To: professor@schoolname.edu Subject: CLASS3290 Question

are you mad at me

Yes

Sent from my Galaxy Dishwasher

Everything is transgender everybody transgender

Sorry the article title is even funnier

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

Oh my GOD

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.

2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.

3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.

4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again

5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out

6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead

7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard

8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.

9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals

10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks

11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped

12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home

13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near

15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again

16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds

Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking

I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else

…

Don’t mind me, I’m just taking notes for roleplaying games.

Ok

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

prev's tags are too good not to save

Finally got a clear shot of noonoo carrying her spring, it's her favourite toy

noonoo….

Something that’s awesome about tumblr compared to other sites is that we’re still passing around images and things that people posted on here upwards of 15 years ago like I saw this amazing photo on here earlier with only like a thousand notes and the timestamp on the post was like this time of year in 2010

Everybody is just on here sharing cool stuff that they enjoy and there’s no shelf life on posts here. I love that

chicken jockey being the last possible 4chan post is fucking hilarious but there's so many amounts of comedic irony to it.

it's like a tyrant dying from falling over a medium sized brick wall. humiliating end.

chicken jockey is just, a bad omen at this point

but in this case, it's a blessing in disguise.

for those that don't know.

Yeah....

ELVIS ?

i had to

This is what we're talking about. This is the resistance someone can do in their everyday job. Judgement gets passed down and you're just supposed to dot the i's and cross the t's? Don't. Just refuse.

Now, I know an acting county clerk isn't just anyone - this man had a very unique opportunity to do some very serious blockading in his everyday job - but that's kind of the point! Nobody's just anyone. You never know when you'll have an opportunity.

Don’t….. fuckin power wash your roof. Don’t let anyone power wash your roof.

Friend, from the tone of your words, I feel like you’ve just learnt a hard lesson here…

Fortunately no, it was an easy lesson I learned when I was seven when my dad was power washing the driveway and I asked if he was going to power wash the roof next and he explained to me that it would damage the roof because it was meant to handle rain and snow, which is never going to be as hard as a power washer.

Lots of people are learning this the hard way this year though. It’s a new scam. Someone knocks on your door and offers to wash your roof for two hundred bucks. “Damn, that’s a pretty good price,” you think, knowing that roofs require a huge chunk of change. The guy power washes the roof and leaves. It was a cash transaction, and he didn’t leave contact information, so when your roof starts leaking during the first rain, you have no one to contact to sue for damages and you’re stuck on the hook for replacing the roof yourself, which you either do yourself (cost of materials and many hours of your time) or you hire someone to do for you (which runs into the tens of thousands of dollars, an amount people normally can’t just drop).

Lots of new homeowners don’t know this stuff, and it would definitely behoove them to research it, but until they have the time to do that, I’m here to say: Don’t power wash your roof.

@importantdogimages

by fomajc on instagram. im losing my shit over this

one detail i think is important to point out: if you look at the video frame by frame, you will see that his pants come off