hard liquor and a crossword WILL save you!

no one:

magazines at the boutique yarn store:

people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

(Via @morganpdf )

the art of touch in Crash (1996), dir. David Cronenberg.

I hope next April fools they bring back the socialist federation of Yugoslavia for me and my Balkan mutuals

so jason isaacs hangs dong in White Lotus huh…

i mean that’s not how i would say it

fixed it

Statement.

original post

bit mad innit. This whole thing

Me at the beginning of this year: I’m so gonna fix my life dude this is gonna be the year everything changes I’m not gonna let anything slip through the cracks it’s time to live

Me approaching the end of March:

i’m so pissed cause fabio can’t show his skills on this stupid bike. i mean my man knows how to overtake, but the bike doesn’t