I am Bee

I'm an adult who has a husband and a queer teenager. I'm disabled, autistic and I'm genderqueer, bisexual, and aromantic

I'm ineffectualdemon on blue sky, pillowfort and cohost

I have a side blog where I am recording my retro watching reviews/project and you can find it here: @retro-watching

This blog is 90% Blorbo from my shows, 5% mental health/disability talk, 4% advocacy and 1% trying to cause people psychic damage

I curate my experience and am free with the block

Other notes: I am not your "Good Insane Person" I am uncomfortable and difficult and while I am open about my mental health struggles I am not better then other people who are mentally ill

My tag #not safe for esmes is because my kid has a Tumblr and follows me and they don't need to see me be randomly horny or sharing dick jokes or unpacking my trauma. So most nsfw content or talk about my childhood trauma gets that tag so it automatically filtered out for them

And no my kids name isn't Esme. That's our cat. It's just a convenient word

When you think about it Luo Binghe has two dads but they are a bit copy paste

Like if Tianlang-Jun had been the one to give Luo Binghe advice he probably would have given him the same advice

Tianlang-Jun, who didn't even make the canon cut, was probably even more of a escapist fantasy for Airplane then Binghe

You wander around eating, reading, watching shows and having fantastic sex and a big dick. You have the love of an icy beauty, and a the loyalist of companions and are powerful and impervious to most harm

This sounds like what Airplane wishes his life could be

Clearly they need to fuck

Ultrasound tech: they should take you off your meds as I can't see any evidence of inflammation

Me: ...that's because the medication is working. It comes back if I stop

Me: *starts holding out my tongue like a pornstar with a mouth full of cum when I take my pills even when alone because I am hoping that the universe declares me a good*

Also me: wow. A psychologist could write a dissertation on how fucked up I am just based on this alone

Should I be concerned that I have started to stick my tongue out to show off a tongue full of pills, like I'm in a porno and it's mouthful of cum, before taking my pills normally?

I don't even know why I'm doing it tbh

I hate it when people have Yue Qingyuan have possessive vibes like he's going to atticwife or manipulate Shen Jiu

The man is a pathetic sack of shit in a lot of ways but he's not going to go stalker/lock Shen Jiu in a prison

It's closer to say that he would sit in a room and refuse to leave unless Shen Jiu tells him to then that he'd try to hold Shen Jiu anywhere

Yue Qingyuan is desperate to be the atticwife

But when it comes to Shen Qingqiu having other relationships you only have to look at how he treats Shen Yuan as Shen Qingqiu

He keeps the brotherly distance that Shen Yuan clearly expects and wants. He is glad that Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu are close now and asks Shang Qinghua to look out for Shen Qingqiu

He is sad that Shen Qingqiu loses his favourite disciple!

His only issue with Luo Binghe is everything that Luo Binghe did! And even then! He only really puts up a token "I don't approve of your husband" protest (which he has every right to) and then let's it go

Also he didnt pretend Shen Jiu wasn't wrong for what he did to Binghe and even challenged him on that in the water prison in the extras but then offered to let Shen Jiu kill him like that's a normal thing to do

Tbh I don't think Yue Qingyuan necessarily even wants Shen Jiu to forgive him or love him. I don't think he thinks he's worthy of that.

Yue Qingyuan would just be incandescently reassured and happy if, instead of torturing white lotus Binghe, Shen Jiu tortured him.

Yue Qingyuan isn't trying to possess or own or control Shen Jiu

He's wanting Shen Jiu to own and control him

All his mess ups in accidentally undermining Shen Jiu were failed attempts to make him look better

He tries to stop Shen Jiu ruining his own reputation. He's terrible at doing so but that he what he's going for

If you have had a toxic ass friend/relative who says the most out of pocket shit to stir and you laugh nervously and are like "they didn't mean it" in an attempt to defuse the situation only for the toxic ass friend/relative double down and make everything worse? Or you try to make apologises for them and people ask you why you're defending their behaviour you know the vibe

Yue Qingyuan is not being a manipulative controlling asshole who is abusing Shen Jiu

He's an enabler

That's his role

Just please! Stop making him into something he isnt