Okay, so. Yesterday, my spouse's cat (my beloved, furry stepdaughter) was suddenly very sick. Spouse had the car on the opposite end of the state for work, so I walked down the road to the local vet. Unfortunately, she needed to be rushed to the emergency vet in the next town over, so I had to order an Uber and cross my fingers.

Enter Donald, a gay Puerto Rican man who rolls up in an electric Kia with a rainbow Zelda shirt. I know he is Puerto Rican because that is the theme of his car's decor. He's probably in his late forties. He's gushing over the cat but his demeanor changes when I tell him how sick she is and how I need to get her to the ER. He solemnly informs me, "I'll take care of it," and RIPS out of the parking lot of my building.

Dude is flooring it. The entire time he is sending his husband text-to-speech messages about, "Going to the vet, do you want me to go in and talk to them?" He informs me that he actually needed to go speak to the vet at this clinic anyway--his dog who he just had to put down yesterday went there for renal failure treatments--and that "fate brought us together." He tells the cat to hang in there, that, "Girl, I will take care of you."

He turns on his emergency blinkers. He's weaving through traffic like he used to professionally race. Any gap he sees, he takes it. It is terrifying but I am in awe.

We get to blocked traffic because it is rush hour. He asks me if I trust him. I tell him, "I guess I have to in this situation," and he nods and swings into the shoulder, guns it, whips around the traffic, and takes off on a side road. The GPS means nothing to him. He knows exactly where he's going and he is beating the traffic jams for the sake of the cat. She can't wait.

When we pull into the vet clinic, he goes in with me. As my cat is taken in, he asks me if I want to see pictures of his late dog. He shows me a picture of a chihuahua in a bow tie and it is the cutest fucking dog I've ever seen. He tells me how his husband is a dog trainer and the dog had been around the world, and that this vet is a good one and my cat will be fine.

I compliment his shirt and he nods like Arnold at the end of Terminator 2. Then he just marches out the door.

Anyway. The cat is staying overnight at the emergency vet but seems to be doing fine aside from not wanting to eat. Apparently, this is a $2.5k case of "your cat has a cold and is constipated, and what you thought was respiratory distress was her gagging on snot while nauseous." We pick her up sometime today.

Wherever you are, thank you, Donald. My spouse left you a tip higher than the cost of the trip because you are awesome and your dedication to our cat was inspiring. 10/10, I would endanger myself on the road with you again.

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you

I'm just saying

(my contribution to this poll)

not only did irvin die for helly r he died doing what she loved doing most (trying to kill her outie)

Okay okay I've got one I think will be fun!!

Spin this wheel of like 160ish fandoms of varying levels of popularity.

Extra points for telling me all about your thoughts in the tags :D

John Turturro on working with Christopher Walken in Severance.

A true successor of Thomas Edison

surprise surprise

finally some good fucking salt over thomas eddison on this site

it’s also not even HIS money, it’s his father’s money, made from apartheid emerald mining. that money was made from the blood and suffering of countless poor people of color so the rich could wear pretty rocks.

elon musk has never done or made anything valuable or worthwhile in his life.

Tesla was founded in 2003 by Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning.

I think it would be funny if this fun fact became common knowledge.

I’m like 80% convinced Agatha sunk the titanic because Rio was ignoring her

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would meet someone for 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

begging you people to just be normal about today's episode. "oh we did not get an agathario kiss" "i dont care about billy" "worst episode ever"... but we did get a gay kiss in a MARVEL show on fucking DISNEY PLUS. isnt that something to be happy about? that we're getting more queer rep in marvel? or are people just watching the show for agatha and rio? fuck the lore then? fuck the storytelling? fuck everything? oh please

Personally I think it makes more sense for a relationship that was established in the second episode of the show to get a kiss before the intense, charged main romantic relationship that they're obviously building up to, I want an agathario kiss as well but why are people upset that they assumed the intimacy coordinator was for agathario and now are mad that the scenario they made up in their head wasn't reality? No one ever alluded to the intimacy coordinator being for them and it feels odd to get upset that there's a different queer kiss in a Marvel project. There are still 3 episodes of the show left and people are acting like the seasons ended and there was no lesbian kiss, agatha is not a romantic TV show and it never promised to be and honestly how often does a main pairing in a show get together before the very end? I understand we're all starved for lesbian content but have yall ever watched a TV show in your life???

Back off of Jac Schaeffer

I'm aware that I'm just yelling into the void, (the people who need to hear this won't read it, and the people who will read this already agree) but I need to say something, in good conscience.

Back off of Jac (and Kathryn too).

I understand people are upset about "queerbaiting" and what they are percieving as a "sidelining" of a sapphic relationship in favor of a mlm one.

That's not what's happening here, at all. Your tantrums, threats, and bullying are counterproductive- all you are doing is making fools of yourselves, and disincentizing creatives from wanting to engage with complex sapphic narrative; or sapphic narratives at all.

If even touching a sapphic relationship is going to get actors and showrunners harassed if they aren't "endgame" or the "main couple" ("where's the kiss?" "when will they scissor?") or whatever the hell the platonic ideal of a sapphic relationship is, they are not going to want to engage in them any more. And those potential storylines are going to go to straight couples or couples of other orientations instead- exactly the thing you all are railing against.

Do you not see how you are working against yourselves?

I also think you people are forgetting that the opposition doesn't see the difference between the different kinds of queer- they just see us all as one minority who need to be silenced. When we fight and divide, we are serving their agenda, not our own.

And stop being fucking weird in Kathryn Hahn's instagram comments. You might think you're being cute or joking, but she's a middle aged woman who's been terminally offline- she doesn't get it, and I predict as soon as the show is done, she's going to bail, because of the level of harassment. Would you say in front of your parents some of the shit people have been putting in her comments?

Your entitlement and whining isn't attractive, or funny, and you are ruining the future prospects of another well crafted show from such a large conglomerate. Jac and company worked hard against their corporate overlords to bring us this celebration of the queer community, and this is the dust you're paying them in return.

They don't owe you shit. Grow the fuck up.

Agatha All Along + text posts pt 3/?