, smiling a bit as he pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to his hair.
It took Regulus a total of one minute for his tense muscles to relax into James’s hold. Slowly, he buried his head into the older boy’s chest.
“And yesterday. And the day before,” Regulus admitted, biting his lip. His dysphoria hadn’t been this bad in a long time. He hadn’t been able to get out of bed other than to go to the bathroom for a day, and he’d been unable to look in the mirror or shower for almost three days, now.
James made a little noise that sounded like a wounded animal. “Baby,” he said, knitting his eyebrows together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Guilt flooded his body. “You’re studying for NEWTS. You don’t need me bothering-” he started to explain, but the older boy interrupted right away.
“No. Shut up,” James cut him off, shaking his head. “You’re more important than a million tests. Regulus, I love you. And I’m here to help.”
He felt so small in James’s arms. The horrible stomach aches and prickling goosebumps that always haunted him when he was feeling like this eased just a bit. “It’s stupid,” he mumbled.
“It’s not,” James insisted.
He sat there for a long while, turning the words over and over in his head, trying to believe them. “I…can you…” he tried to ask, but he couldn’t quite get the words out.
“Anything, love. What do you need?” the Gryffindor asked, a genuine look on his face.
“Will you sit in the bathroom while I shower? Not to–y’know. Just because…it helps. A distraction,” he shrugged, feeling ridiculous again.
But James smiled. “Of course!” he stood up, pulling Regulus with him. “Shall I tell you jokes to distract you? Did you hear the one about the five hundred bricks on the top of a Muggle airplane?”
Regulus, who had heard that joke from James far too many times to count, groaned. But as he followed his boyfriend into the bathroom, a small smile was playing on his lips.
