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fatima aamer bilal, from so this is all i will ever be?
[id: how did i grow old so young? / how did i forget to live before i lived at all?]
fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s i know fire like i know my home; they burn the same.
(until you don't even know who you used to be)
@ivynightshade your poems are always so inspirational and beautifully heartbreaking, thank you for sharing them <3 i love to make taylor web weaves out of them
sources under the cut
fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘when god pottered hand i. your dishwasher is empty.’
fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s i can't be loved, swallowed or digested. must i make myself smaller?
this thought was unceasing: somewhere must be home. / the spine-folding need to belong was woven into my skin. no amount of clawing could ever get it out. / it scared me that even at my very best, i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from being fond of the tearing. isn’t mauling touch? / the warmth of a hand close to you, right before it tears you apart, is something. / you’re always welcome in my kitchen. / i store all the love in my flesh. won’t you take a bite? / skin me to my last bone, draw out the marrow till it is gone. / (save me from my heritage. i wonder if violence is all i have inherited?) / i am not beautiful like a pomegranate, but i could be. skin is skin; all that it hides was never pretty, so don’t worry about getting your hands bloody. / i had seen it firsthand with the people around me: it was safe to think that if jay wasn’t bleeding to death, he would have tried his absolute best to be friends with the knife jabbed in his back. / how we become a vessel of need was beyond me. "let me be of service," i say to everything in particular. / i always keep band-aids in my bag, just in case someone needs them. / actually, to be called upon. to hear my name softly. to be needed. to be required. to be wanted. / wasn’t i just praying on others to get hurt so that they could need me? / might as well be the sharp object that hurt them in the first place. / but i can’t be helped. i hang from every word of affirmation with a rope around my neck.
fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘my body is a slaughterhouse’.
because what's worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?
moony moonless sky, fatima aamer bilal // @/babelico // @/z-m-3 // unknown // untitled, molly brodak // unknown // "solstice on the middle fork", tar river review, catherine abbey hodges // the first cut, simon shepherd // @/ashstfu // someone taking your place, hadesbrooke // lovers/friends, the lylacs // unknown // unknown // maps, yeah yeah yeahs // even flesh eaters don't even want me, fatima aamer bilal // vanivanvanilla // unknown // jane seville // tighter please..., lilythula // u.k. // hyacinth meaning and symbolism, fresh trimmings // @/l-amouur // jessica katoff
fatima aamer bilal, from shame is a girl’s second skin.
[text id: little girl, you think your touch would burn the sun. / but you want to be held, / you’ll let a hand around your throat for the sake of it.]
