"House MD is unrealistic" you're right here's my script for a realistic medical show

Patient: I threw up 4 gallons of blood

House: sounds like you need to lose weight

I had a crazy dream last night. I was taken up and altered by higher dimensional beings, but it turned out they were pretty cool guys, and after spending billions of years awestruck by watching galaxies spin, I came back home to convince other people to join me.

Yeah, I looked like a tentacled horror, but I kept trying to tell people that I only look like that because of your two-dimensional eyes, and that I looked quite normal when seen in higher dimensions. But they kept running away screaming.

Even telling people that there are senses and thoughts and emotions awaiting them that they could never imagine in the prison of their three dimensional bodies, nobody wanted to listen.

Weirdly enough, none of this frustrated me. After spending billions of years watching the stars, I felt like I had all the time in the world compared to mortal lifespans. They'd come around eventually.

Chat, what does that mean?

I kinda looked like this

Ok Magnum P.I.

This machine kills AI

This is the most satisfying story I've read in a long time

Hey uh… wtf is this?

The feng shui is fucked as they say

MY BROTHERS ADOPTED THIS CAT

SHE ISN'T ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH STRING BECAUSE SHE'LL EAT IT

Present day Spookers

Straight guys who use tumblr are the funniest people ever literally how did you end up here

Dei hire

Why do I gotta be funny

okay so I'm having a debate with my flatmates

are these all different things and if so what do you call them

love that being clean and having a "clean" aesthetic are now seen as right wing dog whistles, look if you shower I'm sorry but you might be a Christian nationalist

Going the Viking Bathing route. Christian cleanliness and hygiene is how they will win the Crusades 2.0